Bulletproof Heart
by NeverThink
Summary: Veronica has just awoken from her cryogenic prison and needs to find her son. But maybe, along the way, she'll find something more? Sole Survivor x MacCready
1. It's The End Of The World

_**Hello, all! This is my very first Fallout story, and it's basically a retelling of the story from Fallout 4, but with my own twist. Some of the dialogue will remain the same or be very familiar, but this won't be for the whole thing. My character is called Veronica and the pairing will be OCxMacCready. I really hope you enjoy this! Please feel free to suggest anything if you feel like I'm not doing this justice - I take on board all construction criticism. Thanks!**_

 _ **Rating will be M for some swearing, bloody violence and mature scenes in older chapters. Chapters will alternative POV's between characters as marked in bold.**_

* * *

 **VERONICA**

 _Tell me, why does my heart go on beating?  
And why do these eyes of mine cry?  
Don't they know it's the end of the world?  
It ended when we said goodbye  
Why?  
It ended when we said goodbye._

As the last bars of the song echoed, three crows burst from their hiding spot in a dead tree and screeched past my head, barely skimming my auburn hair. The radio signal on my Pip Boy had been incredibly strong the further I'd slunk through the city centre, and now I stood before the source of its power. I scoffed as I took in the sight before me; Fenway Park – with its sturdy walls and large capacity – had been utilised as some kind of base of operations. Once upon a time, I'd had my first date with Nate here. I sighed at the memories of hotdogs and kisses. My mind then flashed forward, to a scene I'd had to witness not even a day ago… Nate clutching at Shaun, yelling at them to stop… that scarred, ugly man, raising his gun and shooting Nate directly in the forehead as those kidnapping sons-of-bitches took my baby away… all that blood…

I shook my head. This was not the time. I had to think of Shaun, and besides, it was no longer the baseball stadium it had once been. Now it was known as the Great Green Jewel of the Commonwealth – Diamond City, even. I'd been told this was the best place to start my search. With a flutter of hope in my heavy heart, I made a move towards the entrance.

Hearing another voice cut through the eerie atmosphere of post-apocalyptic dusk, I stopped short and quickly clicked the radio off from my Pip Boy. A woman was stood by the gate, yelling into the intercom and throwing her fits in the air. I noted the tatty red leather jacket that came past her knees and the flat newsboy type cap cover her short black hair – she looked in need of help.

"Come on, you've got to let me in!" She was pleading now. "I live here, you know that!"

The intercom choked to life and an unsure voice coughed out, "I'm sorry Piper, but I've told you, the Mayor told me not to let you in. It was a direct order."

Clearly frustrated, she grunted and kicked the green wall, wincing as she did so. I started to walk towards her, now that I was sure she wasn't going to hurt me. I'd ran into enough people wanting to kill me at this point that I was pretty sure she wasn't one of them. I must've made a noise underfoot, because she suddenly whirled round on me. A smile crept on her face, and she crossed her arms, nodding at the gate. "You want in too, yeah?"

"I want in," I agreed. She scrunched up her face in delight and pressed the intercom again.

"Piper, I've told you-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" She cut the voice off. "There's a trader out here. Are you really going to turn away trade? I wonder what Mayor McDonough would think?"

The intercom was quiet for a moment. Then there was a long, angry sigh. "FINE. Fine, I'll open the gate."

And with that, a low grumble began and the large, garage-door like gate began to rise. Piper looked utterly gleeful, clapping her hands and grinning at me madly. I'd only just met the woman and she looked ready to clutch me into a bear hug! I edged away from her a little, giving a small smile, and followed behind her as she walked through into the stadium.

Just like everything else in the Commonwealth, the inside of Fenway Park was dilapidated. Dust reigned supreme and metal objects rusted to the point of being unrecognisable. Another security guard, like the ones lining the streets outside, stood in what would have been the concession stand, shaking his head. He held a rifle and wore armour made from baseball uniform with patches of leather stitched in prestigious points around the body – I had laughed when I first saw a Diamond City guard wearing a baseball helmet, but apparently, they didn't 'get it'.

"You're not a trader, are you?" He frowned at me before gritting his teeth at Piper. "Oh, for the love of… Look, Piper, I'm going to get into so much shit for this."

"Who let her in? Sullivan, I told you to keep her out!" A booming voice caught our attention, and I heard Piper mutter under her breath. The guard, presumably Sullivan, raised his hands in an 'I-told-you-so' fashion and backed away from us, returning to his position behind the stand.

A short but round man was pacing our way, wearing a suspiciously well-kept brown suit and hat combo. He stopped a couple of feet away from us, stroked his moustache nervously and then pointed an accusing finger at Piper.

"You devious, rabble-rousing slanderer!" He scowled at her. "The level of dishonesty in that paper of yours! I'll have that printer scrapped for parts."

"Oooh!" Piper mocked being frightened, wiggling her fingers. "Is that an official statement? I can see the headlines now - 'Mayor McDonough shuts down the press!'"

She whacked me on the arm suddenly. "What about the newcomer? Do you support the news? Because the Mayor is threatening to throw free speech in the dumpster."

Caught off guard by the inquiry, I stumbled to think of words. I just wanted to get into Diamond City, not take part in some firing match between a reporter and her mayor. "This really isn't any of my business."

"Oh, I didn't mean to bring you into this argument, ma'am!" McDonough wheezed. I could feel Piper's eyes boring into the side of my face, but I didn't look at her. "No, no, no… you look like Diamond City material!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned, but he was already in full greeting mode.

"Welcome to the Great Green Jewel of the Commonwealth! Safe. Happy! A fine place to come to spend your caps and settle down." He suddenly gestured towards Piper, disgust clearly painted on his face. "Don't let this muckraker tell you otherwise."

"You're full of it," I muttered. I'd met enough sleezy salesman in my time to understand that he was obviously overselling the quality of this so-called jewel city. Sensing my clear impatience with this god-awful welcome party, McDonough shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

He cleared his throat, "What brings you to this _fine_ city, anyway?"

I didn't want to answer that question. I clenched my left fist around the strap of my holster, as if clinging to it would take me away from here. Piper was looking at me now, really looking at me. I could sense concern in her eyes, which made me feel a little better. For some reason, through all this insane bull-crap, I knew that she was someone I could trust. I mean, why not trust the loud-mouth reporter whom of which was currently being accused of slander? My eyes met hers, and she gave a small nod. Did she already know what I was going to say?

"I, um…" I took a deep breath. I didn't have to tell them the whole truth, right? "I'm looking for someone."

"Who?" McDonough didn't even flinch. I hated him in that moment.

"If you must know…" Fighting back tears, I gulped. "My baby boy. Shaun. He's less than a year old."

"Wait, your son is missing?" Piper's voice was raised more so than it had been in the past few minutes. "You hearing this, McDonough? This isn't the first missing persons report to come through here. What are Diamond City Security going to do to help this poor woman?"

"Oh, ha, well," The Mayor rocked on his feet. "You know that we can't help every poor soul that comes wandering through here. But I am certain that you can find something that can help during your stay."

"My stay?" I frowned as he began pulling me towards the ballpark entrance.

"This is ridiculous!" Piper freed my arm and blocked us both off from our route. "Diamond City can't spare one miserable guard? I want the truth! What's the real reason why we never investigate any kidnappings?"

"There is no conspiracy!" McDonough stomped his foot. "I've had quite enough of this, Piper. From now on, consider you and that little sister of yours on notice."

"Yeah, yeah," She muttered, linking her arm through mine. We were finally getting into the city.

"What did you print to make him so angry?" I whispered.

"Oh, nothing but the truth," She smirked. "He's a synth."

I wanted to ask what a synth was, when suddenly we were in the ballpark – okay, no longer the ballpark! The entire stadium had been converted into a giant market place, with paths marked out leading to makeshift huts. It was just teeming with life! Since waking up in the vault, I hadn't seen so much _life_. There were stands circling the centre, one selling meat, one selling clothes and another selling weapons, plus so much more. A food bar of some kind was planted in the middle, with what looked like a Protectron serving noodles. Protectrons were robots creating by RobCo as low-level security for use in public buildings. Or at least, they were used in that fashion before the war. Now, here one was, a kitchen lady. I had to laugh.

"What's wrong?" Piper was smiling, her arms folded.

"I just…" I couldn't find the words.

Suddenly, a small child came bounding up to us, hair flying and lips pulled back into a toothy grin. "Piper!"

"Hey, Nat," Piper waved before being practically tackled. I guessed this was the little sister McDonough had threatened. "Calm down, little one. How's the paper selling?"

Nat finished embracing her older sister and shrugged, looking at the floor. "Not so good."

"Don't worry about it, I've got an idea," Piper glanced at me. "Hey, could you come in for a second and answer a couple of questions?"

She pointed at a shack a few feet away. I could see a printing press by the door, rusted and wonky but apparently still functional. Above the door, a piece of metal hung at an angle, 'Public Occurrences' scratched into the paint. Home, sweet home, I mused.

"I didn't agree to an interview, Piper," I shook my head. "I need to find someone who can help me."

She shrugged. "It's nearly quittin' time. Stalls are closing up, you're better off resting for the night and going out in the morning. Besides, I know exactly who you need to speak to. If I was feeling generous, say, because I'd just taken the greatest most anticipated interview in the whole world… I might be willing to point you in the right direction. What do you say, Blue?"

"Blue?" I looked at her quizzically. "And what makes my interview so renowned?"

"Yeesh, the _eye-piercingly blue_ jumpsuit!" She giggled. "It's a dead giveaway. You're a Vault Dweller!"

I looked down at myself. I was still wearing the jumpsuit that Vaultec had given me when I'd first entered all that time ago. It was faded, but still pretty bright. I guess I really stuck out amongst the sea of browns and greys. I shifted the holster around my waist – I had a pistol that I stole from the Vault during my escape – and laughed a little. "Okay, a few questions. Then you tell me where I need to go."

"Step into my office. We're going to print the story of the century!"

Piper's home was as depressing as everywhere else I'd visited in the Commonwealth. Two limp mattresses in one corner, an antique dresser deteriorated by woodlice in the other, and a tattered couch that looked like it was pulled from the ocean. She grabbed a can of Pork 'N' Beans from a fridge – a fridge with no power and no door – and plonked herself heavily on the couch. Nat ran past us happily, sitting on her mattress and picking up an old bear that had clearly seen better days. I felt like I was at a homeless shelter, but something told me this was one of the more upscale living spaces these days.

I moved to sit next to Piper but felt like I couldn't make myself at home. I felt so out of place wherever I went now. I stood awkwardly, towering over her. She frowned but was smiling at the same time, as if I amused her.

"So, the first question is a two-for," She pulled a pencil from her ear and a small notepad from her breast pocket. Where had she got such luxuries, I wondered. "What's your name, and what is it like living in a Vault?"

My mind flitted with memories.

The alarm had been raised. Soldiers lined my street, waving their arms, forcing us to run like sheep in a pen. Nate had Shaun in his arms, kept telling me he loved me. I never replied. The platform down into the Vault began to descend, but not before we saw the first bomb hit, a mushroom cloud darkening the skies.

We had made it. We were down in the Vault. We got changed into jumpsuits, advertising Vault 111 on our backs. They took us to the decompressing room. We had to be cleaned & primed, ready for our new home. But they weren't decompression chambers. They were cryogenic booths.

"Ver-Veronica. And… I didn't really live there," Was all that I actually said. I fell to the couch, my knees crumpling beneath me. "We made it before the bombs destroyed the city, but it turned out to be another form of hell. They froze us."

"Froze… you?" Piper looked as confused as I felt. "Wait, you were alive before the war?"

"Yeah." I swallowed.

"Oh, man," She breathed, before beaming at the notes she was making. "The woman out of time! What a headline! So, how did you get out?"

"I have no idea," I answered truthfully. "The door to my chamber just, sort of, opened. Everyone else was dead. Their bodies didn't survive the process." I was getting angry now. "I hacked into a computer. We were all just some sick experiment to them."

"What have you done since emerging from your underground prison? Wandering out here all by yourself?"

Now I gave a small chuckle and shook my head. "I actually haven't been alone since I woke up. My old house-robot, Cogsworth, was still hanging around my street. He pointed me in the direction of some insane group of inbred savages, thinking they'd help me out."

"Raiders," Piper groaned. "But surely, they had guns. How did you escape?"

"It was a shootout. I'd already got this," I pointed at my gun. "So… I did what I had to. There were some others, a group calling themselves The Minutemen."

Piper laughed now, and loud. She whacked her leg and wiped a tear from her eye, before looking at me again and raising her eyebrows. "Oh, you're serious?"

"Yeah!" I couldn't help but laugh back. "Or should I say, the last of The Minutemen and his followers. They actually ended up setting up camp on my old street. Sanctuary Hills?"

"You might have to take me some time," Piper looked down at her notes, but I could tell she was blushing. "Anyway, we're losing track. So, this Preston guy tells you to come here, I'm guessing, and this is where you start your search for baby. Shaun, was it? Which leads me to my next question. What do you tell our readers who might be looking for their own person? There are a lot of kidnappings out in the Commonwealth these days. What do you say to them?"

I knew she'd eventually bring everything back to that. I breathed heavily, playing with my holster again, and closed my eyes. "Just take each day as it comes. That's all any of us can do."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

"Take each day as it comes," I breathed, holding my hands over my face as I laid on the bed of my rented room. It was dusk already, but I couldn't sleep. I'd only scored 350 caps today and that wasn't enough. Sighing, I pulled my hands down my face until I was clutching my shirt collar, then jumped up to sit on the edge of the bed. I had to think of him, it was the only way I could get through each day.

My coat was strewn on the floor, so I reached into the pocket and pulled out the note I kept with me at all times. His handwriting was something to be desired, but it gave me hope. _See you real soon, dad! Love, Duncan._

He'd drawn me, but with much bigger muscles, posing like I'd just won a championship. It made me smile to know that I was his hero right up until the moment I left. But how many weeks ago had that been now? How many months? I was losing track. I was still no closer to my goal. I couldn't go back empty handed.

My head fell into my hands; I was barely able to keep it up by myself. Okay, so I'd been drinking again, so what? The warm, sticky beer served down at The Third Rail wasn't the best tasting brew I'd tried, but it was enough to numb me on days when I really didn't want to feel at all.

Tomorrow, I would wait in that dank, dusty bar. There was always a weak, fragile idiot in need of a bodyguard, and that bodyguard would be me. I was going to double my prices too. Come on, I was worth it! There weren't many snipers out here in the Wastes. A gun-for-hire was all I was worth. Lucy would be turning in her grave.

I thought of home now. One day, I'd be back. I just… I just had to take it one day at a time.


	2. Into Each Life, Some Rain Must Fall

**VERONICA**

 _Some folks can lose the blues in their hearts  
But when I think of you, another shower starts  
Into each life, some rain must fall  
But too much has fallen in mine_

I hummed along to the tune as I laid on the couch of Piper's home. I hadn't been able to sleep last night because I was so restless, so I'd flipped the radio signal back on and had eventually nodded off. When I'd woken this morning, it was still playing softly and my face was sticky with dried tears.

I'd dreamt of Nate. It felt like stepping into the past – we were cooing over Shaun in his crib and no Vault-Tec salesman came to the door. Nate had asked me about going to the park again. This time I'd said yes, what a wonderful idea, instead of berating him like last time. Then we'd sat down to watch some TV, with no news coverage about atomic wars. There we sat, and I held onto him so tight that my muscles became sore and cramped. I even told him that I loved him, something I hadn't done in a long time.

But all good things must come to an end, which I remembered bitterly as my eyes fluttered open to reveal the very real future I now lived in. I had to stop myself from crying again; my heart ached for the past.

I slowly pulled myself up into a sitting position and ran my fingers through my hair. I smelt awful. There was a carton of dirty water on the coffee table in front of me, but even with the immense thirst I'd felt since being unfrozen, I couldn't bring myself to drink it. Piper must've read my mind, because just as that thought left me, she rose groggily from her mattress on the floor and rubbed her eyes with one hand whilst pointing to the broken fridge with the other.

"There's some Nuka-Cola if you want some. Just plain though."

My jaw dropped as she yawned and stretched before me, and I eagerly dived over to grab a bottle. "Oh, man! You still have these? I thought I'd never taste one again."

I popped the cap and threw it aimlessly at the ground before downing the addictive fizzy drink as fast as I could. I knew it wouldn't quench my thirst, but it was a taste of home.

"Whoa," Piper scolded, snatching the bottle cap and throwing it back at me. "Don't lose that, you might need it later."

"I'm sorry, what?" I frowned, inspecting the cap.

"Right, you'll still be hung up on pre-war money," Piper yawned again and came to sit next to me. By now, Nat was stirring too. "So, these days folks use bottle caps as common currency."

"Oh yeah," I thought back to yesterday. "I heard the Mayor mention something about spending caps, I'd just assumed it was slang. Okay, I can get on board with this. But, uh, I don't have a purse anymore. Or pockets."

Piper smiled. "I can lend you a small bag, but you might want to consider upgrading your get-up."

She reached under the couch and tossed me a small messenger bag made of what would have been a really nice brown leather. Now, the leather had cracked and peeled, revealing the black lining underneath. I placed the single bottle cap in the bag and hoisted it over my shoulders so that it sat at the opposite side to my gun holster.

"Lookin' good, Blue." Piper finger-gunned at me and laughed. "Now, how about I take you to the market, huh? I promised you I knew a guy who could help, the noodle bar happens to be on the way. Breakfast time!"

#####

We spent roughly 40 minutes eating noodles, conversing with local settlers and perusing the market stalls. As much as I wanted to just get on with things, it was somehow soothing to hear stories from other people like me. People who had lost someone or were just out trying to earn some caps. Apparently, being a Vault Dweller was akin to being famous; everyone gasped when they saw my clothing and begged to know details of Vault 111. Piper batted them off successfully, plugging her next newspaper at the same time. They wanted to know what life was like inside a Vault? They could read about it all in the next issue of Publick Occurrences, printing soon!

At one point, a travelling seller – known as a Caravan – noticed the rings I wore and offered me 500 caps for both. I refused him, twisting those pieces of metal around my finger painfully as I did so. I felt disgusted with myself, because a part of me had almost said yes.

The one thing I couldn't help but hear consistently throughout our trip through the market was people whispering about The Institute. During stories of missing family members, someone else would remark that The Institute was behind it all. Others claimed that their family member would return… as a Synth. It was like a child's ghost story, the boogeyman that came in the night and snatched you while you slept. But I got a sense of real terror in these stories which made me shudder. The settlers of Diamond City were terrified.

As promised, Piper eventually led me down a narrow path away from the main area and pointed at a hut with a broken neon sign above the door. It said "Valentine Detective Agency", but not all of the letters were glowing still.

"That's where you'll find Nick Valentine," Piper announced. "He's good at tracking people down."

"Are you coming in with me?" I asked, nervous to meet yet another new face.

"I've got a paper to print," She smirked. "But anytime you need me… you know where I am."

Her eyes were suggestive as she walked away. I laughed inwardly and made my way towards the entrance to the agency. A quick deep breath, a whispered pep-talk and a shake of the head helped me focus my mind. I had to do this – for Shaun.

I pushed open the door and was greeted with a dusty office filled to the brim with filing cabinets and folders. A sturdy desk stood in the middle of the room, covered in files and paper, plus an ash tray filled with bottle caps and what looked like berries. A rickety staircase led upstairs besides me and a musty smell lingered in the air.

A slender woman stood by one of the filing cabinets, hunched over a drawer and talking quietly to herself. She hadn't heard me open the door, so I cleared my throat, to which is jumped and dropped all of her files. She glanced at me; she was pretty but had the same look about her that everyone else that I'd met so far had. Dark circles around her eyes, sunken cheeks and a sallow complexion. I expected her to have a sweet voice to match her doe eyes, but instead her face turned into a frown as she stooped to pick up her work.

"Another stray coming in from the streets," She barked. "You're too late. Office is closed."

Taken aback, I coughed and tried again. "This won't take up much of your time. I need to speak to Nick-"

"Nick isn't here," She muttered, fumbling with the paperwork on the floor. I decided to take the friendly approach and crouched down to help.

"You working too hard?" I half-joked, passing her some of what I'd gathered.

She smiled appreciatively at me and we both stood up. "I'm sorry, I'm a little stressed at the moment. I'm Nick's secretary, Ellie."

"Veronica," I replied. "And don't worry about it, I think we're all stressed at the moment. I just need to speak to someone about a missing person?"

"Oh," Ellie sighed, ducking her head. She looked like she was about to cry. "I wish I could help you, I really do. But I'm afraid that Nick… Nick is also missing."

I felt impatience irradiate throughout my body but I clenched my fists to control it. "What happened?"

"He disappeared working on a case," Her eyes glazed over as she spoke. "Skinny Malone's gang had kidnapped a young woman and he'd tracked them to an old underground station. There's an old Vault down there that they use as a base. I told Nick he was walking into a trap, but he just smiled and walked out the door like he always does."

"Who's this Skinny Malone?" I pushed, trying my best not to seem too aggressive.

"I don't know much about him other that he's from Goodneighbor, so you can guess the sort."

No, I couldn't, but I didn't want to get into another conversation. My baby was out there somewhere and I felt like I was just dawdling.

"Look, I'll find Nick and bring him back," I offered. "I know it sounds crazy because I barely know either of you, but I really need your help. I do this… you guys help me?"

Ellie looked right into my eyes. "Yes."

"Okay then. Where's this underground station?"

Ellie furrowed her brows, looking at my pistol disapprovingly. "I'll tell you everything you need to know, but please don't tell me you're going alone."

I gestured to the space around me. Did it look like I had anyone?

She raised her eyebrows at me. "I'm just saying. This is a gang you're going up against, they all have guns. You're going to need back-up, perhaps even pay a mercenary? I know exactly where you can find someone like that."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

This was getting really old now.

I cracked my knuckles and leant back in my chair, legs spread casually, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. It didn't seem to deter the two thugs towering over me; Barnes clicked his tongue with impatience and Winlock crossed his arms with a chuckle. I wasn't surprised in the least, but I didn't want them to think I'd been watching over my shoulder, waiting for them to find me.

"It's been three months, boys." I titled my hat at them. "Well done for tracking me down again. Should we take this outside?"

"Nah," Winlock shook his head. "We're just here to deliver a message."

He was big, muscled man with a mohawk and scars. His pale skin had been blistered by the sun and probably too much exposure from Radiation Storms. His partner in crime, Barnes, was also muscled but not quite as burly, with dark brown skin hidden behind a beard and sun glasses. They both wore the same army-green uniform that all Gunners wear. The same clothing I'd once worn.

"I heard you're still taking jobs in the Commonwealth," Winlock continued, squaring up to me. "That isn't going to work for us."

"I don't take orders from you," I was getting angry now. I stood up, matching him in stance and height. "Not anymore. So why don't you take your girlfriend and walk out of here while you still can."

"Do I have to stand for this shit?" Barnes snarled, but Winlock threw an arm in front of him to stop him from launching at me. I smirked at him and winked.

Winlock stabbed a finger into my chest. "Listen up, MacCready. The only reason we've not pumped your sorry-ass full of bullets is because we don't want a war with Goodneighbor. See, we respect other people's boundaries. Something you don't seem to have learned."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone enter the room. It was a woman, but I couldn't get a good look at her without losing my staring contest with Winlock. She seemed to shrink into the shadows, sensing the danger in the room.

"Glad to have disappointed you," I remarked.

"You can play the tough guy all you want," Winlock growled. "But if we hear you're still operating in Gunner territory? All bets are off. You got that?"

I raised one eyebrow and gave him a one fingered saluted. "You finished?"

The two men growled at me and turned to leave, noticing the woman who stood in the corner. She was looking at the ground, gripping a small holster around her body. They jeered at her and left. I sighed and plonked back down into my chair, taking my hat off and running a shaky hand through my hair. Why was I antagonising these guys? They were going to kill me. I saw that the woman was still in the same position, almost as if she didn't know where she was or why she'd come here. I put my hat back on and whistled to get her attention. "You want something?"

She walked slowly over to me and I looked at her properly for the first time. Her hair was a bright auburn, straggling loosely around her shoulders. Her skin was clean, really clean, and she wore a bright blue Vault suit. Of course, she was a Vault-Dweller. None of the grime of the Commonwealth had touched her yet. Her eyes were… well, they were compelling. There was something about her; she wasn't the average wanderer.

She was surveying the room as she came towards me. It was the back room of the Third Rail, a jazz bar located in Goodneighbor. It was where I came to drink beer and pick up jobs but it was completely out of the way – she had to have come in here looking for me.

"Look, if you're here to preach about the Atom, you've got the wrong guy." I grabbed a beer from beside me and knocked the cap off with my thumb. Quick as a flash, she caught the cap mid-air and stuffed it into her pocket. I took a swig of my beer and gave her a puzzled expression. "Cute, but that won't buy you anything – it's not a Nuka-Cola cap."

She shrugged and nodded towards the door. "Who were those guys?"

"Old friends," I breathed. "Who are you?"

"Veronica. Your name is MacCready, right?"

"That's right," I took another swig and looked her up and down. "So, what's with the pleasantries? You want something or not?"

"Protection," Veronica glanced at the sniper rifle leaning against the wall next to me. "I hear you're a mercenary."

"I'm not a body guard," I frowned. "And how do I know I won't end up with a bullet in my back?"

"You don't," She seemed to be growing with confidence, giving me an unreadable expression. "Isn't that the fun part?"

I smiled at her. "Can't argue with that. But it's going to cost you. 250 caps."

She bit her lip, instinctively using her right hand to touch the fingers of her left hand. I noticed a tan line around her wedding finger. Suddenly, her facial expression hardened again and she looked me dead in the eye. "Everything's negotiable. 200 caps."

I had to appreciate that. "You drive a hard bargain, I'll give you that. You've just bought yourself an extra gun. Now, where are we heading, boss?"

Veronica eyed me, placing a hand on her hip. "You ever heard of… Skinny Malone?"


	3. Pistol Packin' Mama

**MACCREADY**

 _Oh, lay that pistol down, babe_  
 _Lay that pistol down_  
 _Pistol packing mama_  
 _Lay that thing down_  
 _Before it goes off_  
 _And hurts somebody_

"Ugh, Diamond City radio, really?!"

Veronica shot me a dirty look as she fiddled with the Pip Boy on her wrist. I'd seen them before, but only ever in the wrists of skeletons, never in working order. Hers seemed to work perfectly, however, blasting that awful music out into the Commonwealth.

"You wanna keep it down?" I remarked, counting the caps she'd paid me for the third time. "There's things out here that you don't want to find us."

"Fine," she sighed, switching the signal off. She was still messing with it though, and I leaned over her shoulder to see. There was a map on her screen, and she was twisting the dials of the Pip Boy to zoom into a location.

She glanced up at me as she worked. "I can add map markers to create routes to places. I'm just locating Park Street Station and finding the quickest possible route. It's not far."

I shrugged, never one for technology, and began loading my rifle. Veronica finally put the screen down and started walking; I tried not to stare at her rear end as I followed. Those Vault suits were incredibly tight, making the perfect silhouette of her cheeks.

I would've turned on the charm by now, but ever since she'd given me my caps, she'd turned stony. I spoke and she barely registered. Whenever our eyes met, her expression was unreadable. If this was what it was going to be like the whole trip, I thought to myself, then maybe I should've stayed in Goodneighbor.

"I mean, I love peace and quiet as much as the next guy, but are you even going to tell me why we're about to risk our lives?"

"They have someone I need," she offered, still storming ahead of me, looking at her map every now and again. We were turning towards Trinity Tower, so I was about to warn her of the dangers lurking when she suddenly crouched down and put her finger to her lips. I crouched down too, and she silently pointed towards the Tower entrance.

There stood a ghastly green, impossibly big Super Mutant, guarding the door with a hunting rifle in his hands and a Mutant Hound by his heels. It was morning still, so the sun was beating down on us, leaving us with little cover. Veronica was staring at them, I could see the cogs turning in her head. She looked back at me and I gestured to my gun but she shook her head.

She gave me a look that said "fuck it" and began to slowly slink past the building. We were on the other side of the road, and we had a wall to lean into. I only hoped that the overgrown beast was too dumb or too blind to notice us. We crept at snails pace, holding our breath, until we had rounded the corner and could finally jog away to safety.

"What the fuck was that thing?!" Veronica gasped, catching the breath she'd been holding.

"I thought you were expecting him?" I frowned. We started to move again. "You were crouching like you knew he'd be there."

"I walked past that place on my way to Goodneighbor before, but I didn't see anything, I just heard voices. They were talking about skinning humans, so I pretty much ran away."

I laughed a little. "Yeah, they do love to make sacks of flesh from their victims."

"Oh, that's nice." She grimaced. "So what was it? It looked like a person... but green... and huge."

"They were people once," I explained. "I don't know all the ins and outs, but before the war, the government created the F.E.V. - the Forced Evolutionary Virus. It was mean to create super soldiers, but in the end it only made Super Mutants."

"Wow, our government was scum." She was twisting at the tan lines on her finger again. I decided not to press it.

After a couple of minutes, we arrived at Boston Common. It was the remnants of a park, with grubby irradiated water swamping around overgrown weeds. I didn't like being here; it was far too quiet. There was never anyone here. That was suspicious.

Veronica, none the wiser, strode purposefully towards the entrance to Park Street Station whilst I took a quick look around for enemies. She bounded down the steps and grabbed the handle, looking back at me and biting her lip.

"So, we're here." She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to level with you, my shooting experience consists of cans in the garden and a couple of raiders yesterday."

"Perfect" I whispered, and we entered the station.

The station was dimly lit but I could just about make out the shadow of three men stood near the ticket stand. Veronica had spotted them too and had hastily pulled her pistol from its holster, eyebrows furrowed. The men ahead wore suits and hats and were smoking. Oh man, what I wouldn't have done for a cigarette at that moment. I looked at Veronica and smirked.

"Watch, and learn."

I knelt on one knee, balancing my rifle on my leg, looked down the sight and held my breath. I aimed at the first guys head and BANG. He went down like a sack of cement. Quickly, I aimed at the second guy, then the third guy, and all three of them hit the ground before they even knew we were there.

"Impressed?" I raised an eyebrow as I rose to my feet.

"You killed three guys before knowing their intentions." Veronica berated. "Congratulations, I guess?"

"Look, they were Triggermen." I snapped back. "They would've shot us on sight. I'm minimising the damage, here. Isn't that why you hired me?"

She shook her head and walked over to the corpses. "I hired you to watch my back, not assassinate people."

"Whatever" I muttered.

What was with this chick? Did she not understand that it was kill or be killed out here? I knew she was from a Vault, but surely those idiots taught her about the outside world? Still, I had been hired to protect, so I didn't let her disappointment bruise my ego. She would have been killed in the spot if she'd tried to speak to those guys.

She was bent over one of them now, rifling through his pockets. So she was against me shooting them, but she didn't mind stealing a dead mans belongings? I had to bite my tongue from pointing out her hypocrisy.

"Well." I crossed my arms. "They're not going to need that anymore."

She was stuffing a box of 10mm round into her satchel, but she stopped and looked up at me. For the first time since leaving Goodneighbor, her eyes gave way to the tiniest hint of emotion - guilt.

"I... I might need it" she spluttered.

I nodded and let her continue. I actually approved of her scavenging for things she needed. If you didn't look out for number one around here, pretty soon you'd be dead.

Veronica stood and gestured that we continue though the ticket gates, further into the station. More stairs led us down into an open space with tracks - an old platform, tunnel caved in at one end and skeletons lining the seats. More Triggermen stood around, talking to each other or polishing their weapons. Veronica looked at me and I signalled that I wouldn't shoot. If she wanted to be all high and mighty, so be it.

She steadily began to walk towards the men, who upon seeing her, aimed their guns at her. My fingers itched to pull the trigger, but I stayed crouched in the shadow, aiming for when the time was right.

"Uh, don't shoot!" Veronica yelled. "I'm just here to see Skinny Malone."

"To hell with you!" One of the men shouted back. All at once, they fired at her. I instantly darted upward and efficiently began to take them all out. In the corner of my eye, I saw that Veronica had ducked behind a newspaper stand and was, hopefully, unharmed. After finishing off the last of the Triggermen, I offered her my hand to help her up, but I couldn't help the cocky smile that spread across my face.

"What did I tell you-" I began, when suddenly she shoved me out of the way, lifted her pistol and shot behind me. I heard someone gasp in pain and spun around to see that another Triggerman had been sneaking up behind me. He clutched at his leg now, the bullet from her gun tearing into him.

"Nice!" I exclaimed, whacking the guy unconscious with the butt of my rifle.

"I was aiming for his chest." She admitted, dusting herself off and straightening up. "Guess you were right."

"I always am." I agreed.

We headed down the only tunnel that wasn't caved in until we reached the entrance to a Vault. It was basically a massive cog in the wall, with a computer attached for opening and closing. Veronica dashed up to the screen and plugged her Pip Boy into a slot.

"How do you know that will work?" I asked, but my question was drowned out by the alarms and flashing lights of an opening Vault door. Now it was her turn to smirk at me.

"Not my first time," she wiggled her eyebrows at me and we waited for the Vault to fully open before heading inside. "Okay, so what's the attack plan?"

"See a guy, shoot him in the head?" I offered. "I'm not the planning type. I do enough to survive."

"Fair enough," she shrugged. "Let's go with that."

#####

 **VERONICA**

We had made our way throughout most of the Vault, shooting at the bad guys and stealing ammo and food from their pockets. I felt dirtier and dirtier as I did it, but I knew now that it was the only way. The world had changed so much. MacCready was an excellent marksman and did the majority of the work for me, for which I was grateful. I'd never shot a person until yesterday and I was still not a massive fan. I knew that if I didn't, they'd kill me, but somehow murder was still not high in my esteem. What was I becoming? Why had I come here?

Shaun. I repeated his name in my head over and over like a mantra. Finding my baby was more important than anything else now.

I looked at MacCready, trying to understand his indifference towards killing these people. As I did, I noticed his eyes - they seemed so much younger than his face, which was hardened into a steely glare. His cheekbones were prominent, perhaps from hunger? His mouth was framed by a short goatee and moustache combo which highlighted his strong jaw and his brown hair on his head was hidden beneath a hat. His clothes were weathered and torn. He'd been through a lot.

We reached what looked like a common area in the Vault, filled with chairs and small televisions, and I spotted a man on the balcony over looking the area. He was talking to someone but I couldn't quite make it out, or even see anyone else around.

I whispered to MacCready that I was going to try to sneak up to him to catch part of the conversation. He winced at the plan but told me to go ahead, said that he'd be watching from here and would kill the guy if need be. I appreciated that.

I quietly climbed the stairs to the balcony, and snippets of conversation became audible.

"Face it Nick, your time is up!" The Triggerman was talking at a window, sneering as he did so. "We beat you. End of the line, pal!"

"I don't think so," I interjected, aiming my pistol at his head. The guy took no hesitation to put a hand on his own gun. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I waved at MacCready, who was aiming down his own sight, and he waved back. "Mess with her, you mess with me."

"Fuck you!" The guy snarled, and he pulled out his gun.

I pulled the trigger without even thinking, disgusted with myself as it connected with the mans skull and his body crumpled to the ground. My vision was becoming blurred by something - tears? I blinked them away as MacCready ran over to me.

"Is this the part where you let me out of here?" An older mans voice, I assumed Nick, called from the window. The glass was too filthy to see through, but I could make out his silhouette. "That terminal releases the door."

I clicked my tongue as I saw the computer terminal attached the the wall. Okay, so I'd need the password to open the door and let Nick out. During my time at university, I'd studied computer hacking, but it's been such a long time since I'd done it.

"This guy doesn't have the password on him." MacCready piped up, having been looking at Nick's captor's body.

"I think I can hack this." I bit my lip. "Just give me a couple of minutes."

"We don't have a couple of minutes." Nick advised.

"I'll do my best." I breathed, clicking the computer to life. I remembered how to get to the encryption screen pretty quickly, and various symbols and letters filled the screen.

After a couple of tries, the computer pinged and the screen flickered. I was in! I couldn't believe it! I went into the security settings and unlocked Nicks prison, bounding through the door to greet him - only to gasp in horror when I saw his face.

"Easy, now." He said.

I felt MacCready moved behind me, gun pointed towards Nick. I backed away as I processed his appearance.

His skin was a cold, grey metal and part of his neck was missing, revealing colourful wiring inside his body. His eyes were yellow pinpricks, staring right into me. The detective coat and hat didn't fool me one bit, and even though I'd only heard stories so far, I knew exactly what he was.

He was a synth.


	4. Anything Goes

**VERONICA**

 _The world has gone mad today,  
And good's bad today,  
And black's white today,  
And day's night today_

MacCready was aiming his rifle directly at Nick Valentine's forehead. I was still trying to process what I was seeing. This is the _thing_ that Piper told me to find? A synth? Weren't Diamond City quaking in their boots at the very thought of these androids, yet one was running a detective agency within their walls? I couldn't understand it. His yellow eyes were staring right at me, not even blinking. I could tell that MacCready was confused about what to do as well, because his head kept flitting between me and Nick. Maybe only five seconds had passed but it felt like a life time before a strange, tinny-sounding chuckle came from the detective's metallic lips.

"Are you people on my side or what?" He quipped. "I don't mind the rescue, if that's what this is, but don't you think we should get the hell out of here?"

"You're a… synth." I gestured at him and he nodded slowly.

"A prototype synth, yeah," He offered.

"You didn't know you were rescuing a synth, I take it?" MacCready nudged me in the arm. "And here I was thinking you were a Railroad nutjob."

I didn't know what that meant, but I didn't have time to ask. I knew that Piper wouldn't send me after someone who might harm me, and the logical side of me understood that he wouldn't be allowed to operate in Diamond City if they feared him in any way. Besides, I may as well have been born yesterday for all I knew on the matter – whispers and stories couldn't be the basis of my opinion.

"We can trust him," I announced, and turned to leave. MacCready lowered his gun and grabbed my arm.

"Are you sure about this?" He looked a little annoyed, which I could understand. I shrugged him away, gave a curt nod and started for the exit again. He sighed and gestured for Nick to go second so that he could tail us.

As we jogged the halls of the Vault, I considered the situation I'd found myself in. I was rescuing a robot detective from an underground vault currently presided by a criminal gang with the help of a random mercenary I'd found in a jazz bar. All of this was occurring after already having helped a group of people called The Minutemen from Raiders, making friends with a stray dog and sleeping in a settlement that had been built slap bang in the middle of Fenway Park. What the _hell_ was happening to me?

We burst through a door that led to the main entrance of the Vault and I saw a cog-shaped whole in the wall opposite where we'd entered – but we weren't alone. An overweight, sweaty man in slacks was pointing a gun at us already, with two more Triggermen behind him and a bedraggled young woman slouching to his side. She looked like she was on drugs.

"Not one more step, Valentine!" The fat guy's voice boomed in the open space. I reached for my own pistol, levelling it with his.

"This is not how you treat guests, Skinny," Nick retorted.

"Why'd you have to go snooping around the place, huh?" Malone's top lip was beaded with sweat, and he quickly licked it away. I tried not to gag.

"Darla's parents miss her," Nick shifted his attention to the woman now. "How was I supposed to know that she'd chosen this life."

"You should've killed him when you had the chance, Skinny!" Darla shrieked, her voice so high pitched I had to wince.

"Shut up Darla, I'm handling it! Look Nick, in this vault, I'm king of the castle. I'm not letting some Private Dick ruin what good thing I got going here."

"Well maybe you should tell your dame to write home more often."

"Kill him, Skinny!"

"Shut the hell up!"

I couldn't take the voices anymore. None of these people were important right now; I needed to find my baby and I was wasting time on all of this drama. I cocked my gun and yelled: "Why don't you all shut up?!"

MacCready turned to me for a split second before putting his attention back on the people in front of us.

"Just move aside and let us pass." I reasoned. "I don't have time for this."

"You come in here, shoot up my guys," Skinny Malone grimaced at me. "And now you're expecting a free pass? I don't think so!"

With that, he squeezed his trigger, aiming at Nick, who ducked down and snatched a gun from his belt. I quickly found cover behind some metal containers as the gunfire began, and I watched as MacCready crouched behind a low wall, rifle over the top. He seemed to be trying to take out the two goons, whilst Nick was now wrestling with Malone hand to hand. I barely looked up at Darla's position when she came screaming at me, grabbing a chunk of my hair and ragging it downwards. I cried out in pain and tried to aim my gun at her, but she kept shaking my head back and forth, hitting my ribs with something heavy. I couldn't get a clear shot, but I had to do something – so I pushed my gun into the nearest part of her body and pulled the trigger.

She squealed and fell to the floor, allowing me to gather myself up and look at what she'd been hitting me with – a lead pipe! My ribs ached horrendously, but not as bad as hers must've felt at this moment. I'd shot her in the side. With each person I killed, I was beginning to care less. I repulsed myself.

Looking up at the chaos, I could see that MacCready had managed to kill the two Triggermen. He saw me and ran over, placing a gentle hand on my ribcage. The room was spinning, but I knew I had to focus.

"Are you okay?" He asked, and I nodded as much as I could. He nodded back and left me, turning his attention to where Nick was standing over Malone. The fat idiot was sobbing on the floor, begging for the synth not to kill him.

I assessed the pathetic man before me and pursed my lips. "Let's get out of here."

Nick knew a short cut out of Park Street Station via a maintenance tunnel, and we were soon back out in the cool night air of the Commonwealth. I marvelled at how it was evening already, seeing as though it was daylight when we'd got here. MacCready began checking the area for anything that might be lurking and I smiled at Nick, who was looking up at the sky.

"So, like I said, I appreciate the rescue, but who are you?" He asked me. The exposed wiring on his neck glinted in the moonlight.

"Ellie sent me," I offered. "I came looking for help and you weren't there, but she told me where to find you."

"And you risked your life for, what?"

I took a deep breath, incredibly aware that MacCready had come back over to us and was just a few feet away, within ear shot. "My baby boy."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

It was almost pitch black by the time we'd managed to walk to Diamond City. I'd never been allowed to enter this mysterious settlement before, so a small part of me was eager to get in there. Upon arriving, I was sort of impressed by the size and by the sturdy market stalls that lined the centre, but underneath all the paint and glam, I could tell that it was just another cesspool disguised as a town. I wanted to look around further, but Veronica was pulling me along. Apparently, the citizens of this place weren't too comfortable with 'my type' and I had to keep my head down.

I pulled a face at her. Okay, so I was a little mad that she hadn't told me about her missing son. I understood that I was just a gun to her, hired to help beat up Skinny's gang and then be on my merry way, but it would have been nice to know her motivation. Besides, she seemed to be able to tell everyone else freely – I already knew from her conversation with Nick on the walk here that she'd told a group of people who she had just met fresh out of the vault, who had in turn told her to come to Diamond City. Then she'd spilled the beans to the mayor _and_ some nosy journalist called Piper. I seemed to be the only person she hadn't been completely honest with.

Our trip here also gave us time to ask about Nick and the fact that he was a synth. Apparently, he knew very little about the whole thing, other than he woke up in an alley one day with no memory of how he got there. He'd only assumed that since he didn't look like the older style synths and was nowhere near as humanoid as the recent ones, that he must've been a prototype that went wrong and was dumped out here. I felt for the guy – he might've been the product of an evil corporation, but it wasn't his fault. It was something I could relate to.

Upon entering Nick's office, I already admired this guys style. Sure, it looked like a museum for dust mites, but it was dark and comforting, with plenty of corners to slink into. I found a good spot to rest, leaning against the wall and placing my rifle by my leg. Nick offered me a cigarette which I took happily, although Veronica declined. They took seats at either side of the large desk that filled the room.

"Nick!" A voice called from upstairs, and a young woman came bounding down towards us. "You actually found him! Thank you!"

Veronica gave a humble nod, and then gestured towards me. "It was no problem, Ellie."

Ellie thanked me quietly, glancing at my gun. I really made people uncomfortable, which made me chuckle.

"It is nice to see you again," Nick couldn't smile, but I could tell from the tone of his voice that he wanted to. "Now, Veronica, I need you to start from the beginning. Tell me what happened."

I tried not to seem like I was listening in, considering how I was probably about to learn a bunch of stuff she didn't really want me to know.

Veronica took a deep, shaky breath and began to talk slowly. "We were given space in Vault 111, due to our family's service to the government – my husband was in the army. But when the bombs starting falling and we were rushed into the vault, we discovered that it wasn't a safe haven at all, but some sick cryogenic experiment. We were… frozen. Like popsicles."

I had to stop the cigarette from falling out of my mouth as my jaw dropped. Was she telling us that she was pre-war? She was alive before the bombs fell? I knew she had seemed a little out of her depth in this world but I just guessed that she'd be born in a vault, not frozen for, what… 200 years?

"That's horrible to hear," Nick was writing notes. "Go on."

"Uh…" She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "So, I guess at some point these people came and unfroze everybody. Nate was in the pod opposite me, holding Shaun. I could see them trying to take Shaun, shouting at my husband to let go, everyone was screaming at each other, but I couldn't get out of my pod… and then that horrible man… he shot Nate in the forehead. They took Shaun and everything went cold again. Some time later, the systems must've malfunctioned, because I was thawed for a second time, and I escaped."

The room fell silent. Veronica wasn't crying, but her eyes were glazed and unfeeling. I could tell that she'd looped that memory in her head multiple times, and now it made her numb. I didn't know what to say or do, but I sure as hell knew that she didn't want some merc comforting her, so I stayed in my dark corner.

"I'm sorry to make you relive that," Nick eventually croaked. "If you have any other information, maybe a description of the kidnappers, that would be helpful."

"Two of them wore hazmat suits," She was still staring into space, voice wavering. "The third guy came right up to me. I'll never forget that face. Bald. Scar running down the side of his face."

"Kellogg," Ellie gasped. "He matches that description – didn't he work for the Institute?"

My head snapped up at those words. If the Institute was involved, all sorts of terrible things could happen. I didn't know what they did, other than they snatched people in the night and sometimes replaced them with synths. We were universally afraid of them, whilst also knowing nothing about them.

"He also used to live here, in the stands." Nick commented. He looked up at Ellie. "Didn't he have a kid with him? Around 10 years old?"

"That can't be Shaun," Veronica frowned. "He's just a baby, not even had a first birthday."

"You said yourself, after they took him, it went cold again. Is it not possible you were frozen for another 10 years?"

"No," Her voiced raised an octave. "No, he's a baby."

"Okay, okay," Nick didn't sound convinced, and neither was I. But who wants to be told that they may have missed ten years of their child's life? Just the thought that I hadn't seen Duncan in the couple months that I'd been in the Commonwealth drove me mad.

"So, which house did he live in?" I interjected. "Maybe we should pay a visit."

#####

A while later, we were standing outside of a rickety shack whilst Nick fumbled with the door. Veronica and I stood a little way back, watching out for security. We were high up in the stands, looking down on the rest of the settlement, so it was unlikely that we'd be caught.

"You don't have to stick around, you know." She whispered to me. "This whole thing… it's not worth 200 caps."

"No, I'll stay," I sighed. "Look, your aim is useless and if you're going after this baby-stealing dickhead, I want to be involved. You're going to need me."

She smiled a little before returning her face to its stoic default.

"This lock is impossible," Nick complained from ahead of us, and Veronica strode over, pulling a bobby bin out of her bag.

"Let me," She said, pushing one end of the pin into the lock and feeling around with the other. "I got really good at lock picking as a teen. Don't ask."

Sure enough, after a couple of seconds, the door clicked and swung open. I smirked as we began to enter. "She hacks computers, she picks locks – what can't she do?"

Inside the shack was dark, so Veronica switched her Pip Boy light on and shined it across the space. There wasn't much there besides a bed and a table. Not a single sign that anyone had ever lived here.

"Wait a minute," Nick leant under the table. "There's a button here connected to wires, running under the floor boards… to that wall."

He pushed the button and the wall to our right began to whir and hum, before sliding away to reveal and extra hidden room.

"You don't see that every day," I commented. "He must've had help setting this up."

"Piper told me that the mayor was a synth," Veronica breathed, entering the secret room. "Maybe they were both in cahoots with the Institute."

I followed her in. Shelving lined the walls, filled with food cans, Nuka Colas and Stimpaks. I grabbed a couple of the smaller things, shoving them into the many pockets I had stitched into my clothing, consciously taking extra to put in Veronica's bag. She was busy surveying the room with Nick. There was a desk in the middle, covered in empty cigar packets and beer bottles. Nick picked up a cigar and began to study it.

"This is a rare brand," He mused. "And there's some old clothing over there. If only my nose wasn't just for show, I could try to sniff him out."

It was just a joke, but Veronica's eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together loudly. "I know a dog that could help!"


	5. Dear Hearts And Gentle People

_I feel so welcome each time that I return  
That my happy heart keeps laughing like a clown  
I love those dear hearts and gentle people  
Who live and love in my home town _

**VERONICA**

After staying the night at Piper's once again, MacCready and I set off from Diamond City so that I could return to Sanctuary Hills and hopefully get help from a loyal dog. The whole thing sounded insane, but this particular dog had helped me out once before, and I was sure that he would be able to help me again. I'd packed some of Kellogg's things that we'd found – a scrap of clothing, an empty box of cigars – and wondered if it would be enough for my canine friend to pick up a scent. A tumble of butterflies hit my stomach; I was going to find the bastard that shot my husband, kidnapped my son and mocked me whilst I screamed. I was a step closer to finding my boy.

Sanctuary Hills had once been my home. It was a small collection of houses just outside the centre of Boston, located in a more rural setting. Back then, trees as tall as skyscrapers had surrounded us, with luscious hills rolling in the distance. It had been the picture-perfect place to settle down and raise a family – maybe even save my marriage. Then the bombs had fallen and laid the happy little nook to waste. Although some of the house remained, many had been torn down in the blasts, and the trees were bare and crooked. It had been the first sight to greet me after being unfrozen, since Vault 111 had been built just past the river the ran behind my house. Going back there was going to be painful but also necessary if I was going to find Shaun and… well, I didn't know how to finish that sentence anymore. The act of 'bringing him home' was now vague and scary. I no longer had a home to go to.

MacCready obviously had a lot on his mind too, because he didn't speak until we were out of the built-up area and were walking slowly through an overgrown, yellowing field.

"So…" He sighed, tapping his leg with his fingers as we strode on. "That stuff you told Nick, about being stuck in a Vault. That's… that had to be rough."

"Yeah," I tried to smile but it fell flat. "I know that, like, 200 years has gone by. But it still feels as though my old life was just a week ago. Being inside that cryo pod was like being asleep – you know that time has passed, but you just can't grasp how long."

MacCready was nodding along. He'd been so much more than I'd expected when we'd first met, and I'd only know him for a couple days now. I guess I'd originally decided that keeping everything a secret from him would keep our strange partnership on the level. I wasn't sure how it worked, hiring a gun, but I hadn't thought they'd be interested in all the little details. This guy, however, had seemed genuinely concerned about my situation and had offered to stay past his contract. What was the point in keeping things locked up now?

"When I first got out, I went straight back to my house," I recalled. "Of course, no one was home. The street was completely deserted albeit a rotting skeleton or two. I guess not everybody made it underground like I did."

"Not fun." He remarked.

"Mhmm." I agreed. "I quickly realised that the street wasn't totally abandoned. My old house bot, Codsworth, was still around. I assume that Mr Handy robots are still functioning, then? Anyway, he told me that there were people in the next town, which was all I craved at that moment. Just the knowledge that I wasn't the only woman left in the world."

I had to stop myself then, feeling a lump form in my throat. I swallowed hard and continued. "So, the next town along is Concord, and on my way I passed a Red Rocket gas station and that's when I met Dogmeat."

"Dogmeat?" MacCready flinched.

"I know," I laughed. "But I didn't name him. So, there he was, this beautiful German Shepherd, stranded in the middle of nowhere. He must've felt the same way about me, because he followed me to Concord. It was a good job too, because it turned out that the people Codsworth had told me about were hostile and armed."

"You mentioned shooting at Raiders yesterday."

"They were attacking a group of people, had them trapped in the Museum of Freedom. As soon as they saw me, I became a target too. Dogmeat got most of them and I fired a pistol for the first time. It was messy, but I ended up accidentally saving that group of people – one of which happened to be the last surviving member of the Minutemen, Preston Garvey."

MacCready scoffed. "The Minutemen are a joke! They used to be this amazing army of freedom fighters, but after the Quincy Massacre, I'm surprised anyone is still trying to uphold those ideals."

I pretended to know what he was talking about, widening my eyes in agreement. "So, there's Preston, a married couple with issues, this awesome mechanic – I think his name was Sturges? I don't know, he was nice. And then this old lady called Mama Murphy. She's totally off her rocker and high as a kite, but she told me Dogmeat's name and guessed that I'm looking for someone. I figured I should listen to the crackpot. I asked her where to start looking and she told me to go to Diamond City."

"Where you meet Piper, find out Nick is missing and decide to come crawling to me for help." MacCready finished my story with a smug grin. I punched him in the arm. "What? I'm right aren't I?"

"More or less," I breathed. "They told me they were heading to Sanctuary Hills to rebuild the houses and made it into a settlement. Dogmeat went with them, so that's why we're going there."

#####

It wasn't long before we spotted the sign for Sanctuary Hills. We rounded into the centre of my old street and I audibly gasped – where rubble had once been piled, now were the starts of new homes being built from scratch. I looked to my left and saw my house, still standing despite missing half of the rood, and had to quickly turn away. I couldn't go back there, not yet. To my right, another relatively stable house was being used as the new Minutemen hideout, and my first friend in the Commonwealth came out to greet me.

"Veronica!" He beamed. "So good to see you. And you've brought… a friend."

"Yeah, this is MacCready. He's helping with, you know, my problem. MacCready, this is Preston Garvey."

Preston was currently inspecting MacCready with slight disdain on his face, but he smiled and shook his hand none-the-less. He was still wearing his beat-up cowboy hat and his brown skin glinted with sweat. He patted his forehead with his sleeve and ushered us into the house where the others I'd met were sat on the floor by a fire. There was a couple who didn't say much and I hadn't learned their names, but I knew that the man was suffering from some sort of trauma and the woman hated my guts. Then there was Sturges, a friendly mechanic. Finally, there was Mama Murphey – she was an elderly woman addicted to Jet, some kind of new drug, who claimed to be able to see into the future. I didn't believe her… but it was on her word that I'd gone to Diamond City in the first place. She'd told me that my journey must start there.

"Like I told you before, we're rebuilding this place and turning it into a haven for anyone who needs it," Preston told me as we stood by the fire. "Also, we're dropping the 'Hills' and just calling it Sanctuary. It makes more of a punchy statement."

"So, you guys are the Minutemen?" MacCready laughed a little.

"Actually, it's only me." Preston sighed. "I'm hoping that the more I help people out here, the more likely they are to join me and start over again."

I nodded along. "I don't mean to interrupt, and it's great that you're trying to fix this world and everything. But I actually came here for Dogmeat."

"He's waiting for you, kid." Mama Murphey piped up at that point, her eyes glazed. "He's out back. He knows that he must play a part if you're ever going to find your boy."

Preston took me round the back of the house, where a small farm was developing. It looked like they were growing carrots and melons, plus some strange purple fruit I'd never seen before. In the distance I could see Codsworth, floating along and using his mechanical limbs to collect water from the river with buckets. Dogmeat was lying in a make-shift dog kennel, and came bounding over to me, wagging his tail. I picked a purple fruit from one of the trees and gave it to him, stroking his fur as he gobbled it up.

"So, what do you need him for?" Preston asked, folding his arms. "I don't mind you taking him, but it feels nice to have his protection, in case of any unwanted visitors."

"We think we can track down the man who stole Shaun," I explained, pulling some old clothing out of my bag. "This belonged to him. I thought, seeing as how good Dogmeat had been at sniffing out the Raiders, he might be able to find the bastard."

Preston raised his eyebrows and nodded. "You're making progress with your mission. I wish you all the luck I can. But are you certain about… that mercenary?"

I glanced back at the house, where I'd left MacCready with the others. "He's a good guy. I hired him for one thing, he's been paid, yet he still wants to help. Besides, I needed him."

"If I didn't already have a job here, you know I would've come with you," Preston put a hand on my shoulder. "When you've done what needs to be done and Shaun is with you again, please come back here. I want you to be a part of this."

"What, join the Minutemen?" I didn't really know what to say. "I'm not much of a fighter."

"It's as much about rebuilding the world than simply protecting it," He offered. "Just think about it, that's all I ask."

I nodded and turned to leave, but he grasped my shoulder again. "Watch out for MacCready. I know you think that he's here to help you, but he's not. He's here because he got paid and there might be more caps along the way. I know men like him. I just don't want to see you getting backstabbed."

I brushed Preston off and gave a small smile. "He tries anything, I put a bullet in his head."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

I stood awkwardly on the bridge with Dogmeat at my side as Veronica said her goodbyes. Just like in Diamond City, I'd felt eyes on me the whole time I'd been here and knew that my presence was unwanted. I couldn't blame them, really. They probably expected me to kill them all and steal their things. I wasn't that type of person, but that's what they saw when they looked at me. Just another thug. Preston didn't like me, it was obvious, but I didn't mind. As much as I'd admired the Minutemen back when they were a full army, I knew that I didn't belong with them. They were good people who wanted to save the world. I only saved things if paid to do so. The horrors I'd seen in my life had hardened me into believing two things: it was every man for himself out here, and caps were the most important resource. If I stuck by those rules, I would see Duncan again.

Veronica pulled away from a hug with Preston and I pretending to gag as she approached me. She playfully punched me on the arm – a recurring trait of hers - and leant down to give Dogmeat the clothing we'd found in Kellogg's house. The dog sniffed at the item, barked and began to paw at the ground. He then sniffed the ground, barked again and started to run across the bridge.

"I guess he has a scent," Veronica smirked, and we jogged after him.

I had expected another long, arduous journey fraught with danger, however this time it didn't take long at all. We ventured south, which did worry me a little. I knew that it got worse the further south you went in the Commonwealth – there was a bomb site down there that people called the Glowing Sea. The whole area was irradiated, to the point that standing there for too long would kill you. On the edge of the Glowing Sea, there were larger gangs of Super Mutants, Bloatflies, Bloodbugs and Radroaches. My only guess was that once you were in there, worse threats lurked.

We were nowhere near close to that God-forsaken place, but I still kept myself vigilant. Along the route, Dogmeat found several camp sites that Kellogg had appeared to stayed at, with more things for him to sniff and use to track with. Eventually, he led us to and old Fort. As we approached the main building, I heard thunder and looked up at the sky. Green clouds were forming. The acid rain would be here soon.

"Quick, find an entrance!" I yelled at Veronica, and she too looked up at the sky.

"What is that?" She gasped.

"It's a Radiation Storm. They're more common the further south we go. Just hurry up and look for a way in before the rain starts."

"Okay," She sounded shaky, but nevertheless began to circle the building. Every door was barred or caved in. She glanced at her Pip Boy. It was ticking. "My rad meter is going crazy."

"I know, if we stay out here we'll get radiation poisoning."

Veronica winced, then pointed past my shoulder towards the side of the Fort. "A fire escape."

"Sure, let's get closer to the storm," I huffed sarcastically, and we started to run up the metal steps. We clanged loudly and I grimaced at the sound and lack of subtlety. Still, once we reached the roof, there was a door leading into the Fort. Veronica picked the lock, snapping her first bobby pin but getting open with the second, and we dived into the building, slamming the door behind us.

"I feel sick," She groaned.

"Yeah, the rads will do that. How bad was the reading?"

She looked at her Pip Boy. "However much that is. The needle is still pretty low."

"We'll need some Radaway when we're done here." I said, and she shrugged at me. "It's, like, medicine for radiation?"

"Fair enough." Then her eyes widened and she lifted a hand to her mouth. "Where's Dogmeat?!"

I looked back at the door behind us and winced. "He's still out there."

Veronica made for the handle, but I stopped her. "We need to get him out of that storm!"

"He was a stray before you found him," I reasoned. "These storms happen. He'll be okay."

She seemed to calm down a little bit. "Okay. So… I guess we're here then."

I looked around. We had opened up into an abandoned office space. It was too dark to see much, so Veronica switched on her Pip Boy light and we began to make our way through. There was nowhere to go but down, so we made our way to the staircase.

"Ladies first," I sang, and we began to descend. "I think he'll be as far down as possible. Fort's like this have huge underground expansions. Great hiding places."

"We just keep searching till we find him," She was staring at the floor. Her face was stern, unmoving. I wanted to tell her things would be okay, but I didn't want to give her false hope. From what Nick had told us, this guy was tough. I knew the fight would be difficult – but we had the advantage. He didn't know we were coming.

Down the staircase was another huge room, even darker than the last one. As we moved forward, I heard a whirring noise.

"Stop," I whispered, crouching. Veronica followed suit, pulling her pistol out of its holster. "I heard something."

"Sensors detect movement." A faint, robotic voice came from the corner. I squinted to see, the light from the Pip Boy only shining so far. Something was moving towards us. As it got closer, I began to see the silhouette of a person… a person holding a gun. It got closer until finally I saw what it was.

A first-generation synth. The shape of a human-being, but completely wires and frame. If Nick didn't have his grey skin-like face, this would be what he would look like. A metal skeleton. The synth saw us and raised its gun towards me. "Intruders."

Veronica shot first, hitting its shoulder and knocking the gun from its claw-like hand. It turned to her, and she bashed the butt of her gun into its head, crushing it to pieces.

"Whoa," I raised my brows at her. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," She breathed, picking up the gun it had dropped. "What is this?"

"A laser rifle," I admired. "Pretty cool, actually!"

"Shut up and get ready," Her new confidence was shining through her as she grabbed some ammo in the form of fusion cells from the dead synth. "I can almost guarantee there will be more of them."

If ever we'd needed confirmation that the Institute really was behind the kidnapping, the journey through this base was it. We travelled further and further down, and every single floor had at least five Gen 1 synths waiting for us. Some had laser rifles, other shock batons, but we destroyed every one of them, taking their ammo as we went. I felt a little pride in my chest watching Veronica – she was finally good at shooting! As it turned out, synths were much easier to kill in any case, considering they weren't alive to begin with. Gen 1 synths were just machines; not quite as advanced as Nick and nowhere near the level of their cousins who were slowly replacing humanity.

We must've been eight floors down when we came across what look like an old lab. There was a laser turret on the ceiling that I quickly dispatched before it had a chance to fire at us. This place seemed like a dead end at first glance. There was a door filled in with rubble to our left, a closet filled with beakers next to that, and a strange metal door that seemed to be keeping its contents tightly concealed with a mag lock. A computer stood nearby, so I assumed it would open with the right password.

Veronica rushed past me, not noticing this intriguing door, and pointed to the far end. "An elevator! It's working too – Kellogg must've turned the power on in here."

"Sure," I replied, uneasy about being in a small elevator that could potentially malfunction. "But check this out first."

She frowned at me, having already pressed the call button, and bounded back towards the computer. She began to type away without saying a word and I found myself impressed yet again. She had so many skills. After a moment, I heard the mag lock click and I pulled hard on the heavy door. The inside made me giddy like a kid in a candy shop.

There were shelves lined with weapons, ammo, stimpaks and tinned food – just like the stash we'd found in Kelloggs house. I even spotted an old army duffle bag and began to fill it with a shotgun and shells. "Grab as much as you can, I'll carry this on my back."

"This is a stock pile!" Veronica grimaced. "Kellogg must really mean business. Is it weird that seeing all this stuff makes me kind of happy? I mean, a few days ago I was totally against violence. But then some murdering, child-snatching psycho is waiting for us somewhere in this Fort so… fuck it."

I studied her as she began to throw fusion cells into the bag, trying to capture some hint of sadness in her eyes. What I got instead was the burning intensity of revenge. I made a mental note to keep an eye on that – it was easy for folk to turn that revenge into a career.

We finished up and headed into the elevator but noticed that it only went up. I shrugged. "Maybe I was wrong about him being in the basement?"

We hit the button to the next floor and were once again greeted by synths, but this time we had more to throw at them. Literally. I tossed a grenade in their direction and whooped as it did the job quite effectively. Veronica beamed at me and we began to climb higher into the building now. It was when we got to the highest floor that the voice started to boom all around us.

 _If it isn't my old friend, the frozen TV dinner. Last time we met, you were cozying up to the peas and apple cobbler._

"Kellogg?" Veronica began to look around, frantically searching for a source to the voice. I pointed up at the speakers above us and she let a sob out of her throat. We continued to walk forwards, following the corridor round.

 _Sorry your house has been a wreck for two hundred years, but I don't need a roommate. Leave._

We ignored the voice, but I could see Veronica starting to shake. I knew that the last time she will have heard him, her family was torn apart. I wanted to grab her hand, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

 _Never expected you to come knocking on my door. Gave you 50/50 odds of making it to Diamond City. After that? Figured the Commonwealth would chew you up like jerky. Look, you're pissed off. I get it, I do. But whatever you hope to accomplish in here? It is not going to go your way._

Veronica's fists balled up now, and her mouth curled into a snarl. There was a door ahead of us, with two cameras pointing in our direction. So much for the element of surprise.

 _You've got guts and determination, and that's admirable. But you are in over your head in ways you can't possibly comprehend. It's not too late. Stop. Turn around and leave. You have that option. Not a lot of people can say that._

She threw open the door, only to be greeted by yet another empty room. Another door ahead.

 _Okay, you made it. I'm just up ahead. My synths are standing down. Let's talk._


	6. An Orange Coloured Sky

_I was walking along, minding my business  
When love came and hit me in the eye  
Flash, bam, alakazam  
Out of an orange coloured sky_

 **VERONICA**

"And here she is, the most resilient woman in the Commonwealth."

I lingered in the doorway, taking in the sight before me as Kellogg finished his speech. He was older than I remembered, but the long, jagged scar that split his face in two was still as prominent and ugly as ever. His eyes were sagging and tired-looking, and his lips were pressed into a thin line, wrinkled from cigar abuse. He wore thick armour everywhere but his bald head and held a small pistol by his side. Four synths guarded him, all pointing their laser rifles at me and MacCready. A few desks were scattered around the room, computer monitors smashed and files papering the floor. I darted my eyes across the space, looking for easy ways out – to my left, there was a nook in the wall and behind Kellogg there was a potential exit.

"Well, come on in," Kellogg always sounded like he was growling. I walked forward as he beckoned, stopping a few steps away. "You wanted to meet so badly, so talk."

I tried my best not to look shaken, lifting the laser rifle I'd stolen to my chest, but I couldn't stop the stutter in my voice. "Where's Shaun? Where did you take him?"

"So, I guess we're skipping the how-do-you-do's." The old man snickered, apparently finding this whole event amusing. "Shaun's a good kid. Maybe a little older than you were expecting. But I'm afraid say, you came all the way out here for nothing. He's not with me."

Older than I was expecting? My mind raced back to when Nick had told me the possibility of Shaun being ten, but I hadn't wanted to believe him. I considered how I'd been refrozen after he was taken, trying to contemplate the time that may have passed before I was awoken again. This confirmed my fears, that I'd missed seeing him grow up. But at least I knew that he was still alive.

"Okay," I breathed, feeling MacCready step beside me. "Just tell me where he is, and I will leave you alone."

Kellogg let out a hollow chuckle. "Oh, you'll leave me alone? I admire your confidence, I really do, so I'll let you in on this. Shaun is happy and safe, somewhere he is loved and taken care of. He's with the Institute."

The words burned into my skull and I felt a surge of anger burst through my eyes. "And where is that exactly?"

"No one gets into the Institute." Kellogg sighed. "But I guess I can't say I'm surprised by your attitude. You're acting as any parent should – as I probably would, in your shoes."

"How can you be so… so uncaring?!" I spat, unable to control my temper now. "You shot my husband. You're a murderer!"

"That was regrettable, yes." Kellogg pursed his lips. "He was being uncooperative. We only needed the child."

"He was protecting his son!"

He raised his pistol now, lining it up with my head. "I think we've talked long enough. We both know how this ends; the question is, are you ready?"

The next few seconds seemed to happen in slow motion – before I could even aim my rifle, Kellogg had fired. At the same time, I felt a harsh push on my arm as MacCready ploughed into me, knocking me to the ground painfully… and taking the bullet in my place.

"Bastard!" I yelled, scooping myself up and taking cover in the nook I'd noticed earlier, avoiding the storm of lasers that now came from the synths. I jerked my head towards where MacCready had landed; he was pushing himself up, clutching his arm which trickled with blood. The lasers were missing him, but only just. I wanted to scream at him. We locked eyes and he shrugged the bag from his shoulders, throwing it over to me before beginning to shoot the synths. I knew I didn't have much time – his aim would be compromised with an injured arm.

Desperation clawed at my mind as I tried to work out how to get us both out of here. I took a chance and poked my head around the corner of the nook to see what Kellogg was doing – he seemed to be packing a bag of his own, assuming that the synths would take care of us. I growled at his callousness. A noise came from the door behind him, and it looked as though someone was trying to punch their way through from the outside. Suddenly, it burst open and I watched in awe as Dogmeat charged into the room, immediately locking his jaw around Kellogg's right leg. A new sense of hope surged through me and I laughed out loud. "Good boy!"

I reached into the bag that MacCready had thrown at me, pulled out the first thing I touched – the shot gun – and threw myself back into the action. Three synths were down and MacCready was in a firing match with the fourth. Even with a bullet wound he was a good shot and could dodge the blue streams of energy as they flew at him. Dogmeat was still clutching at Kellogg's leg, ragging it back and fourth with his sharp teeth. The older man saw me walking towards him and raised his pistol again, cursing as his body was tugged around, preventing a good aim. He fired at me a couple of times but missed by inches.

Instinctively, I knew what to do. It might've meant sacrificing my one chance to learn more information about the Institute, but I had no other choice. The fourth synth was down, but so was MacCready. The man before me had so much armour – but as I'd observed beforehand, none covering his head or face. I cocked the shot gun and brought it up so that I could look down the sight. My target was moving, but I was close enough that it didn't matter too much. I gulped… and squeezed the trigger.

BAM.

My whole body shook with the recoil and I dropped the gun in horror, hands flying to my mouth. I'd done it. I'd killed the man that had killed Nate. I was so close to him when I'd fired, his entire head had exploded, decorating the floor in a ghastly dark red. Dogmeat had yelped at the noise and ran to the side of the room.

MacCready coughed behind me. I blinked myself out of the trance that I'd almost fallen into and ran over, kneeling beside him. He was pushing around in one of his many coat pockets, eventually pulling out a syringe and plunging it into his arm. The label on the side of the tube read 'stimpak'. A sigh of relief passed through his lips and he laughed as he looked at me.

"That fu-… I mean, that really hurt!" He wheezed. "Just got to pluck the bullet out and wrap my arm in something. Give me that scrap of clothing."

Dazed, I dropped the cloth that Dogmeat had used to get us here onto MacCready's lap, and he began to push his fingers into the wound, wincing as he did so.

"Why did you do that, you idiot?" I breathed.

"I've done this a tonne of times," he grimaced, slowly extracting the bullet, more blood oozing as a result. "The stimpak makes this feel like a tickle."

"I mean, why did you push me out of the way?"

He flicked the bullet away and looked up at me, expression dark. "Shaun needs his mother to be alive."

I couldn't argue with that, but still, something niggled at the back of my mind. All this talk about 'every man for himself' and he so easily sacrifices his life for someone he's just met? I shoved the thought to the back of my head and watched in silence as he bandaged himself up. Dogmeat sat beside us and I stroked the good doggy, grateful for his intervention.

I most certainly would've died if hadn't been for these two crazy tag-alongs.

After a few minutes, I helped him up and we were soon standing over Kellogg's messy corpse. I couldn't look at what I'd done, so MacCready was the one to dig around in his pockets for anything we might need.

"What's this?" He muttered, holding something shiny in his fingers. "It was… it was in his brain."

I took a deep breath and ventured a look at what he was holding. It looked like a miniature circuit board, but still had a piece of flesh handing from the end. I gagged and turned away. "Maybe he wasn't completely human."

"Well, Nick might know a bit more. Let's show him."

MacCready wrapped the item up in a piece of paper from the floor and pocketed it. We made our way to the door that Dogmeat had knocked open and stepped out onto a balcony, feeling the cool air of the afternoon. Stairs spiralled down to the ground below. Glancing around, I saw that we had moved from the main building we'd entered, into one that sat beside it, most likely through an underground system like MacCready had first suggested. I then looked up to the sky, noticing that the Radiation Storm had passed whilst we were inside, leaving an orange hue in the air.

Something else caught in my peripheral vision and I turned further right – and what I saw gave me a complete shock.

A huge, grey zeppelin was sailing in the distance, searchlights scanning the ground below. I stared at it in disbelief. "What the hell is that?"

MacCready groaned, stretching his bad arm. "Ugh, it's a Brotherhood of Steel airship. I knew them way back when they were something good. Now they're just technology scavengers who don't care who's toes they step on."

"A brotherhood?" I frowned, and we began to descend the stairs.

"An army." MacCready corrected. "They wear massive suits of power armour and go around taking what they want. Never used to be their way. I mean, they're not _evil_ as such, just a bunch of entitled di-… uh, douchebags."

I took a mental note of the way MacCready had stopped himself from swearing twice now. He kept on surprising me.

#####

 **MACCREADY**

Veronica hadn't seemed herself since we'd left the Fort. I couldn't even imagine what she was going through right now, being so close to getting some answers only to be presented with more questions. Kellogg had told her that Shaun was in the Institute, but no one knew where that was, never mind how to get in there. Our only plan was to head back to Nick and tell him what happened; maybe his detective skills could pick up on something we hadn't? So, we slowly made our way back to Diamond City, stopping only to hunt Radstag or Brahmin. Her aim was ever improving, but I didn't dare tell her so. With every kill, her eyes got darker. I knew that feeling all too well and, boy, was that a slippery slope.

"I'm ten years too late." She suddenly croaked, her voice only moments away from breaking. "He won't know who I am. He'll have new parents. He won't want to come with me."

I didn't know what to say, so stupidly I replied with a cliché. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

She nodded, most likely unconvinced, and we strolled along.

"Ten years, though," She pressed. "A lot can happen in that time."

I smirked. "You don't have to tell me that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, ten years ago, I was this skinny little twelve-year-old." I chuckled at the memory of my child-self, all limbs and bravado.

Veronica's eyes widened. "You're only twenty-two?"

"Yeah, I know," I scrunched my nose up. "The Wasteland is unforgiving. That's where I come from – the Capital Wasteland. You'll know it better as Washington DC, I guess. Back there, at twelve years of age, I was somehow the mayor of a settlement called Little Lamplight. Now look at me!"

"That's ridiculous," Veronica smiled, and I was glad to see her happy again. For some reason.

"I'm one hundred percent telling the truth. The whole place was run by kids like me, and we had elections. I was mayor for a little while, I swear to God. At age sixteen, you were considered a Mungo – and adult – and were kicked out. Adults caused the war, adults became raiders or worse, so we couldn't trust them."

"What about your parents?" She asked.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I don't remember them. I only remember Little Lamplight. It was a series of caves and tunnels built underground by hand, with rope bridges and dirt tracks. It was built next to a Vault, probably by whoever had once lived there, but by then the Vault was completely overrun by Super Mutants. We didn't know that that's what they were at the time, so we just called them monsters."

Something clicked in my memory and I smiled at Veronica's jumpsuit. "Someone came by once, a Mungo in a costume just like yours. He was probably just a kid too, thinking back, but he was over sixteen and couldn't be trusted. I can't remember why, but I decided to let him in, and he cleared out the monsters for us. I think that's why I feel like I can trust you. Vault Dwellers seem to have this uncanny ability to make everyone's lives better."

We stopped now and she looked me in the eyes quizzically, before softening into a small smile. Her auburn hair flickered slightly in the breeze. I returned the look with my own smirk, and we stayed like that for a little while, locked in each other's eyes. I didn't know what was happening but it felt nice. Eventually, she broke the link and we carried on walking. My stomach filled with butterflies and a familiar ache came over me – it had been like this the first time with Lucy. Ashamed at myself, I tried to ignore what I was feeling.

"So, you got too old for Little Lamplight," She ventured. "Then what?"

I could've told her everything. I wanted to tell her everything. But if I'd learned one lesson out here, it was to keep your demons close. I only hesitated for a few seconds before shrugging. "I hitched a ride with a caravan to the Commonwealth, joined the Gunners, which was a big mistake. I quit and became a gun-for-hire. Now, here I am."

I could tell that she wasn't totally buying it, but there was no lie in my words. Sure, I'd omitted a couple of truths, but they weren't important. We all had our burdens to bear.

After a little while, I saw a partially erected highway in the distance. As we approached, a feeling of dread washed over me. "Veronica… where are we?"

"Huh?"

"What does your thingy say?"

"Um…" She shook her Pip Boy to life and clicked into the map. "We're just coming up to Mass Pike Interchange. Why?"

My body stiffened and I gestured for her to stop. "We need to go around. We're heading into Gunner territory."

"Who are the Gunners?"

"You remember those friends of mine you saw when we first met?" I grimaced. "This is their base. I used to work for them. I only had one skill which was being able to shoot really well, so I joined them for a while. But it turned out that they were animals – they killed without conscious, tearing down families. Children, even. It didn't matter to them, so long as they got paid. I left without notice and they've been hunting me down ever since."

Veronica gritted her teeth. "So that's why you've been watching over your shoulder since we left Goodneighbor."

"Yeah, I guess it is." I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Look, if they see me, they'll kill me. But they might do worse to you."

She sucked in a breath and nodded slowly. I felt relief pass through my body – she was looking at her map again. Hopefully she was planning a new route around. But instead, she lifted her laser rifle and cocked her head to one side. "If we don't deal with them now, they'll eventually find you again."

"What, you want to kill them all?" I laughed, nervously.

She didn't even crack a smile. "If it gets them off your back, why the hell not? One less problem for us to deal with."


	7. A Wonderful Guy

_I am in a conventional dither  
With a conventional star in my eye  
And you will note there's a lump in my throat  
When I speak of that wonderful guy_

 **MACCREADY**

I knew that what we were doing was completely insane, but I somehow felt confident enough to go through with it. My arm didn't hurt too much since taking the stimpak and I had more on me if required. My only worry was that we might not have enough fire power. We were crouched on the ground, sorting through the contents of the bag we'd stashed in the Fort. So far, we counted three laser pistols, one shot gun, one hunting rifle and two grenades. There was some ammo for each weapon, but not a lot. We also still had our own guns in the form of my sniper and her pistol.

"Okay, so we definitely need a plan before we go up there," I advised as we stood up.

"Up there?" Veronica squinted at the highway ahead of us. It had crumbled at one end and collapsed at the other, meaning that the only way up was using an old maintenance lift that sat below. It looked sad and misplaced in the wasteland that surrounded it - dirt, odd patches of grass and the occasional boulder.

"Yeah, up there." I sighed. "There'll be at least two people guarding the lift. We dispatch them quickly and quietly – my sniper should do the trick. We tell Dogmeat to stay here - whatever we do, we do NOT want to alert the guys on top. They have an Assaultron."

"Assaultron…" Veronica snapped her fingers. "Why do I know that name? I feel like I've heard Nate talk about them."

"If he was in the army, pre-war, then you will have. They were used as first-line defence and are extremely difficult to kill. But it won't take long for it to completely obliterate us, so we need to attack first."

She was biting her lip, absentmindedly stroking Dogmeats head. I thought that perhaps she was regretting her decision by now, so I touched her shoulder gently and looked into her eyes.

"We don't go if you don't want to."

She shook her head. "No, I want to. I want you to feel safe again."

Whoa… those words hit me like a blast of Psycho. I patted her shoulder to show my appreciation and hoped to God that my face hadn't gone as red as it felt.

She told Dogmeat to sit and stay, to which he cocked his head to one side and whined. We approached a grassy dip in the ground and I signalled for Veronica to lay down beside me and keep quiet. Just ahead, a few kilometres in the distance, two burly men in green Gunner uniforms were leaning against the lift, smoking and laughing. I snarled at their presence, already feeling that pinch of hatred. I aimed my sniper as carefully as I could, taking in a slow, deep breath. I wasn't just trying to show off anymore, like I had when we were dealing with Skinny Malone's Triggermen. I had to be precise.

I squeezed the trigger and hit one of the men in the neck, taking him down. The other jumped up in surprise and began to look around to find where the shot had come from, so I quickly lined him up and killed him too. I looked up at the highway above them – no movement. Part one of the plan was over.

"What now?" Veronica whispered next to me. I rolled onto my back and began to pick myself up.

"We go up the lift, locate the Assaultron as fast as we can and toss a grenade at it," We jogged across to the lift now. "If we're lucky, that'll kill it straight away and we can just deal with the seven or eight men up there – including Winlock and Barnes."

"And if we're not lucky?"

"It'll blast a solid mass of energy from its face and we'll be incinerated in seconds."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Veronica plastered on a smile and whacked the button on the lift as we stepped onto it. "Let's go say hello, then."

As we neared the top, I gripped the grenade in my hand tightly. One wrong move and this was going to go horribly wrong. I had a sudden urge to tell Veronica to stop, go to Diamond City, leave this to me – but it was too late. Her life was now in my hands, all because of a stupid decision I'd made to join an immoral group of killers. The lift finally clicked into position, so I ripped the pin out of the grenade and frantically searched the highway for the Assaultron.

There it was – luckily quite far from us and standing next to Barnes. Three other men stood a little way off, chatting by a fire pit. I had no time to consider the consequences so I launched the grenade at them and pulled Veronica down to duck and cover.

The explosion rattled in my ears, and I looked up, trying to see through the dust. I'd heard men scream and could now see body parts splattered along the road. Barnes was dead. But the Assaultron wasn't. It was running towards us now, a humanoid robot with spinning claws for hands, outstretched as if longing for a deadly hug. Where a face should've been, it instead had a laser cannon. Veronica screamed and I pulled her up, urging her to press the button and go back down the lift. She was shaking her head at me, refusing to save herself. I could see the Assaultron's red face charging up, ready to fire at any second – I lifted my rifle up quickly and shot at its legs five times.

On the sixth shot I managed to tear one leg away, and the beast fell to the ground. It was still trying to crawl towards us though, so I hurried Veronica out of the lift and towards a concrete traffic divider that had been left behind since the war. She sat behind it and pulled out her laser rifle, whispering under her breath. I shot at the Assaultron a couple more times, but still it crawled towards us. More Gunners had come out from their tents at this point and were running towards us, firing their weapons in our direction. Winlock was amongst them, shouting something obscene at me that I didn't care to listen to. I continued to shoot at the mechanical menace dragging itself closer to us. Too much was happening, too much was at stake - a familiar panic washed over me. In the corner of my eye, I could see Veronica was firing her laser gun at the men, sometimes hitting them. I tried to calm myself - I couldn't let her see me falter. I never faltered.

She began to hit me on the arm so I turned around; she was holding up the second grenade. I grabbed it without a word, pulled the pin and threw it towards the Assaultron. The remaining Gunners that had been heading towards us now tried to stop, turn away, run for their lives – but it was too late. I sat behind the barricade with Veronica, fingers in our ears, as the second blast went off.

We were too close to it this time. I felt my body fly forward and my vision went black.

#####

 **VERONICA**

There was a loud ringing in my ears and a throbbing pain in my head. I could feel pavement beneath me; tiny stones pressed into my cheek and palms as I laid there, slowly feeling my body come back from unconsciousness. I tried to open my eyes but they were heavy and my eyelids stuck together. Even as I managed to prize them open, my vision was blurred and unfocussed. Second by second, they adjusted to my surroundings and the pain in my head intensified. I carefully moved my arms and propped myself up, turning my whole body so that I was sitting. Pieces of concrete fell from my hair.

A groan came from beside me as MacCready followed suit, picking himself up and rubbing his eyes. I felt relief wash over me knowing that he was still in one piece, and I outstretched my arm to place a comforting hand on his knee. He put his own hand on mine after some hesitation.

"Are you hurt?" His voice was pained.

"Just my entire body, no biggie," I joked. We began to help each other up. I noticed his arm was bleeding again underneath the make-shift bandages.

As we turned towards the maintenance lift, I glanced past the divider we'd been hiding behind and saw all of the bodies littering the highway. The Assaultron was in a mangled heap, sparks still flashing from its joints. Every single Gunner had been taken down in the explosion and we were lucky that we hadn't too. We had been on the outskirts of the blast, protected a little by the concrete barricade. I shuddered to think what could have happened.

"I can't believe we actually did it," MacCready wheezed as the lift took us back down to the ground. "I don't think you realise what this means. The Gunners are still out there, obviously, but the ones that were hounding me and chasing me down? They're gone and they're never going to bother me again. No more death threats. I can sleep better now."

I patted him on the back as we hit the ground. Dogmeat came running over to us, barking happily. "I'm glad to be of service. But don't you think the others will retaliate?"

"They don't know about me and there's nothing tying me up to what happened here," He shrugged. We began to walk towards Diamond City. "Just… thank you. For helping me do this. No one has ever done anything like that for me before."

Something about his tone caught me off guard. When we'd first met, he'd only seemed interested in caps and showing off his skills – as time wore on, I found myself seeing more in him, and I enjoyed his company. A sudden thought popped into my head and I immediately felt ashamed. I had thought about how MacCready had saved my life back in the Fort and it made me feel warm. I cursed inwardly at myself; Nate had just been killed, I should've been grieving. I was grieving, just not in the way a wife grieves for her husband. I had loved him once, a long time ago, but out marriage was failing. I would always care about Nate, sure. He was my first love. Things change, though, and I could feel myself being pulled towards MacCready and his cocky charm.

But he was twenty-two. He was so much younger than me.

"I guess I'm just grateful I met you," He was still saying, making my turmoil worse.

"The road can be a lonely place," I offered, choosing my words carefully. "You just have to find the right person to share it with."

I saw him stiffen at that, and his eyes widened. "I'd never thought of it that way. Look, I know I can come off as arrogant and like I want to be left alone, but nothing could be further from the truth."

He stopped now, rubbing his forehead, eyes searching the ground. "Being alone scares me. I don't really know how to say this, so I'll just come out with it. Having you around reminds me of what it's like to have someone you can depend on. It's… nice."

I chuckled. He smirked back at me – it was kind of cute. Oh God, I had to stop thinking of him in that way. I didn't know the guy, not really. He was a complete stranger and he was only here because I paid him 200 caps to pop bullets into people's heads! I didn't even know his first name. I decided to ask him.

"So, do I just keep calling you by your surname, or can we get a little formal?" I punched him on the arm, softly.

"Oh…" He looked sheepish. "Well, I guess there's no harm in telling you."

"What is it then?"

"…Robert. Robert Joseph MacCready, reporting for duty." He flashed a goofy smile and gave a half-assed salute. "I don't normally tell my contracts. Helps to distance myself, in case of… you know."

I blushed a little. "Yeah, I think I do."

We smiled at each other, holding our gaze a little bit longer than normal, until he shoved a fist into his pocket and began rifling around. "I'm going to give you your caps back. You've done me a huge favour just now, so that makes us even."

"But…" I stuttered. "Does this mean you're going back to Goodneighbor?"

"Hell no! I told you, I'm sticking around until we get your son back."

I nodded at him gratefully, embarrassed by my momentary lapse. He tried to put the caps into my hand but I refused him. "Please, keep it."

He frowned at me, which turned into a grin. "Okay, boss. Let's keep moving."


	8. It's A Man

**_Before we begin, those of you who are following this story may have noticed several emails come through - somehow, there was a missing chapter earlier in the story. If you wish to reread from the start, I would recommend, otherwise the missing chapter is now uploaded, labelled as "Anything Goes". Sorry for the inconvenience._**

* * *

 _If it acts just like it's the boss_  
 _When it knows that you are, of course_  
 _If it gets a little rough, thinks it's very tough_  
 _It's a man_

 **VERONICA**

The trip back to Diamond City was relatively easy and mostly free of dangers, with the exception of the occasional Bloatfly (nothing helps to conquer a silly fear of tiny insects like a giant, mutated fly launching gunk at you). The sun was going down slowly as we strolled along and we ended up discussing our journey thus far. I was uncomfortable with how long it had been since I'd been unfrozen, therefore how long I hadn't been without Shaun, but MacCready really had a knack for cheering me up. He reminded me that Shaun was somewhere safe where he was being looked after and I instantly felt a little better. Unfortunately, the anxiety still knotted in my shoulders and neck, adding to the already aching bones I'd received from the grenade blast. On top of that, my increasing and alarming feelings for the mercenary plagued my thoughts.

Once we hit Diamond City, I allowed myself to breathe a bit easier. Nick wasn't alone when we made our way back to his office; Piper was stood over him as he sat at his desk, both hands in her pockets and a distressed look on her face. As we entered, her expression melted into a toothy grin and she ran over to me.

"Blue!" She exclaimed. "Glad to see you survived. How are my two favourite gun slingers?"

"Battered and bruised." MacCready replied, gesturing to his bullet wound. "Does anyone mind if I head out to see a doc about this hole in my arm?"

"Oh God, sorry," I bit my lip. "I'll meet you at the noodle stand."

He nodded and left the office, Dogmeat at his heel. Piper tipped her hat slightly and screwed her face up at him. "Mercenaries, huh? It's all about them."

"He _was_ shot," I laughed at her. "Leave him alone… he's not all bad."

She pulled another face and I took the seat opposite Nick, who hadn't said a word to me yet. He was reading a case file but dropped it and waved at me. "The warrior returns. Did the mutt help you find Kellogg?"

"We found him, alright," I grimaced. "He's dead. I… I killed him."

"Whoa, now that's a headline!" Piper grinned. "Angry mother takes down notorious Institute errand boy."

"That's some feat," Nick agreed. "The Commonwealth is a safer place without him around. You didn't happen to get more information out of him before sending him to sleep, did you?"

I bit my lip again and began to fiddle with my holster – a nervous habit I'd picked up in this new world. "Sort of. Shaun is still alive, at least. Nick, you were right, he's ten now. I can't believe I was so stupid."

"Don't blame yourself, Blue," Piper touched my shoulder. "None of this is your fault."

"I know," I lied. Guilt ate at me silently. "Kellogg told me that he's at the Institute, as we suspected. I still don't know a way in, though. Or where it is. Although…"

I reached into my satchel and pulled out the circuitry we'd found in Kellogg's brain and unwrapped it on the desk. "This was in his brain. I don't know what this means other than perhaps he'd been enhanced in some way?"

"Brain…" Nick mused, poking at the item with a metal finger. "I know a scientist who works with brains. She might be able to figure this one out, maybe even do a test on this fleshy bit hanging on the end."

"Ew Nick, gross!" Piper wretched.

I, on the other hand, was becoming desensitised to gore such as this. "Who is she?"

"Dr Amari of Goodneighbor. She works at a placed called The Memory Den. She uses machines to access a person's subconscious so that they may relive past memories. It's an alternative to getting drunk or high."

"It's a start," I forced a smile and stood up. "Take me there straight away."

"It's getting dark, don't you want to rest first?"

"No."

Piper pulled me into a hug. "Good luck, guys. I'm going to head home and do some more… research."

#####

We ate noodles until MacCready showed up, his arm stitched and gauzed, ready to face another day. He grabbed a cup to go and all three of us set off for Goodneighbor, leaving Dogmeat behind with Piper. Apparently, she'd been with Nick trying to get information on my case in order to write another article for her paper – my interview had really piqued interest in Diamond City, and times were hard. She needed the bottle caps. I couldn't really blame her for snooping if it meant putting food on the table for herself and Nat.

The journey we were taking now was becoming increasingly familiar. My life in post-apocalyptic Boston seemed to converge on the town of Goodneighbor. Coming back here, I remembered the way it was fenced off between alley ways, all barbed wire and wood. I was amazed at the difference in security measures compared to Diamond City – there were no guards circling the perimeter and walking in was as easy as opening a door. Once inside, however, men with guns stood at various points, watching your every move. When I'd first come here, I'd kept my head down and done what I'd come to do, so now I took my time to look around.

The whole town used to be known as Scollay Square back before the war and it featured the State House as well as an old subway station – now known as the Third Rail, where I'd met and hired MacCready. As soon as you stepped in, the State House was to the left and two stores were dead ahead – one was named 'Killed or Be Killed', the other 'Daisy's Discounts'. As we walked towards the alley way that would take us past them, MacCready pulled my shoulder towards the latter shop.

"You mind if I go in there? It will only take a minute."

"Sure thing," Nick replied, and we began to follow him.

"You guys don't have to come…" He began, trailing off when he realised we weren't going to leave him. I side-glanced at Nick, and he shrugged at me.

The store was small and the front wall was completely missing, although I was starting to see that trend in most buildings in the Commonwealth. There was just enough room for us to stand in front of the counter; an old pram occupied the rest of the space, filled with goods. The sight of it made my heart jolt. Behind the counter was a woman, with her back to us, humming along to the radio in a gravelly voice. MacCready slapped his hand on the counter loudly.

"Well, if it isn't the beautiful Daisy, in the flesh!" He called out.

In the flesh – the irony wasn't lost on me. As the woman turned to face us, I gasped and recoiled. Her skin was mostly gone with only pieces still hanging, peeling from her body. Her eyes were sunken and dark, hair sporadic, and I could see parts of her skull. She looked as though she was decomposing, like a walking corpse.

"MacCready!" She cried, pulling him into a hug. Her voice was like sandpaper. She looked me up and down and tutted. "What's your problem, Smoothskin? Never seen a Ghoul before?"

"Uh, no." I admitted, wincing. "I'm sorry, I didn't… uh, I don't…"

"Relax, I'm just joshing!" She laughed and it sounded like a dying breath. "If I had a bottle cap for every time I got a funny look, I'd have no need to run this place."

I smiled weakly and glanced at MacCready, who looked amused. He smirked at me and poured bottle caps onto the counter. "The usual, please."

"Anything for my best customer," Daisy counted the caps out and put them into a box. He didn't seem to receive anything for them but we left the store anyway.

Once we'd left, we continued past the stores and past the Third Rail, towards a building with red double doors and a sign that said 'The Memory Den'. I kicked MacCready and glared at him.

"You could've warned me!"

"Sorry!" He frowned, rubbing his leg. "I forget you haven't seen everything yet."

"Is she diseased?"

Nicked laughed shortly and MacCready shook his head, trying to hide his smile. "No, but you two will have a lot in common. She's also pre-war, all Ghouls are. Most people that didn't make it into a Vault died when the bombs hit – others mutated. That's what a Ghoul is. They're pretty much immortal."

My jaw dropped at all of that information. I wanted to ask more questions, but as I glanced around, I saw that the majority of the security and residents had the same affliction, and a couple of them were eyeing me angrily.

"Yeah, don't make your disgust too obvious," Nick noted. "It's bad enough that they're cast out of most places. They don't need you gawking."

I thought back to the way Mayor McDonough had greeted me at the gates of Diamond City. He'd told me I was the right 'material' for his settlement. My skin crawled as I realised the segregation that was implied. Daisy had seemed nice enough though, and she obviously had a soft spot for MacCready. I elbowed him now.

"So, why did you give her a load of caps and not get anything in return?" I asked.

He sighed and practically whispered, "That's a story for another day."

"Go on, you can tell me." I insisted.

"Just drop it."

"But-"

"Drop it!" He barked, shoving ahead of me. Nick and I exchanged glances and I felt a seed of annoyance bubble in my gut.

Inside the Memory Den there were six pods that looked an awful lot like my cryogenic chamber, only reclined and with monitors inside them. A couple were occupied, the people inside apparently sleeping. The room itself was large with a scuffed wooden floor and dusty purple drapes hanging on the walls. Ahead of us, a sultry and scantily clad woman laid across a couch, smoking a cigarette. Her eyes lit up as we walked towards her.

"Irma," Nick began. "Is Dr Amari in practise today?"

"She's round back, sugar," The woman, Irma, just oozed sex appeal. I tried not to look at MacCready, wondering if he was staring at her chest as it spilled out of her night gown. What kind of place was this? "And MacCready, this must be my lucky day. Who is this fine specimen?"

"I'm Veronica," I offered, waving a little. "You own this place?"

"Does anyone really own anything?" She purred, not really answering my question. "It's a place where folks from all walks of life can come and… relax."

I noted her tone and gritted my teeth. Nick ushered me to one side and apologised. "I promise this is the right place. Now come on, Amari is back here."

We descended a flight of stairs and I whispered to MacCready. "So, have you 'relaxed' here during your stay?"

"I don't have any memories I want to look back on," He replied, still sounding annoyed from before. "And I don't require Irma's services."

I gave him a dirty look, his attitude angering me again. "No, you just shoot people for fun."

He looked crestfallen, but I didn't care in that moment. I couldn't understand why we were suddenly arguing. If I'd not asked about his weird arrangement with Daisy, would he be this pissy with me now? A part of me wished I could take it back whilst another part of me was angry that he was taking something so small and erupting it into a petty fight. To think, a few hours ago I'd thought we were clicking.

The hurt on his face only lasted for a few seconds before his expression turned stony. "Let's just get on with it, shall we?"

Nick led us behind a velvet curtain and suddenly we were stepping into a very clinical laboratory, complete with chemistry stations and two more pods. A woman in a lab coat was standing over a microscope, and she jumped a little as we entered, a frown on her face.

"No one is supposed to be down here," She said. She had a slight Indian accent. I guessed this was Dr Amari.

"Irma let us pass," Nick advised. "We were hoping you could take a look at this."

He handed her the piece of Kellogg's' brain and she pulled a face at him. "And what do you expect me to do with this? I work with living brains, Mr Valentine – whole ones, at that."

"It came from a man named Kellogg," I piped up now. "It was lodged in his head, but the rest of the brain is… uh, let's just say it's irretrievable. We just want to know what that thing is attached to it, in case it can help in our investigation. You see, he kidnapped my son."

Talking about it was getting so much easier now. Amari looked to the floor with concern. "I'm so sorry for what he did. But I'm not an engineer, I don't know what… wait."

She squinted at the item in her hand and a smile began to form on her face. "This looks like the hippocampus! And this thing that's attached to it – a neural interface? And there's no sign of decay! It appears to preserving the tissue, injecting some kind of compound to keep it stable. Fascinating!"

"So, you do have an idea?" Nick queried.

"Well," Amari screwed up her face. "I have seen this type of technology before – inside you, Mr Valentine. I believe this is the work of the Institute."

"We'd figured as much," He agreed. "What else can you tell us?"

"The man you took this from, Kellogg. He used this device to store his memories, like a save file, if you will. I could easily upload this into a blank synth and he would be living again, just like that."

"So, we could access his memories?" I wondered aloud. "We could find out where the Institute is and how to get in!"

"There's no way of accessing these memories without a compatible port," Amari shook her head.

"I guess that's where I come in," Nick chuckled in his metallic tones. "I'm an old synth but I assume it would still work?"

"In theory," Amari grimaced. "But I don't know where to start listing the risks…"

"Don't bother, I don't need to hear them. Plug me in, Doc."

"Are you sure?" MacCready interjected. I had to agree with him.

"Yeah Nick, don't do anything stupid. I'm sure we can find another way."

"It's okay, Veronica, I want to do this."

"If you're sure, Mr Valentine, then please take a seat," Amari gestured to a chair and he took it. She removed his detective hat and opened up a panel on the back of his head. "Keep talking to me, please. Any change in your cognitive function could be dire."

"If I start cackling like an old, grizzled mercenary, pull me out." He joked. I nervously fiddled with my holster, silently cursing myself for letting him go through with this. MacCready came over to me but he didn't speak.

"What do you feel?" Amari asked.

"I can see a lot of flashes and static," Nick answered her. "I can't make any sense of it."

"That's what I was afraid of," Amari sighed. "The mnemonic impressions are encoded, like he's locked his memories. I can open them up from here, but Nick alone isn't strong enough to bypass the encryption and see them. Maybe, with two…?"

She nodded towards one of the pods near us and I placed a hand on my chest. "Me? What do I do?"

"I can upload what is on this device into a pod using Nick as a port. All you have to do is sit in a memory pod. It will be just like what I give to my clients, only instead of your own memories, you'll be seeing Kellogg's. You'll feel like you're dreaming, but I will be able to speak to you."

I twiddled with my holster some more, a little more aggressively, and MacCready put a gentle hand on my shoulder. Was all forgiven? I relaxed a little and nodded. "So, I just sit in the chair?"

"Yes," Amari was plugging Nick into the pod. "Sit down and try to feel as calm as possible. I won't know which memories are which, so it may take us some time to find the right ones."

I took a deep breath and laid in the chair, letting the glass door close over me. A sense of remembered claustrophobia shocked my body, but I didn't feel the cold frost of the cryogenic chamber, so I eased a little. MacCready stood over me, a strange expression on his face. A countdown began on the monitor in front of me and I felt myself drift off into blackness.

#####

 **MACCREADY**

Dr Amari had put Nick into some kind of rest mode as she began to attach wires from the back of his head into the pod that Veronica had jumped into. Whilst she worked, I looked through the glass at the unconscious state of my travelling companion, a small ache in my chest. I shouldn't have snapped at her. It wasn't her fault that I had so much shit in my life, so much that I couldn't even handle talking about it. Then she'd pointed out that I shoot people… for fun, she'd said. I hoped to God that wasn't how she saw me. The rest of the world could think what they like, but Veronica needed to know that I wasn't an animal. I wasn't like those Gunners. I hated my talent.

Her eyes were fluttering beneath their lids and I felt myself soften at her familiar features. When we'd first met, I'd known there was something special about her. Something appealing. I hadn't realised until recently just _how_ much I actually liked her. However, after all was said and done, I was just here to give her protection. Once Shaun was located and hopefully brought home, there was no need for me to stick around. She couldn't possibly be feeling the same way I did.

Besides, Lucy still haunted my dreams.

I took a seat next to Amari as she finished wiring up her own computer. She looked at me with a wry smile.

"Don't worry," She assured me. "She will be safe. Physically, there is no harm in this procedure."

"Physically…" I echoed. A lump caught in my throat.

"I will be able to talk to her through this device. I also hooked up the pod so that we might share the memories with her. Her emotions may get the better of her, so it would do some good to have all eyes open."

I smirked, pulling my chair closer to the screen. "You just jumped straight onto an opportunity to learn secrets about the Institute without hesitation."

Amari laughed. "What can I say? I'm a woman of science."

She lifted a finger to silence me now and brought the communication device to her lips. "Hello, Veronica. I will be guiding you through this, but I'm afraid you won't be able to speak to me. I will try to pull up relevant memories, but it won't be as easy as filing paperwork. If you feel distressed at any time, you can walk away from the memory and I will pick up signals over here. Good luck."

The next hour was an intense dilution of Kellogg's life. We watched from his point of view, learning that he was abused by his father, had a wife and a child who were brutally murdered and eventually turned to the Institute when there was nothing else left. He acted within the Commonwealth on their behalf, as no one who actually resided their ever left its confines. I found the experience uncomfortable – it painted the picture of a sympathetic man. It made him more relatable. More human. I did not want to pity him.

The scene eventually folded into something completely new, a place I'd never seen before. A cold, sterile room filled with chambers that lined the walls. Two people walked ahead of Kellogg, wearing hazmat suits and breathing apparatus. They strode purposefully to one of the chambers and began to work at the computer beside it. I didn't understand what was happening, until they finished typing away and the chamber began to open. Inside, there was a man holding a baby. The pieces came together in my mind and I muttered an 'oh no' under my breath.

"What is it?" Amari whispered away from the mic.

I didn't answer, only stared at the screen as the story unfolded. One of the hazmat-clad people, a woman with a soothing voice, was talking to the man, who was utterly confused and bewildered. She tried to take the baby from him, but he fought her off and said no. They struggled for all of 10 seconds before Kellogg lifted his pistol and fired it directly at the distraught father's head. He sank into the chamber, lifeless, whilst the woman quickly grabbed the baby and bounced it in her arms. A muffled scream called out from the chamber opposite and Kellogg whirled round.

There she was – the beautiful Veronica, her perfect face twisted in pain and wet with tears as she desperately hammered her fists against her chamber door. Kellogg walked right up to her, so that I could see every little detail on her face.

"At least we have the back-up." He growled, and the memory faded.

Stunned silence followed. I didn't have to explain what had happened to Amari – I could tell from her sullen expression that she'd figured it out. I knew about what had happened, but never in a million years had I expected it to have been so brutal. So quick. I turned longingly to where Veronica laid in her pod. She was eerily still.

"I'm sorry that you had to experience that again," Amari told her. "Let me try another memory."

The screen flickered to life again and a vision of the inside of Kellogg's Diamond City dwelling emerged. He seemed to be sitting, polishing a gun and whistling. By his feet, a child was reading comics on the floor. A boy – a young boy with a shock of red hair.

"That must be Shaun," I announced, poking the monitor. Amari waved me off and told me to shush.

The door to Kellogg's home opened and a very composed man wearing all black and sunglasses came inside, face unwavering.

"You're going to get your head blown off, barging in like that." Kellogg addressed the man.

"Minimising my exposure to civilians is a priority." The other replied. I knew right then that he was a synth.

"Sure," The older man chuckled. "What's so important? I'm supposed to be looking after the kid."

"Dr Brian Virgil has left the Institute."

Kellogg laughed again, a horribly hollow sound. "Left? As in…?"

"He's gone rogue," The synth replied. "We know that he's somewhere in the Glowing Sea. Here, take his file."

"Wow, some heads are going to roll for this," Kellogg sighed. "I suppose you want me to go chasing after him. Capture and return, or elimination?"

"Elimination. He was working on a highly classified programme."

I shook my head at the scene before me. They were openly discussing their dirty work in front of a child, for Christ's sake. The two men continued to talk about the mission further before the synth declared that he was taking Shaun back to the Institute. Kellogg seemed a little saddened by that news which made my blood boil. I wanted to kill him all over again.

"Stand by me," The synth gestured at Shaun, who stood up and obeyed. They held hands.

"Goodbye, Mr Kellogg," Shaun smiled sweetly, and I could see Veronica in him without a doubt. "Thanks for everything!"

In a flash of blue light, both the kid and the synth disappeared.

"That's it!" Amari cheered, grabbing the mic. "I'm pulling you out now, hold on."

She clicked the keyboard a few times and began to unplug Nick. The memory pod door popped open so I slowly walked over to where Veronica was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful. Her lips were parted slightly, but what I really wanted to see were those big blue eyes. Oh man, I was falling hard.

Nick was reset and he stretched his arms as he stood. Amari told him to go through to the main hall and take a second in case the procedure had caused any internal damage, before coming over to stand by my side.

"Don't worry, she'll be awake in a few seconds." She advised me. "You… care for her, no?"

Heat flooded my face and I shrugged her off with a snarl. "Just making sure I get paid."

She didn't have to know that I already had been paid, or that I'd even tried to give the caps back. My reputation was all I had round here. In any case, Veronica began to stir and her eyes fluttered open. Amari pushed past me to help her up, so I moved to the side-lines to let them speak.

"…did everything go okay?" Veronica croaked, squinting at the room.

"Perfectly," Amari beamed. "Mr Valentine is just out there waiting for you. Now, I know I watched everything with you, but I think we should discuss what happened in that last memory."

"Teleportation, right? That blue light… the man in black clothing, he teleported my baby boy to the Institute."

"Yes," Amari nodded enthusiastically. "I believe so! It's remarkable technology. Now, they also mentioned a man named Virgil. Perhaps a scientist?"

Veronica bit her lip. "Yeah, I suppose he's the next port of call for information. Where did they say he was hiding, the Glowing Sea?"

"It's a bomb site," I piped up. "We can't go there. The rads will kill us."

"Perhaps… you can," Amari mused. "I have a suit of Power Armour here. The wearer would be 75% more protected from the radiation, and with a couple of Rad-X pills too… I believe one of you could make the journey. So long as you're quick about it."

I knew what Veronica was going to say before the words even formed in her mouth, but there was nothing I could do to stop her.

"I'll do it."


	9. A Demon, A Devil, A Doll

_He's a palooka, he's a brute  
He drives me crazy, but he's cute  
Why do I love a guy I ought to shoot?  
He's a demon, he's a devil, he is a doll_

 **MACCREADY**

Veronica had decided that we should find the river and walk along the bank instead of marching through the built-up area of Boston, where all the Raider gangs were stationed. I agreed, not because it was a tactical plan, but because it gave me more time to try and change her mind. After Dr Amari had explained that it was plausible for one of us to explore the Glowing Sea to find an ex-Institute scientist so long as we wore a suit of armour and popped pills on the hour, Veronica had volunteered faster than a Deathclaw strike. I had to admit, seeing her enter the Power Armour had made me smile. It was empowering. I'd made a joke about not wanting to cross her while she wore it, but it fell on deaf ears. I guess she was still mad from before.

As we walked slowly – due to her still trying to get used to having weighted, hydraulic legs – I tried to find the words to make everything right. How could I do that without telling her everything though? Is that what I was supposed to do? Share me demons? They weren't her burdens to bear. I had to say something, though. Once she strolled into the Glowing Sea, there was no guarantee I would ever see her again. A lump formed in my throat at the prospect of losing her.

"So…" I began, but she lifted her arm abruptly and silenced me.

"This suit is picking up some sort of signal," She said. "I can hear my Pip Boy trying to tune into the radio. I should find out what it is right?"

"Sure," I sighed, twirling my rifle like a baton. Maybe this was fate telling me not to lay all of my cards on the table after all.

"It's a distress call," She breathed. "It's coming from across the river, towards Cambridge. We should help them."

I stopped spinning my gun and screwed my face up at her. "Why? It's not our problem."

"The Gunners weren't my problem either," She muttered, her voice sounding colder as it filtered through her helmet. I knew she had a point, but we'd never been heroes. Or at least, I hadn't. Veronica was the type to rescue even when she had more important places to be, like she had with Preston Garvey and then again with me at Mass Pike Interchange. A part of me just didn't understand the selflessness – this world we lived in would crush her in a second, yet she was constantly trying to save it.

We headed across a bridge anyway and made our way into Cambridge. The whole area was eerily quiet, all shops having been raided of their goods a long time ago. A pram laid on its side in the middle of the square, a sad looking teddy bear spilling from within. A couple of pre-war vehicles littered the roads around the edge, their wheels and seats stolen by Scavengers so that they were nothing but metal husks. I might've believed that not a single soul had stepped into this place for hundreds of years, had it not been for that damn distress signal, now beeping louder and faster the further in we moved.

Eventually, we rounded a corner and heard the first sounds of danger. Snarling, snapping and hissing. A jolt of familiarity shocked through my spine and I stopped in my tracks. Veronica stopped too, turning towards me and taking off her helmet. Her forehead was slick with sweat, wispy bits of auburn hair stuck to it.

"What's that?" She whispered. I couldn't answer, my voice caught in my throat. She frowned at me and continued walking ahead – I warily began to follow, one finger trembling against the trigger of my rifle. I knew I had to pull myself together, but once the shaking kicked in, I couldn't stop it. A few barricades came into view in front of the old police station, and the source of the noise became terrifyingly clear – I had been right. We'd walked into a group of Feral Ghouls.

I tried to warn Veronica but it was too late. A few of them had spotted us and were turning around, their skeletal, decaying faces twisting as they hissed. I could see that they'd been attacking someone, but my vision was blurring now. I became rooted to the spot, unable to function as the memories flooded my mind. The tunnels. Those noises. Lucy.

Veronica was crying out to me, screaming and pointing as the Feral's darted towards us. They were impossibly quick, their bodies a sick mockery of humanity. Veronica tugged at my arm and slapped my face but it was no use. I couldn't do it. Not this. More memories hit me like a punch to the stomach. A guttural scream. A crying child. Lucy.

A sudden scratch at my face woke me from the trance and I almost cursed at the pain – a Feral had reached me and clawed at my cheek. Shaking all thoughts of the past from my mind, I quickly bashed the Feral in the side of the head with the butt of my gun so that it stumbled away from me, then aimed the barrel at its neck and fired. It was decapitated in a messy goop of rotten flesh.

#####

 **VERONICA**

I pulled at MacCready's arm and screamed at him to move but he just shook his head rapidly and mumbled to himself, a look of pure fear in his eyes. I growled at him, furious that he chose this moment to suddenly become afraid, and turned my attention to the mob of zombies ahead of me. I squinted at the person in the middle of them, but I couldn't see who it was through the crowd. I ran forward to help anyway, throwing my helmet back on and pushing through the creatures that had begun break away from the pack. I knew that they would get to MacCready, but I couldn't save him and the person ahead of me at the same time. I had to make a choice.

As I got closer, however, it became clear that this person did not need my help. They were also wearing a full suit of Power Armour and were expertly destroying the creatures with a laser rifle. I suddenly hated myself for leaving my friend paralysed behind me. I whipped my head around – MacCready was back, running towards me and taking down any zombie that got in his way. Back to his usual first-shot-kill self. I nodded at him and joined in the fight, striking the creatures with my hydraulic fists as they tried to maul me. Tears formed in my eyes.

It was utter carnage – I was very aware that I was constantly screeching, demanding to know what these horrible zombies were, but nobody answered me. It took at least three laser beams to kill one of them if I didn't hit them in the head, so my amateur aim did little against them. The mystery person didn't make a single noise as he shot them down, and soon enough, he and MacCready had the situation under control.

Once they were all dead, the stranger took their helmet off, revealing themselves to be a very clean, good-looking man with black cropped hair and dark circles under his eyes. On his chest, an unfamiliar emblem shone proudly; MacCready scoffed when he saw it, apparently very away of what it meant, so I gave him a warning look.

"I appreciate your assistance, civilians, but what is your business here?" The man barked at us.

"Uh, seriously?" MacCready raised his eyebrows. "We just saved your a-… uh, your life."

"What my friend here is trying to say," I intervened. "Is that we came at your distress call."

I was glad to hear the snarky, snide side of MacCready returning, however. For whatever reason, these monsters had triggered a reaction within him that I'd never seen before. I wanted to hug him. I didn't.

"A bold move, but unnecessary. I had the situation under control." The man replied, coolly.

"Then why bother with the distress call?"

He shifted his gaze from me to MacCready before giving away the tiniest hint of a smile. It was quickly removed. "Very well. The transmission was supposed to be picked up by the Prydwen. Since arriving in the Commonwealth, we've been under constant fire. Our mission here has been increasingly difficult."

I glanced at MacCready, who gave a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders, before turning my attention back to the newcomer. "Mission? Who are you? What the hell were those things attacking us and what on Earth is a Prydwen?"

"Perhaps you'd like to enter our compound so that I may answer any further line of questioning. I am Paladin Danse of the Brotherhood of Steel. Step this way, civilian."

#####

Once again, I found myself pulled away from finding my son because of something utterly insane that I'd stumbled into. Paladin Danse had led us into the abandoned wreck that had once been Cambridge Police Station and was now leaning against the reception desk, speaking to two other Brotherhood members he'd briefly introduced us to – Scribe Haylen and Knight Rhys. Haylen was a friendly looking younger woman with rosy cheeks and a wonky smile, but Rhys had the features of a petulant child, glaring at everyone through gritted teeth and squinted eyes.

I'd learnt that they were part of what used to be a much bigger squad but had been attacked several times since stationing themselves here. They came from a branch of the Brotherhood of Steel that had relocated to the Commonwealth from the Capital Wasteland after hearing about the Institute – apparently, they weren't big on synthetic humans and planned to wage war on the people who had created them. At least, that's what I got from the way Danse spoke, as if they were abominations. He seemed to really despise synths. I wondered how he would feel towards Nick.

He also hated those things that had been attacking us before – Feral Ghouls, he'd called them. I thought back to Daisy; I had so many questions.

MacCready was sat on the floor, rooting through his bag. He pulled out a can of Cram and began to eat it noisily. A bloody scratch ran down his cheek – his list of injuries was growing. I sighed and leant against the wall beside him.

"Feral Ghouls, huh?" It was both a question and a statement. "So, I guess they're like Daisy, only savage."

"Yeah," He said, quietly. "Some of them mutated completely. There's nothing left of the person they used to be, just a hunger for flesh."

"Okay… do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Not really."

"Okay."

It went quiet again. I really wanted to get out of this suit, it was so hot. I could hear Danse and the others talking at the other side of the room. They weren't loud enough to overhear. I clicked my tongue and tried to keep my heart palpations at minimum.

"I'm sorry," MacCready croaked, shaking me from my train of thought. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did back in Goodneighbor."

"Yeah, no, it was me, I guess…" I breathed. "It's been rough, I overreacted. You haven't done anything wrong."

I meant that too – as much as he'd pissed me off, I was beginning to realise that I had been prying into something deeply personal. My nose wasn't appreciated in his business, which was fine, because we were colleagues and that was all. I had to stop believing that we were anything more than that.

He looked up at me now, that same strange look on his face that he'd had when I was entering the memory pod. "You truly believe that I haven't done anything wrong? Then you don't know me at all."

I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but we were interrupted by Danse stomping over to us in his giant power armour. I wondered if I looked that intimidating.

"Everything is cleared up here," He announced. "Be sure to stock up on supplies before you head out. Where are you travelling to, might I ask?"

"The Glowing Sea," I explained. "There's a man there that I need to meet with."

"You must be mistaken," Danse frowned. "No one could possibly live in that hell-hole."

"I know that he does," I urged. "And I've got to try find him, even if he doesn't. There's too much at stake."

The Paladin regarded me for a second before pointing at MacCready. "Without power armour, that deadbeat is going to die."

"Hey!" MacCready stood up, attempting to square up to Danse, only to fall short of him by several inches.

"He's not coming in with me, he's just… escorting me there." I chose my words as carefully as I could. People seemed to react badly when they knew I was travelling with a hired gun.

Again, Danse stared at me as though cogs were clicking in his head, then extended his hand towards me. "You helped me out there when not many would. To pay my debt, I'd be honoured to join you in the Glowing Sea as protection."

I turned to MacCready, who was looking on in disbelief and what I might've called jealously has I not known better. I knew it would annoy the hell out of him to take someone else with me, but I didn't have the best gun skills and I'd been told on multiple occasions that the bomb site was filled with deadly creatures.

I took Danse's hand and shook it.


	10. Crawl Out Through The Fallout

_Crawl out through the fallout, baby  
Into my loving arms  
Through the rain of Stronium-90  
Think about your hero, when you're at Ground Zero  
And crawl out through the fallout back to me_

 **VERONICA**

The sky was turning a sickly green above us, neon clouds clashing together to create eerie lights that danced along the horizon. Here we were, the edge of the Glowing Sea. Life seemed to disintegrate the closer we came; albeit a scattering of withered trees, there were no plants or grass to be seen. It was just a mass of solid, cracked dirt and a few dusty rocks. The air even seemed thicker here, and my rad meter began to beep like a heart monitor.

We'd stayed at the police station overnight, then packed as many supplies as we could carry before making the journey to where we were now. The heat was getting intense, so Danse and I had removed our helmets in order to breath easier. MacCready had been quiet, which was a revelation in itself. He was now climbing a rather large boulder in front of us, using the height as a vantage to scout for potential danger ahead.

"Seems pretty clear," He announced from his pedestal. "Take some Rad-X before you go. It'll help combat the sickness."

I nodded and reached into my satchel to retrieve the pills, dry-swallowing so that they lodged in my throat uncomfortably – I wanted to ration the purified water that Scribe Haylen had provided us with, not including the entire bottle I'd guzzled before we'd set off. I'd not drank actual water for little over two hundred years prior to that.

MacCready jumped down from the boulder and tenses his shoulders, forcing a tiny smile. "So, I guess this is it."

"I'm coming back, you know." I reminded him. "Sit tight on this rock. I won't be long at all."

"Take as much time as you need, just make sure you come back in one piece."

And then I did something without thinking – I pulled him into an embrace. Awkward at first, because of my armour, but he slowly sank into it. As soon as we were holding each other, I knew it was a mistake – I didn't want to let go. However, something had been hanging over us like a dark cloud since Goodneighbor and I just wanted to feel like we were connecting again. MacCready gave a muffled whispered into my shoulder. "Yeah. Okay, so… yeah. Good luck out there."

"We should take advantage of the time of day," Danse sniffed, and MacCready pushed me away, rolled his eyes and leant against the boulder with his arms folded. A part of me felt empty all of a sudden. "We don't want to get caught in a Radiation Storm at night."

"Sure thing," I agreed. We both placed out helmets back in with a satisfying harmony of clicks and began to move forward into the green atmosphere. I didn't look back at the man I was leaving behind; I couldn't let my emotions get in the way of finding my little boy.

#####

The deeper we wandered into the Glowing Sea, the creepier everything got. The air was so misty that we had to turn out headlamps on. MacCready had been right about this place – danger was literally everywhere we turned. Luckily, Danse was extremely prepared and had the military training necessary to combat most obstacles that flew, or crawled, our way. I'd dealt with Bloatflies before, so I was able to show off a little of my skill in that area, however the number of giant mutated bugs was getting out of hand and I wasn't entirely sure how I was coping. At one point, a huge mosquito-like creature the size of my torso came straight at me and I screamed like a child. Danse punched it own from the sky and squished it under his foot, splattering the bottom half of my power armour with blood and gunk. Apparently, that had been a Bloodbug, and they were very deadly. I shuddered and thanked him for the rescue.

As I watched him work, I couldn't help but compare him to the other man in my life. Where MacCready was cocky and sarcastic, Danse was serious and collected. There were no quips when he hit a target, just an actual confirmation, as if we were part of a unit or squad. He also had a strangely perfect face, shaven and clear – unlike MacCready, who's tired eyes and messy goatee made him appear twice as old as he was. It struck me as quite odd, considering everyone I'd met in the Commonwealth had that same aged look; perhaps there was something I didn't know about Danse, a secret to his handsome features and youthful vigour. He reminded me of Nate - I didn't totally hate that. I sighed loudly.

"Is something troubling you?" Danse asked in his cool manner. The tone of his voice always seemed so level and measured. I missed feeling as calm as that.

"I just…" I sighed again. "I just want to find this Virgil guy and get it over with."

Danse cocked his head to one side a little. "What is the purpose of locating a man who clearly does not want to be located?"

"He may or may not have some useful information." I scrunched up my face and shrugged. "I should just be straight with you. My son is missing. Well, not missing as such, I know exactly where he is, but… it's complicated. It's a place I can't get to and Virgil could hold the key to the front door."

A sudden and bone-chilling howl ripped through my sentence. We both instinctively crouched low to the ground and checked our ammo. In the distance I could see dirt being kicked up into the air, creating a miniature sandstorm. It was on high ground, not too far from our current position.

"We should avoid that," I suggested to Danse. "Whatever it is, it looked and sounds angry. I say we sneak around."

"We'll do no such thing," Danse disagreed, cocking his gun. "If it lives here, it's a plague on humanity and must be eliminated."

My jaw dropped as he walked away, towards the ruckus ahead. What did he mean, a plague on humanity? Surely, if it was capable of throwing that much sand and debris into the air, we should leave it be? I thought back to the many times MacCready had let me use the cautious approach and sneak past a potential threat. I cursed inwardly that he wasn't here now.

I followed Danse up the hillside and onto the ridge where the commotion was happening, trying my best to silence my hydraulic steps and keep low to the ground. If he wanted to go in all guns blazing, so be it, but I was taking precautions. We neared the top and I had to stop myself from crying out at what I saw.

A Godzilla-looking, humongous lizard had a ridiculously sized scorpion in a headlock. There was literally no other way of describing the scene before me. They both appeared to be roughly ten feet in stature, one with scaly skin and claws the size of my arms, the other plated with exoskeleton and armed with two deadly pincers and a sharp stinger. I hid behind a nearby boulder whilst Danse, on the other hand, threw himself at the two monstrous things and began to open fire. They ignored his presence and continued to brawl. I wanted to shout at him to leave them alone and run while he still could, but I didn't want to reveal my hiding place, so I watched desperately and willed the whole thing to be over. I'd had enough of animals being larger than they should be or having multiple heads. I was sick and tired of being attacked.

Suddenly, the lizard lifted the scorpion into the air and plunged a jagged claw into its stomach, pulling out the innards, all the while bellowing a war cry. The scorpion, defeated, wailed and flopped to the ground. After a breath shout at the air, the victorious monster turned its attention towards Danse, who was still shooting at the devil in vain. How were his laser beams not doing any real damage?

The creature ran to Danse with incredible speed before almost casually casting him aside in one swipe. He tumbled to the ground like a piece of screwed up trash; now was the time for me to do something. I only had my laser pistol, having left my regular one with MacCready, but the beast was limping and wounded from the fight. I said a quick prayer under my breath and leapt out from my safe place, trying my very best to aim straight before pulling the trigger – my body was shaking in terror. It roared tremendously and darted towards me like a demented chameleon. I backed up quickly, still firing, trying to hit its face whilst also watching where I was going. If I stepped too far, I was going to fall down the ridge. A small voice at the back of my head told me that I was going to die… I imagined it was Shaun.

It took mere milliseconds for the reptile to catch up to me and before I knew it was being scooped up at least fifteen feet into the air. I kicked and punched, adrenaline coursing through my veins, but the creature just roared in my face and pulled its other arm back, ready to pierce my stomach just like it had done to the poor scorpion. If it could rip through exoskeleton, it was probably okay with tearing open my armour. I closed my eyes, clenched my jaw and waited for the pain to rip through me.

I heard an ear-piercing screech and snapped my eyes open to see Danse closing the pincers of the dead scorpion around the lizard's neck from behind, squeezing as hard as he could. The grip it had on me loosened so I wriggled free, landing hard on my ankles with a sickening crunch. No time to check for broken bones, I gathered myself rapidly and pointed my pistol once more at the creature, this time aiming for the throat as Danse clamped down harder. One deep breath, like MacCready did so often, and I pulled the trigger.

The beam hit on target, colliding with the already weakened neck, allowing Danse to fully close the pincer and completely crush the tendons; the head lolled to one side, the roaring died out and the giant lizard slumped.

"Oh, my God," I cried out. "Oh, my God! What the hell? Ow, my ankle! Ow…"

"It was a Deathclaw," Danse explained, calmly. "And the other thing was a Radscorpion. Are you not familiar with Bostonian wildlife?"

"Clearly not," I breathed, clutching at my foot and checking my joints. "I don't think I broke anything but it's definitely sprained. The power armour most likely helped."

"You can find Deathclaw's in the Capital Wasteland too, just as aggressive as this one," He continued, ignoring my injury and instead choosing to tutor me. "Some say they're even more fearsome than the mighty Mirelurk, but those same people probably haven't been up against a Queen Mirelurk, so I wouldn't take that statistic too seriously."

"Sure," I muttered, pretending to understand. Danse didn't know that I was new to this world. He didn't need to know. We began to skid back down the other side of the ridge, being careful not to trip, when I saw huts on the horizon. I squinted and began to whoop for joy. "People! I can see people!"

"In this place, they're probably Ghouls," Danse sniped coldly, which threw me off. "There's no other way anyone could possibly live in this environment."

"Maybe so," I glared at him. "I don't care, I don't need to know how they're surviving this dump. I just want directions."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

Veronica had told me to stay on this boulder and wait for her return. Perhaps it had been a joke, perhaps she didn't expect me to actually follow those instructions. What else could I do, though? I would be anxious no matter what I tried to distract myself with, worried that she was going to get radiation sickness or even poisoning. Maybe a horde of Feral Ghouls had torn her apart or a Deathclaw had used her as a stress toy. The possibilities were making me edgy and I wanted nothing more than to dive in and retrieve her.

But it hadn't even been a day yet, and who knew how long it would take her to find Virgil? I had to trust that she knew what she was doing. I had to trust that Danse would protect her. I had to trust that she would come back to me.

I was going to tell her about Duncan when she returned. She deserved to know my truth, even if that meant she despised me for it.

Ever since she'd chosen to save me from the Gunners. Ever since she'd looked me in the eyes and I could see a genuine smile on her face. Ever since she'd shown that she actually trusted me, liked me, maybe even cared for me.

I couldn't go on denying it any longer.

I was in love with her.

Goddamn those big, beautiful blues.


	11. Uranium Fever

_Uranium fever  
Has done and got me down  
Uranium fever  
Is spreading all around_

 **VERONICA**

As it turned out, the small group of settlers we had come across during our jaunt in the Glowing Sea were completely, one hundred percent, certified insane.

Danse had been wrong about them being Ghouls – however, they were a ghastly shade of yellow and looked to be near death. They called themselves the Children of Atom, a religious cult that believed that the war was actually a significant holy event triggered by a God called Atom, marking the birth of multiple universes. Because of this, they bathed in radiation, only ate and drank irradiated goods and celebrated death as the start of something new; they even referred to their sickened bodies as being 'touched with The Glow', as if it were a sacred blessing. I knew that they were nutjobs, clearly dealing with post-apocalyptic life in a very strange fashion, but they were the only hope I had of finding Virgil, so I'd sat and listened to their crazy ramblings until I could interject with my own questions. Apparently, Virgil lived in a cave in the cliffs behind their church – he occasionally came out of hiding to trade with them.

My experience with them also helped me to learn more about Danse. I wasn't totally thrilled with the results. What I'd first presumed to be his disgust at their lifestyle was soon shown to be disgust at the people themselves – he obnoxiously mocked them and made comments about their unclean blood. I'd tried to argue that it wasn't our life to judge, only for him to retort that humanity had to be 'pure' in order to thrive.

"Is that how you feel about Ghouls too?" I questioned him as we made the climb towards Virgil's cave.

"Of course," He replied. "All mutations are abominations."

"They're human beings!"

"Not anymore. They can't procreate and they live for an exceptionally long time," Danse huffed, heaving himself onto a shelf of rock where the cave was situated. "These are not qualities that make a human."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing," I also made it to the top, feeling my lungs burn from the hard work. "I thought that you people were tech scavengers, not genocidal dictators."

I couldn't tell how Danse had reacted to that comment due to his helmet covering his face, but his arms folded in front of him and he stood with his legs apart, a typical domineering male stance. "These are not the beliefs of the Brotherhood, it's personal opinion. The only prejudices our faction support are ones against the Institute and its synths. Our leader, Elder Maxson, describes them as a malignant tumour that must be removed and eradicated before humanity can truly being to heal."

I considered his words and decided to keep my mouth shut. The fear and hatred aimed at the Institute was completely understandable; they were kidnapping innocents and replacing them with imposters, it was like something out of a horror story. However, was it really the synths fault? They didn't ask to be created. Nick didn't ask to be half-made and tossed out into the gutter to fend for himself. Just as Ghouls didn't choose to exist as living corpses either. Or was I not thinking about the greater good? Nate had always said that my heart was too big for my own good.

I waved Danse off and pointed towards the cave. "I'm sorry, let's just drop it and continue with the plan. You ready?"

"Affirmative."

I took a deep breath and walked into the darkness of the cave, feeling my throat begin to close; it was as though the walls were closing in on me, pushing into my body so that I might be crushed into pulp. I knew that it was all in my head, a result of being trapped in a cryo-chamber that ruined my life, but it didn't make the feeling any less real. I turned on my headlamp to see my surroundings. It was mostly rock with a small tunnel stretching out before me.

As we went in further, I saw a flickering light in the distance. A few lamps had been placed on the ground, exposing a turret which whirred to life and aimed at us as we approached. I signalled for Danse to stay low and prepared myself for gunfire, but it never came. Instead, a voice called out from ahead.

"Who's there?" It sounded gruff and angry.

I couldn't speak at first, dryness pinching at the back of my throat. I coughed and croaked a reply. "My name is Veronica. I'm looking for a man named Brian Virgil."

"So, you've finally come for me." He sounded resigned. "I knew that they'd send a Courser after me eventually. Don't worry – the turret won't harm you. I'm ready."

I exchanged a shrug with Danse and we headed towards the source of the voice, finding ourselves in a nook flooded with light. It looked like a home, complete with sleeping bag on the floor and a firepit with a roasting spit balanced above. There was also a small desk covered in notes and a large figure hidden beside it, bathed in shadow – my guess was that this was Virgil.

"Thanks for letting us through," I offered. "I really need to speak with you. It's urgent."

"I'd rather you just got it over with," He growled back.

"She's not a Courser, and nor am I." Danse said, pointedly. "We don't want you dead."

I was more than a little confused, but I nodded in agreement. "No, definitely not. Please help me. My son was kidnapped by the Institute and I need a way in. I know you worked for them, I also know that you ran away."

"How do you know these things?" His voice boomed across the space. Something didn't feel right. "Oh, it doesn't matter. It's not like I can go back."

"Why? What happened?"

"Besides the fact that no one except Coursers have the access to freely travel in and out of the Institute? Well… just look at me!"

He stepped into the centre of the room now, allowing the light to expose his frame. I gasped and Danse grappled his laser rifle, pointing it at Virgil quickly. I touched his arm to tell him to stop, and moved towards the scientist. Now I knew how he was surviving in the fallout of a nuclear bomb. Brian Virgil was a Super Mutant.

His body was a huge, grotesque mass of muscle and veins, his skin a toxic shade of green. Easily eight feet tall, he towered over me, comically still wearing a broken pair of glasses that sat haphazardly across a hulking nose. A look of pure sadness spread across his face and he gestured to himself in despair.

"Look what I did to myself!" He roared. "It was the only way to survive in the Glowing Sea – a place no one could follow me. I had to inject myself with F.E.V."

I thought back to when MacCready had explained the existence of Super Mutants to me, remembering that the Forced Evolutionary Virus had been created with the help of government funding in order to supply the army of super soldiers. My heart panged at the thought of MacCready, all alone, waiting for me. I shook that thought from my head and instead turned my attention to the matter at hand.

"How come you even had access to that virus?" I questioned. "Were you infecting people?"

Virgil sighed and sank into the chair by his desk, rubbing his forehead with his gigantic hand. "It was in the name of science, they said. I couldn't do it, that's why I ran away. I was working on a serum to reverse the infliction – you know, once the heat was off of me – but I had to leave it behind during my escape."

"No sob story, please." Danse snarled in the background, his hatred towards all mutations becoming abundantly clear once again. I shushed him.

"I'm sorry," I said, and I meant it. "Look, if you help me get into the Institute, maybe I could find that serum and bring it to you?"

"Ha, well, you'd have to actually get in there in the first place," Virgil laughed a little. "There's only one way in – you have to be a Courser and have a chip embedded in your head."

"The chip triggers the teleportation?"

"Teleportation?" He frowned, then smiled. "You know a lot more than they would like. It's not teleportation as such – although, you are pulled from one place and transferred to another via a molecular relay."

"What if I stole a chip?" I offered, to which he really laughed, a harsh bellow.

"You'd have to kill a Courser to do that. That would not be an easy feat – they were created by Synth Retention to be ruthless killers, an elimination squad. Generally speaking, that only applies to escaped synths. I might be the first human on their hit list."

"I could kill a Courser," I shrugged. "I already killed Kellogg, and he was supposed to be some kind of mercenary."

Virgil's eyebrows shot up. "You killed Kellogg? That's actually impressive."

"Thanks," I winced. Virgil swivelled his chair towards his desk and began to scribble onto a piece of paper.

"Okay, if you can kill a Courser, then you have a slim chance of getting into the Institute. But that depends on whether or not you can find someone who would be able to widen the frequency on the chip and build a molecular relay platform. I'm drawing up some blueprints now – some of these parts can't be found in the Commonwealth but I can write down alternatives, I suppose." He stopped now and looked at me seriously. "Even if you find a Courser, manage to kill it, manage to build this thing – there's still the chance that it will kill you. Without all the proper equipment, this is a dangerous move."

"I don't care," I breathed. "I would die to find my son."

"Admirable," Virgil smiled. "Foolhardy, but admirable. You'll also need to know how to find a Courser, but that should be relatively easy. They can be found by tuning into the Classical Music station on any radio device – they use the frequency for the relay, so any nearby Courser will be detected so long as you've got a signal tracker."

"My Pip-Boy does," I nodded enthusiastically. "Any idea where to start?"

"Try the ruins of the CIT building. It's the primary installation point for Coursers. And Veronica – now that I've helped you, you will find my serum, won't you?"

"I give you my word."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

Night had come and gone, the sun was struggling to rise in the sky and I was chewing absentmindedly on a mole rat I'd shot and cooked earlier. There was still no sign of Veronica and Danse, yet I was still here, laid across that boulder on my back with my legs crossed and one arm behind my head, humming a tune. I was going to give it a second day before finding the nearest trade stall or caravan and buying a radiation suit. I didn't like how long this was taking. I watched the clouds float by in the sky, jealously dreaming that I could just drift away like that. Leave this place, find somewhere not tainted by some old war that had destroyed everything. Forget all my troubles and just allow the gentle breeze to pull me wherever. I was such a selfish d-bag. Duncan still needed me.

A faint stomping noise came from the distance and I propped myself up on my shoulders, unable to control the large grin now spreading across my face. It was the sound of hydraulic legs – power armour – they were back! Through the green fog I could see them, having now stopped a few metres away, talking to each other quietly. Then Veronica touched Danse's arm, he saluted and she began to walk away from him, towards me. He stood watching for a couple of seconds before heading out into a different direction. As soon as she got close, Veronica removed her helmet, flicking her burnt-orange bangs from her face and smiling broadly at me. I leapt from the boulder and hugged her.

"I told you I'd be back," She laughed, pushing me off of her. "Let me get the hell out of this thing so we can do this properly."

The suit made a hissing noise, then completely opened up at the back. I helped her jump out and she grappled me into a tighter embrace, burying her face into my neck. I sighed, happily.

"I… I missed you." I breathed, letting her go. I could feel myself blushing; I hadn't spoken this sweetly to her before.

"I missed you too," She bit her lip.

"Oh," I blushed harder. "Cool… um, where is Danse going?"

She shrugged a little and shook her head. "I'm not sure, I told him I didn't need his services anymore. He was nice enough and it was really helpful having him by my side, but his views are too… passionate, I guess?"

I smirked. "Yeah, I got that impression. Look, I made a fire earlier, I can probably bring it back. Are you hungry?"

"Starved!"

I spent a few minutes building the fire back up and unwrapped some of the mole rat meat from before, pushing it onto a stick and hovering it above the flames. Veronica sat beside me and watched me cook, face stony and tinged with sadness. I cocked my head at her. "What's wrong? Didn't you find Virgil?"

"Oh, yeah, we did," She nodded. "Turns out he made himself into a Super Mutant so he could survive the Glowing Sea. He drew me some blueprints so I can build the machine that will take me into the Institute, not that I would know how to build it."

She passed me a small piece of paper with a few drawings on it. It looked like it had been done by a toddler. "This is good though, I'm sure we can find someone who'll help us get this thing working. We're another step closer to Shaun."

"That's the thing though, I have to find and kill a Courser. They're supposed to be even harder to kill than Kellogg. Virgil told me that they're fitted with devices that can make them appear invisible, which they often use in combat. They also have targeted assistance inside their heads and no moral compass."

I touched her shoulder gently. "We can do this. You can do this. You've already achieved so much."

She smiled sweetly at me. "I'm glad you think so. But even if I manage that… there's a chance that the teleporter will kill me instantly. And even if that works, the Institute will just shoot me on sight. This mission feels doomed."

"Not doomed, just tricky." I assured her. We fell silent for a few minutes, until the meat was cooked and I passed her the stick so she could eat. As she sunk her teeth into it, I took a deep breath, remembering the vow I'd made yesterday to tell her my story.

"Veronica," I breathed her name. She looked up, her beautiful eyes locking with mine. I looked to the floor, suddenly ashamed. "Look, I haven't been completely honest with you… but I want to be."

She swallowed her first bite, a concerned look creeping over her face. "What is it?"

I closed my eyes and let the words fall from my mouth. "I have a son too."

When she didn't respond, I warily opened my eyes again. She was looking confused, but still her eyes were on me. I gave her a small half smile and tensed my shoulders.

"I didn't tell you because… because I didn't realise how important you would become to me… I just… God, I don't even know how to start this conversation. You're the first person I've ever told about Duncan."

I dropped my head into my hands, ready for her to walk away from me, but she didn't. Instead, I felt her shuffle closer to me and lean her head on my shoulder. "Tell me about him."

Shocked that she wasn't mad, I lifted my head up and laughed a little. "Oh, man, he's so great. So clever, so bright. Hard to believe he's mine, you know?"

Veronica chuckled. "Don't sell yourself short. So, where is he? Is he back in Goodneighbor?"

"No…" I trailed off. Here was the part where she got angry. "You know that I told you I was from the Capital Wasteland? He's still there – with a friend of mine, not alone. When I gave Daisy that money, it was so she could give it to a caravan who travels that way. We have an agreement."

Veronica lifted herself from my shoulder now, frowning. "That's so far away, why did you leave him there?"

The words were just tumbling from my lips now; they did say that once you started something, it got easier. "He's sick. I don't know what's wrong with him. One day he was playing out in the grass and the next he could barely stand. These blotches appeared all over his body and he just got weaker and weaker… I couldn't take him with me. My friend, Sammy, is keeping him alive for me while I'm here."

"I'm so sorry," Veronica whispered.

"It's nothing anyone could've prevented," I sighed loudly. "This guy I knew, his friend got the same thing, said that there's a cure out her in the Commonwealth."

"So, you came here to find it," She punched me on the arm playfully before leaning herself against me again. "You're not as bad as you think you are."

"That's where you'd be wrong," I sniffed. "I know exactly where the cure is, I'm just too afraid to get it. What kind of dad does that make me?"

"What makes you afraid?" She asked.

I closed my eyes again. "It's in the Med-Tek building. I went there once, when I first arrived here, only to find it flooded with Feral Ghouls. I was nearly torn to shreds. I can't tell you how terrified they make me, I can't even imagine going back. So, I've been taking jobs out here for a couple months, sending money and food back to Duncan, with no real long term plan up my sleeve. I know I can't go home empty handed. I don't know what else to do."

Veronica shifted a little and pulled my chin so that I was forced to look into her eyes. Those gorgeous, sparkling blue eyes. "Listen to me, you are not giving up. You've got me now. We're going to Med-Tek and we're getting that damn cure. No objections."

Our faces were so close, her words so sharp yet comforting. I gulped and nodded a little; we stayed like that for a few seconds, her hand still on my chin, grip softening. Those eyes, her words, everything swirled around in my mind until I could no longer control myself.

I closed the gap between us and kissed her.


	12. Undecided

_First you say you do, and then you don't  
Then you say you will, and then you won't  
You're undecided now  
So what are you gonna do?_

 **MACCREADY**

My heartbeat stuttered, heat flushing up through my body and over my face as my lips connected with Veronica's. It was almost as if in that split second between deciding to kiss her and actually doing so, I had realised that it was a bad idea. Too late, we had connected and my muscles froze as I panicked over what to do next. What if she pushed away? What if she slapped me? How the hell was I going to explain this away?

Milliseconds passed whilst I thought of all this; after that I felt her open her mouth slightly in order to take my bottom lip and her head tilted to the side – and now I couldn't help myself, the hunger was taking over, and I placed my hands on her sides to pull her closer. She clutched my hair between her fingers, knocking my cap to the ground. Our lips parted-

#####

 **VERONICA**

-I eagerly and lustfully tasted him, all logical thoughts spilling from my mind. How long had I subconsciously wanted this? Okay, so he was a sarcastic mercenary with a ridiculously high kill count, and that was just from the time he'd spent with me. But he was also sweet and kind and genuine, something I hadn't seen much of since before the war. Damn, he was a good kisser. I wondered if he thought the same of me? I crushed myself into him, pressing up against his body, not wanting to ever come up for air. It had been years since my last passionate kiss. In fact, my last kiss was…

I pulled away abruptly as memories of Nate freed themselves from whatever barriers I'd put up against them. Hotdogs at Fenway Park, making out in the cinema, holding hands as I was about to give birth to our son. That horrible feeling of guilt pricked the bubble of happiness I'd let myself enjoy.

MacCready put his head in his hands and sighed, before letting out an embarrassed laugh. "Oh, God."

"I'm sorry," I blurted, throwing my mole rat meat into the fire and standing up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He shook his head and picked up his hat, placing it back on his head. "No, it's my fault. That was… dumb. Like, the dumbest thing I've ever done. Way to ruin a moment, MacCready."

I wanted to tell him that he didn't ruin the moment, he enhanced the moment and made me feel so good for the first time in forever. Instead, I said. "It's okay. Let's just… focus on our next move."

He agreed sheepishly and stomped out the fire. I glanced over at the power armour I'd abandoned earlier, only now noticing its little details. Rust was gathering at the limb joints, one of the arms was a slightly different shade of grey to the rest of the body and the face was an intimidating mask of soulless eyes and hard lines. Wearing this, no one would know that I was just a feeble 30-year-old single mother with no real-world experience. I thought to myself that wearing this when I had to face a Courser would probably be a decent idea. Hell, if anything it gave me more protection. I stepped up into the suit, instantly gaining a couple feet in height and closed it up. MacCready walked towards to me, a smirk on his face.

"Let's go kick some a- uh, butt."

I laughed at his failed attempt at a cheesy one-liner, already feeling the weight of our little mistake lifting from my shoulders. I knew then that we could get past this. "Why do you always stop yourself from swearing?"

He shrugged and looked to the ground. "I made a promise to Duncan… my son. I promised I was going to clean up my act and become a better person."

"Swearing doesn't make you a bad person," I smiled. "I do it all the time. Like, all the _fucking_ time."

"Yeah, well," He chuckled. "It's one less thing for me to apologise for. Now come on, for real, let's find this Courser of yours so we can pay the Institute a visit."

Just as Virgil had instructed, we made our way to what was left of the old C.I.T. building. I remembered it from before the war, a lofty, Romanesque structure that had once been dedicated to science and technology. Now, it stood derelict, it's large windows all smashed and half of the brickwork crumbling away to reveal the insides. I'd visited here once with Nate, some sort of gathering he'd been invited to as part of his roots within the army. They'd discussed the first ever Power Armour sketches whilst I'd drank half my weight in vodka and thrown up in the toilets. We'd argued that night. I was becoming bored and irritable.

It was strange how one collapsed building could bring back so many memories. We were not happy, as much as we let the world believe. We'd married young and I'd regretted it almost instantaneously. There was nothing wrong with Nate, really, but I just wasn't in love. I'd married my best friend and now I was stuck with him. When Shaun was born, I'd made a promise to try harder. All of those plans were blown up in one giant mushroom-shaped explosion.

"So, the signal will be strongest here, right?" MacCready spoke up, snapping me out of my flashback.

I blinked back tears, grateful for the armour covering my face, and nodded. "Yeah, I just need to tune into the classical station."

As I did so, beautiful violins filled the air. It was so calming, I wondered how I'd never decided to listen to this before. We began to walk around the C.I.T. Rotunda, waiting for the station to glitch and reveal the hidden signal. I waved my arms around, spanning them about my body like a child pretending to be an airplane, and hummed along to the swelling of the string choir. MacCready kicked at the rubble and picked up some junk from the ground, inspecting it before throwing it over his shoulder. I couldn't help but notice the dejected look on his face, which made me feel a pull towards him, like he had me tied to a rope. I tried to casually swing by him.

"You okay?" I asked him, letting my limbs hang by my side.

"Yeah," He shrugged. "Just thinking about Duncan. I hope he's alright."

I felt my stomach twist. I could relate to his anxiety. "Look, as soon as this Courser is dealt with, we can head over to Med-Tek and grab that cure."

"No, it won't be that easy," He sat down on the bricks and leant his head into one of his hands, his other hand playing with the dirt on the ground. "I can't just walk up to those Ferals and shoot them down like I do with Raiders. This is bigger than that. I'm… I'm a coward."

I popped my armour open and stepped out so that I could sit next to him properly and speak to him face-to-face. I punched him on the arm playfully, earning a tiny smile. "We will go there, we will kick some Feral ass, and we'll get that cure. But – we do it in your time. When you're ready."

MacCready turned to look at me, a familiar expression washing over his face. A tingle flitted through my body. "Stop saying things like that, please."

"Why?"

"You're making me crazy," He laughed. "Look, I appreciate it, I really do. In fact, I wanted to give you something. I'm not sure why… I just feel like I want you to have it, in case something ever happens."

He reached into his pants pocket and revealed a small, wooden figure. It looked like a toy solider, with a painted colonial coat and musket. He extended his arm, holding the solider out to me, his hand shaking. I took the solider and gasped at the exceptional detail, realising that this must have been hand-carved with delicate hands.

"Did you make this?" I offered, unconvinced.

"Do I look like an artist?" He smirked. "No, I didn't. Uh, Lucy did."

I gulped, knowing the answer to my next question already. "Who's Lucy?"

"My wife."

A silence hung over us now. I rolled the soldier over in my hands, unsure why he was gifting it to me. I wished I was back inside my armour, so I could cry. Of course, Duncan had to have a mom. What was I thinking, kissing MacCready? After what felt like forever, he cleared his throat and pointed at the toy, his eyes misting over.

"She made me that, because I told her I was a soldier." He croaked. "I didn't have the guts to tell her I was actually just a hired gun. She was too good for this world. She didn't understand all the death, all the killing. I couldn't tell her that's who I really was. It got even harder after Duncan was born. So, I pretended to be something that I wasn't."

"You lied?" I raised my brow a little, not sure what else to say.

"I know, I'm scum. We were too young, though. I wasn't mature. We grew up together in Little Lamplight, I was the mayor and she was the doctor. When we got too old and were kicked out at sixteen, we began wandering the Wastes for a while before deciding to settle down. Until then we'd only been best friends, but something changed. She made me feel like I could do anything, be anything. We were married a year later, and Duncan came along shortly after that. I had to keep up the pretence."

I nodded, understanding. I'd married Nate too young as well, believing that he was my everything at the time. MacCready and I, we were on the same page. "Did you ever tell her?"

Now his eyes began to water and he hung his head between his legs. "No. I guess it doesn't matter now, anyway."

"I'm…"

"She's dead."

"…sorry."

Again, I had guessed what he was going to say, trying to apologise for my arrogance before he had to say the words. I saw him wipe at his face, hiding his tears from me. Where had this come from? Why was he telling me all of this? The only thing I could think to do was hold him, so I moved forward and wrapped both of my arms around him. He tensed at first, then fell limp into me, his shoulders shaking. I held him silently for a while, letting him get it out of his system. I wanted to tell him that I knew what he was feeling, but I wasn't about to humour him with false connection. Sure, my husband had died, but losing him was like losing a friend. I missed him so goddamn much and it hurt every day. But MacCready had lost his soul mate, his lover, his everything.

And now his son was sick. I wanted to cry with him.

Eventually he picked himself up and gently tugged away from my embrace. "I'm sorry for giving you my life story."

"I don't mind," I whispered. "I… really care about you."

He gave a short laugh. "I'm not sure why, but thanks. I guess I should tell you what happened. We'd lived on a small farm for a really long time, but after Duncan was born, Raiders saw us as an easy target and kept attacking the place. I could fend them off, don't get me wrong – but they started attacking when they knew I wasn't there. It was scaring Lucy, so we decided to find somewhere new. Ironically, we'd heard about this 'Jewel of the Commonwealth', and thought it was a great idea to make our way there."

"Diamond City," I breathed.

"I know, right?" MacCready shook his head. "Anyway, one night we made the stupid decision to hole up in a subway station. I didn't know it was infested with Feral Ghouls."

A piece of the puzzle clicked in my mind. The reason why he was so afraid of them.

"They were on her before I could even fire a shot," He explained, hands shaking again. "They ripped her apart, right in front of me. There was so much blood… it was all I could do to escape with Duncan in my arms. I never even got to bury her."

"I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay, I'm okay. I'm not even sure why I'm acting like this; she died a long time ago and I mourned her. The guilt of it all, I guess. I made a little cross out of driftwood and planted in the ground outside the new home I found for us. A hidden oasis, once home to some crazy cult. Don't know what happened to them, but I don't care. That's where Duncan is now, with my friend Sammy. Daisy sends Caravans to the Capital Wasteland, so they make a pit stop there and I can send caps and food. One day, I'll go back myself, cure in hand."

I smiled at the thought of him retuning to his boy, making things right, however, a dreaded idea lingered at the back of my head. I couldn't help but ask. "When you do, will you stay there? A hidden oasis sounds pretty good."

MacCready looked into my eyes now, a sadness lingering in his. "I don't know anymore."

A high-pitched beeping cut off our conversation, and I snapped my head up towards the Power Armour I'd abandoned. "The signal. It's found a Courser."

MacCready stood quickly, wiping his face once again and straightened his cap. "Let's go."

We followed the signal all the way to Greenetech Genetics, a tall sky-scraper just a few blocks east from the C.I.T. ruins. I'd never really known what this place was built for before, only guessing that it was some kind of lab for testing unknown substances on unfortunate subjects. Now that the entire building was occupied by skeletons and dust mites, I was never to know. The entrance was already open, the door slightly ajar, as if someone had got here just before us before us. The reception area was empty, however, but the signal tracker was going crazy. There was definitely a Courser in here somewhere. Gunfire came from the floor above us, and we heard the shouts and screams of people in combat. A pained voice was yelling through some kind of intercom, echoing around us. "The Courser is on the second floor! Use everything you've got, don't let him get any higher!"

"This sounds promising," MacCready joked, but there was no laughter in his voice. "Come on, this way."

We climbed some stairs to the second floor. At the top, there was a woman in a dark green uniform, holding a rifle in front of her and firing rapidly. I knew that uniform – I glanced over to MacCready, his face scrunched up in anger, teeth clenched.

Gunners.

#####

 **MACCREADY**

Those sons-of-bitches, the Gunners, were here too! I knew that these ones shouldn't have recognised me, but I tensed at them all the same. Veronica looked at me with her armoured face and I couldn't help the anger from spilling out of every pore in my body. It wasn't her fault. I just wanted to get away from these maniacs. Still, this was the perfect opportunity to either get on their good side or gun down a few more assholes. I made a gesture for Veronica to get low and we crouched, taking the steps as quietly and slowly as we could so that I could sneak up on the woman in front.

As we neared the top, she spotted us and whirled around, the barrel of her gun now aimed squarely at me. I raised my hands in protest, making sure to show her that I wasn't about to blow her head off. "Whoa, we're here to kill the same guy!"

"Who the fuck are you?" She barked, not letting up.

"Just trust us," Veronica soothed. "We just want to get to that Courser."

The Power Armour probably wasn't giving off the same vibes. The woman seemed to consider her options for all of two seconds before pulling the trigger, but the bullet punched the ceiling above me instead – in the same instance she had shot, an explosion from the left blasted her from her position, knocking off her aim.

We rounded the corner to see what had happened, seeing her unconscious on the floor. "Okay, she didn't like us."

"We've got company!" The intercom voice came back to life. "Everyone on the third floor prepare for the Courser. Do not let him get any further. Willis, move your team down and take care of the two dipshits on floor two!"

"I guess that's us," I sighed. "So much for being on our side. Ready to kill a bunch of Gunners?"

Veronica cocked her laser pistol. "Sure."

The rest of the journey to the top floor was far easier than I'd been expecting. The men who had been sent down to terminate us put up a good fight, but made the mistake of underestimating Veronica's stalling technics. She got them talking at first, mocking them for letting one synth brutalise an entire squadron. The leader of this particular group, Willis, took the bait like it was candy. As he degraded her and described all the things he was _going_ to do to her, I quickly sniped him in the head and she shot the rest of them down with me before they could even react. The rest Gunners were pretty occupied trying to take down the Courser, who must've only been a few steps ahead of us. It was simply a case of sneaking up on them and taking them out one by one, as silently as possible, using the noise from their fight to cover our tracks.

Eventually, we made it to the final floor, hearing voices as we approached the only room with a light on. Veronica leant against the wall and snuck her head around the corner, then nodded at me.

"I'm going to get in there, it's just a matter of time." A cool voice was saying. "Give me the password."

"I told you, I don't have it!" Another spat, the same guy from the intercom. "And anyway, we took the girl fair and square. You can have her, but we need compensating."

"You're in no position to negotiate."

"Okay, okay! Let me think…"

Veronica stood now, laser pistol at the ready, and turned the corner into the room. I followed suit, keeping my rifle close. Inside there were three Gunners, the commander and two who were tied up and gagged. The Courser stood between them, wearing a long black coat and boots. He held a strange, plastic gun in his hand, pointing it at the commander. Behind them there was a window, with a girl in her early twenties sat at a table. She was crying.

Everyone turned to look at us as we came closer. The Courser had no expression – I knew he was a synth, but damn did he look human. Although, there was something about him. His skin was too clean, too smooth. His hair was too perfectly placed.

"Oh, hello." Veronica smiled sweetly at them, aiming her gun in their direction.

The Courser blinked once, then stretched his arm out and shot the commander dead. I winced at how cold it was. An execution. He was showing us that he had no mercy in him. Veronica jumped a little, but kept her cool. Only a few days ago, that would have shaken her to her core.

"You've been tracking me." The synth stated. "Why?"

"Uh…" Veronica swallowed. "I need something of yours."

"So, you're not here for the girl?" He replied. The gagged Gunners were murmuring now, struggling against their restraints; it was clear to them that they were not getting out of this alive. The girl in the locked room had got up from the table, now pressing both hands against the glass with concern.

"We don't even know who she is," I piped up. "Why do you want her so badly?"

"It is my duty as a Courser to retrieve lost synths and bring them back to the Institute. Once I have opened this door, I will declare her recall code and she will shut down. I will then return her safely. You two, however, will die like the rest of them."

"Oh, please." I laughed. "As if we're going to let you kill us."

"MacCready," Veronica stuttered. "What do we do?"

The Courser added some fusion cells to his gun – now I knew it was a laser rifle – and grabbed something from his pocket. A malicious smile spread across his face and he squeezed whatever it was in his hand.

And disappeared.

"Shit!" Veronica yelled. "He can make himself invisible, Virgil warned me about this!"

As she finished that sentence, a laser beam came from nowhere – I ducked just in time, as Veronica screamed and ran for cover. I turned to where it had come from, seeing a faint blur at the side of me. The Courser wasn't completely invisible! His body could just about be seen, like heatwaves on a horizon. I squinted as he began to move around me and fired at him. I knew for a fact that I was hitting the target, but still he continued, firing back at me.

A laser grazed my side and I cried out. The pain was like being set on fire. I couldn't let it take me down. Veronica was shooting at the Courser now too, having also figured out how to spot him. As one of her beams hit him, the invisibility device faltered and he was revealed in full once again. Not taking any chances, I pointed my gun at his chest and fired three times in succession. The synth's body exploded shrapnel and wires, sparks flying out of his chest like tiny fireworks. He slumped to the ground.

"No," He said once, clear as a bell, before his eyes closed and his body made a strange whirring noise.

"We did it!" Veronica laughed. "I thought we were dead meat, for sure."

"Yeah," I agreed quietly, noticing that the hostage Gunners had been caught in the crossfire. Why did I feel pity for them? My side burned so I injected myself with a stimpak.

Veronica was rifling through one of their bags, picking out ammo, when she lifted a small piece of paper up. "I think this might be the password. We should let that poor girl out."

I nodded and stooped down to the Courser, looking for a way into his head to take the chip, whilst she pushed digits into the door's security and opened it up. I could hear them talking in the other room as I extracted the chip from the Courser.

"What the hell am I doing?" I spoke to myself. Taking down that Courser was making the whole situation real; I was going to help someone infiltrate the Institute. The big bad wolf everyone in the Commonwealth were so scared of. There would be hundreds more Coursers there, as well as other nasty shit. And we were going to just walk right up to the front door? I shook my head. Well, if Veronica was willing to kill Gunners and Ghouls for me, I had to do the same for her.

Besides, I wanted to do everything and anything for her.

She bounded over to me now, as the girl ran for the exit. I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh, she was most definitely a synth," She explained. "Apparently she escaped the Institute as soon as she learned that fact. I told her to get out of here before they send another Courser."

"Good call," I agreed. "Here's that chip you wanted. Not sure where you're going from here, though."

"Virgil said to take it to someone who could analyse it and build a relay. The only person I know who would be willing to help us is Dr Amari."

"Back to Goodneighbor it is, then."


	13. I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire

_I don't want to set the world on fire  
I just want to start a flame in your heart  
In my heart I have but one desire  
And that one is you, no other will do_

 **VERONICA**

"I'm sorry, Veronica, but I really would have no clue where to even start with this."

We were sat with Dr Amari in her lab whilst she pinched the Courser chip between her fingers and squinted at it with confusion. My shoulders dropped, as if I had been holding the tension there the entire journey. The trip, although relatively danger-free, had still taken most of the day from us; the sun had just begun to set as we'd entered Goodneighbor, leaving a slight chill in the air. As soon as we had arrived, I had taken the Power Armour off and stretched my arms before launching into a fully detailed report of what I'd had seen in the Glowing Sea. Amari had drunk the information up, clearly fascinated. However, once we had handed over the chip, she had simply shrugged at us and sighed.

"This technology is beyond me." She concluded, passing the tiny piece of circuitry back to us. "It was a fluke that I was able to help last time, purely due to circumstance. I really am sorry."

"There's nothing you can do?" I pressed, unable to hide the pained look on my face.

"No, but…" Amari bit her lip and then lowered her voice. "I know a group of people that may be able to help. They call themselves the Railroad; they dedicate their lives to rescuing and rehabilitating synths who have escaped the Institute. From what I gather, they know more about how the Institute works than anyone else in the Commonwealth."

"Great," MacCready stood, ready to leave. "Point us in the right direction, doc."

"Oh, I don't know where they are," She frowned. "They like to keep themselves incognito. The only way to locate them is to follow the freedom trail."

I stood now, too. "Follow the freedom trail?"

"It's a riddle. There are markings all over the Commonwealth. I believe that the trail starts near Park Street Station."

"That's where Skinny Malone operated." I reminded MacCready. "We should go over there now and search for clues."

Amari nodded and moved towards a door at the far end of the lab. "Very well. First, though, I would like it if you could step into this room and take some Radaway, since your body may be suffering from the time you spent in the Glowing Sea. There's also a bath tub and some clean water in there if you wish to use it. Take some of the spare clothes, you must hate to have worn that jumpsuit for so long."

"Oh, my God yes!" I practically jumped with giddiness, making MacCready laugh. "I will definitely take you up on that offer. I haven't bathed in… well, 200 years!"

After taking some Radaway, I drew myself a shallow bath, not wanting to use all of the water as it was bottled rather than sourced from any kind of indoor plumbing. As I laid there, enjoying the feeling of being relaxed, I thought about all that I'd achieved so far. We were edging ever closer to the ultimate goal of finding and taking Shaun. I could feel the hope rising up inside my body, so much so that I thought I might float away like a balloon. In the other room, I could hear MacCready and Amari mumbling, but was unable to make out anything. I wondered how he was doing, considering not long ago he had been an emotional wreck. My heart stuttered in my chest at the thought of his pain, and I knew right then that I had to talk to him about what had happened earlier. With the imminent break in of the Institute on my shoulders, I knew that now was the time to put all of my cards on the table.

I was sick and tired of pushing my feelings down into a deep pit. I had to learn how to compartmentalise my emotions, allow myself a glimpse of happiness during this stressful time.

When I was done washing up, I grabbed the first set of clothes that fit me – a faded red shirt and a pair of jeans with holes in the thigh – and burst into the other room, feigning a yawn.

"I am so freaking tired," I announced. "Is there somewhere we can crash for the night?"

"I'm hoping I still have my room at the Rexford Hotel," MacCready suggested. "We can head over now and find the Railroad first thing in the morning."

I nodded appreciatively and we made a move. My heart began to beat wildly as we entered the hotel foyer. The woman at the front desk handed him a key whilst giving me serious side-eye, most likely presuming that I was just some floozy he'd picked up at the bar. She warned him that if he left his key here for over a week without notice one more time, she'd be forced to give up his room for other paying customers. He just flashed her his boyish grin, flicked a few caps in her direction and tipped his hat – earning a roll of the eyes from her.

Once in his room, he announced that he needed to freshen up, dumping his ragged coat onto the floor and heading into the bathroom. I was left alone to observe my surroundings, taking in the stained carpet, damp covered walls and the single rickety bed that sank into the shadows. There were no windows, no decorations and nowhere to put any belongings besides a yellow suitcase in the middle of the floor. I wondered if MacCready had brought them from home.

As I listened to the sound of a sink being filled in the bathroom, I made my way over to the bed to take a seat, having to step over the suitcase to get there. As I pulled my leg over, I knocked the top layer of clothing over and a piece of crumpled up paper rolled across the rug. The sink had finished being filled and I could hear the splashing of water – I had time to quickly peek at the note.

It was clearly written by a child. _See you real soon, dad,_ accompanied by a scribbled drawing of a man with superhuman muscles. I realised that this must've been from Duncan, a goodbye message to the man he thought of as a hero. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I quickly threw the note back into the suitcase, covering it with clothes, afraid that MacCready would be angry at my nosiness. Suddenly feeling out of place, I opted to hover by the back wall, fiddling with my holster. I had been carrying my vault suit under my arm, so I bent down to place it on the floor, standing upright just in time to see MacCready exiting the bathroom, wiping his face with a cloth. He'd taken his hat off too, not wearing just a dirty white t-shirt and crumpled black pants. If it weren't for the stern facial hair, he would've seemed a lot more approachable than usual. I guessed it was always good to look the part.

He walked over to me and pointed at the bed. "You can take that, I'll sleep on the floor. I've had worse nights."

"Are you sure?" I stuttered, feeling vulnerable.

"Yeah, no sweat. I'd feel safer with a rocky ceiling above my head," He was joking about his old home in Little Lamplight, but when I didn't laugh, he looked at me with genuine concern. "Are you okay?"

I pushed hair behind my ears and blushed a little, acting like a school girl about to confront her crush. In a way, that's exactly what was happening.

"Listen," I looked to the floor, finding the words difficult to say. "I wanted to talk to you about our… moment, this morning."

"Ah, man," MacCready winced. "You don't have to say anything. I was out of line, I know that. It's just that… well, now this seems like I'm pointing out the obvious, but… I kind of like you. So, I was worried when you went off with that Danse guy on what felt like a suicide mission. I thought you might die in the Glowing Sea, and you didn't. Then I thought you might hate me when I told you about Duncan, and you didn't. So, it was just a spur of the moment, dumb idea. Let's just forget about it, okay? I like having you around and I wouldn't want to do anything that might jeopardise our friendship."

I closed my eyes at that, a wave of nausea creeping over me. Heat prickled at my cheeks. "That's the thing, though. I was hoping… well, I was hoping that we could be more than friends."

There was a silence at first, until I cleared my throat, trying to keep the lump there at bay. I opened my eyes again to find that he had taken a slight step back, a look of confusion on his face.

"I didn't realise you felt that way about me." He croaked so quietly that I had to strain to hear him. "But what about your husband? You still love him, don't you?"

I grimaced now, unsure if I could bring myself to talk about something I'd suppressed for such a long time. I rubbed my forehead and tried to find the right words to say without coming off as a heartless bitch. "MacCready… I did love Nate, when we first met. I was a rich girl and he came from nothing, so my parents didn't approve and that made him appealing. He signed up for the army which meant that I didn't see him for months on end, making the whole romance even more exciting. When he was injured and was forced to retire, he proposed and we bought a house. By this time, my parents had accepted him and life should've been great. But I realised that I wasn't in love with him. I was trapped, suffocating. I grew bored and would drink heavily, causing arguments. Having Shaun was supposed to change things, I was going to try harder to play the part of doting wife and mother – and then the bombs fell."

I swallowed hard, knowing that this was the first time I'd properly spoken about my past. It was the first time I'd admitted this to anyone at all. MacCready was staring into my eyes, listening intently, sending a tingling sensation down my spine.

"So, yeah," I concluded. "He died and I mourn him, but… he is literally the epitome of the past to me. I have the chance to start a new life now."

"We're like two sides of the same coin," He offered. "Our stories are the same and different, all at once. Wait, no, you don't realise the things I've done, Veronica. I'm literally a killer. I kill for money."

"You do what you can to get by," I shook my head. "Admittedly, at first I didn't appreciate your talent. But without it, where would you be now? Dead, maybe? And your son? You earn that money, no matter how, for Duncan. I would kill for my boy, too."

MacCready still looked confused and that's when it hit me – he didn't understand how anyone could feel anything towards him. Even after Lucy, he still didn't know his own worth.

"I'm just done with beating myself up about this," I found myself whispering. "I'm done with hiding how you make me feel. So… if you want me, I'm yours."

His eyes seemed to twinkle and he gulped, breathing becoming heavier. Then, he pushed me into the wall, his lips colliding with mine. I moaned at the surprise but melted into it, parting my lips to allow his tongue to dance with my own. A shock of electricity flooded my system as his hands touched my sides, my hips, my thighs, everywhere. Just like this morning, I felt myself wanting to crush into him, pulling at his clothes to bring him closer; he responded by hastily tugging his t-shirt off, throwing it over his shoulder carelessly. I reached for my own shirt, ripping at the buttons and shrugging it off so that our bare chests could touch.

I was taken aback by just how soft his lips were as he began to nibble at my neck. I hadn't had enough time to process it last time, and for some reason I'd expected him to have a certain rough quality – he was, after all, a hardened mercenary trying to survive a harsh and unforgiving world. But his movements were gentle yet firm, commanding without being aggressive. I used my hands to feel all of him, running them up and down his back, over his head and through his hair. All of my senses were on fire, my mind empty of all thoughts except him, only him. I clutched his hair now and began to slide along the while, guiding him over to the bed.

We collapsed onto the sheets, rolling together so that I was under him, our legs intertwined. He suddenly pulled away from our kiss, allowing me to gasp for breath. There was a hunger in his eyes I'd never witnessed before, but also a kindness.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked, stroking my face with his free hand as the other held him steadily above me.

I smiled at him and breathed my reply. "Yes."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

What followed that answer was the single greatest night of my life. We spent hours fooling around in the sheets and getting to know each other both physically and mentally. In between rounds of passion, we told each other our fears and secrets, for once feeling comfortable enough to do so. It was almost as if we had become one person, beating to the same rhythm, able to let down those walls that we'd built up around us. She asked me about Lucy, saying that it was good to talk about it, so we did. I remembered how pretty she was, how kind and good she was, how she was my rock. Then I told Veronica that _she_ was my rock now, she was beautiful and caring but also badass and tough. I told her how lucky I was to have met her, how strange the universe was for bringing her to me.

Veronica told me everything she could about Shaun, all about his first smile and how tiny he was when she'd last held him. She told me about all the things they would do together once they were reunited.

We laughed, we cried, we comforted each other. I'd never felt so shaken and so alive.

In the morning, having had maybe an hour's sleep in total, a wake-up call from outside the room forced us to face the new day. We were laid naked, tangled in sheets, with her head on my chest. Her eyes fluttered open seconds after mine and she smiled at me lazily. "Is it time to go already?"

"Sure is," I yawned. "We need to get a move on if you want to catch that road to freedom."

She looked at me quizzically before understanding. "The freedom trail, right."

I nodded and we slowly began to move – seeing our bodies in the harsh light of day made me uneasy at first, but she turned to me and planted a soft kiss on my cheek, reminding me that it was all okay. Letting her get close to me was okay.

#####

The sun was still on its way up the sky by the time we'd made it to Park Street Station. Veronica had changed back into her jump suit, stating that the whole 'vault dweller' thing gave her more of a sympathetic look – after all, we didn't expect the Railroad to just welcome us with open arms and agree to help us build a teleporter. Plus, Dr Amari had warned us that the only chance we had of even being able to speak with them was to act as though we wanted to join them. Veronica hadn't liked the idea of lying at first, before realising that it could be our only choice. Once at Boston Common, by the subway station, we began to search the ground for markings, straight away noticing the metal drain on the floor that had been graffitied with the letter 'A' – a red line of paint led from there to another grate, and before we knew it, we were following the trail.

The track led us to an old, decaying church basement that led to a series of underground tunnels weaving beneath Boston. The letters we had been recording spelled out 'the railroad', which turn out to be a password of sorts that we needed for a stone wheel at the end of the path. Once turned correctly according to the lettering, one of the cavern walls revealed itself to be a hidden entrance. The whole adventure was ludicrous and random, but then I'd known for a while now that these Railroad loons were paranoid and secretive. I should've expected some stupid little game.

We stepped through the wall into pitch black darkness, only for our eyes to be blinded by a sudden intense light. As my pupils adjusted to the change, I could just make out three figures standing by a spotlight a few feet ahead. Two of them were definitely aiming guns at us.

"Stop right there!" A woman shouted. "You must've gone through a lot of effort to meet with us, but first I must ask you some questions. Who the hell are you?"

"And here I was thinking that the Railroad were recruiting." I answered in a snide tone.

"We followed the freedom trail," Veronica cut in. "We're not your enemy."

"Well, it is clear that you're not with the Institute," The woman replied. "Who told you to contact us?"

"Dr Amari, in Goodneighbor. She said that you might be able to help us. We actually want to help in your fight against the Institute."

There was a little murmuring before the spotlight was switched off, sending dancing lights around my vision. The woman ahead beckoned us. "Come forward."

She was an older woman with copper hair and a harsh face, lined by what I assumed was years of smoking. Beside her stood and tall, beefy woman holding a minigun and a smaller but just as aggressive looking man with a rifle. As we approached, she outstretched a hand. Veronica took it warily and they shook. "I must apologise for all of the questioning, but you've reached our HQ and not many strangers make it this far. My name is Desdemona and I'm the leader of the Railroad."

"Pleasure. I'm Veronica and this is MacCready."

I shook her hand too, but she didn't seem as impressed by me. I just couldn't shake that mercenary first impression. I raised my eyebrows at the female bodyguard, earning a glare in return.

"Are you going to let her in then, boss?" Another voice came from around a corner, and an unarmed slacker in a leather jacket and boots entered the area, smoothing his quiff with a slick hand. He winked at me as he walked past, throwing an arm around Veronica. I tapped my rifle, itching to pick it up. Desdemona rolled her eyes and looked at the man pointedly.

"This is Deacon," She offered. "Deacon, take your hands off of her."

"I'm just saying!" He removed his arm and held his hands up in innocence. "You don't want to turn away the Courser killer, do you?"

Veronica shifted uncomfortably. "How did you know about that?"

"You've got a Courser chip too, right?" Deacon smirked. I hated the fact that he was wearing sunglasses underground, where there was no sun. I wanted to wipe that smile from his face. "Yeah, we've been watching you. Well, I have. Ever since you walked into Goodneighbor for the first time. Had to keep a Vault Dweller on our radar."

"Deacon." Desdemona hissed. "I'm sorry. You have to understand, we're an underground organisation. If we notice any unusual activity, we send someone up to monitor it."

"And boy, does this gal mean business!" Deacon praised. "She killed Kellogg, too."

Apparently, this was all it took for the leader of the Railroad to invite two unknown Wastelanders into the headquarters of her top-secret group of dorks. After being led through more tunnels, we eventually made it to a cavernous space that had been kitted out into an actual working office space. There were monitors everywhere and piles of tech. Roughly eight people occupied the area, clearly living where they worked, as each desk had a mattress behind it and shelves filled with food. I couldn't image being stuck in one place for all my life, trapped beneath the surface. In the middle of the room there was a large map of the Commonwealth drawn over a stone table, with markers in random spots. Desdemona invited us to join her by the map, leaning over it with an exasperated expression. Deacon leant against the table in the most chilled out way possible. I really didn't like this guy.

"So, if you want to join the Railroad, I must ask – how much do you know about synths?" Desdemona queried.

Veronica shrugged a little. "They're made by the Institute, replacing human beings for some reason. That's really as far as my knowledge goes."

"Synthetic humans." Desdemona breathed. "They're mostly organic, part machine. They think, they feel, they act just like you and me. The Institute treats them as property. Tools."

"Sounds like slavery, to me." I piped up.

"Exactly," The older woman nodded at me. "We seek to free the synths from their bondage. Give them homes and real lives. So, I must ask you a very important question. Would you risk your own life for that of a synth?"

"Are we talking first gen or…?" I argued.

"Just answer the damn question."

Veronica glanced at me. "It depends on the situation. But… yeah. I think I would."

"No chance." I shook my head.

"A pity," Desdemona looked down her nose at me now. "Yet, it was the exact answer I would expect from someone like you."

"Look, we can debate ethics another time," Veronica interjected, placing a hand on my arm to calm me. I took a deep breath, letting my anger fade as much as possible. "What is important right now is analysing this chip. Virgil said that it would contain some sort of code that I can use to get myself into the Institute."

"That is badass!" Deacon chimed in, his laugh like nails on a chalkboard.

"You want us to help you get inside that place?" Desdemona stared in awe. "You're mad. In any case, why would we allow you of all people? You're barely a trainee recruit."

"I've killed a Courser. I can handle whatever they throw at me. And… this is personal. It has to be me. Agree, or you don't get this chip."

The older woman scrunched her face up, exchanging a look with Deacon, before sighing in defeat. "Fine. But if I allow this, you must do something for us in return."


	14. Crazy, He Calls Me

_I say I'll care forever, and I mean forever  
If I have to hold up the sky  
Crazy, he calls me  
Sure, I'm crazy  
Crazy in love, am I_

 **VERONICA**

The next two weeks flew by in an ambivalent blur.

It turned out that all Desdemona wanted from me was to gather information from the Institute whilst I was there, by taking a blank holotape and downloading anything I could find on their database. I'd agreed purely so that she would build the relay and let me be the one to be zapped over, but I didn't really know how the hell I was going to pull something like this off. It was hard enough trying to imagine being alive long enough to locate Shaun, never mind a terminal that would have the data she required. After all, as soon as I stepped foot into their base, there would probably be intrusion protocols, guards and alarms. Even with all that, though, it wouldn't stop me from at least trying. I had to, for Shaun.

Unfortunately, building a molecular relay and decrypting a Courser chip was going to take longer than a day, so I'd left the blueprints in the capable hands of a quirky young man called Tinker Tom. He was dark skinned with a friendly face and wore a strange piece of equipment on his head at all times. Apparently, he was the smartest guy in the Railroad, and found the blueprints I gave him to be interesting and simple. He'd even installed a communicator within my Pip Boy so that he could let me know when the work was done, asking for a few weeks to gather materials and build. Desdemona and Deacon had asked if myself and MacCready wanted to help in their charitable efforts whilst we waited, but I didn't want to get too involved with the lie, so I had made up a story about needing to head home first. In private, MacCready had told me that it probably wasn't such a bad idea to go back to Sanctuary and rest for a few days.

"We've been none-stop for a while now," He'd murmured, brushing the hair from my face gently. "It would be good for you to unwind."

Once we'd got back to Sanctuary, however, the will of the people won me over. The entire street had now been fully converted into a breathing settlement, with a marketplace and food stalls, plenty of beds and even a working water purifier in the river behind my old house. The hustle and bustle caught in my stomach like butterflies, flooding me with the excitement at the possibilities there were in the Commonwealth. I'd bounded over to Preston, unbelieving at how he'd managed to transform such a drab wasteland into a haven, just like he'd promised.

"The Minutemen are back in business," He'd responded with pride. "I told you, it's not just about protecting the people. It's about rebuilding their homes and restoring their hope."

In an instant, I knew that I wanted to be involved. I accepted a place within his ranks, after consulting MacCready first, who had rolled his eyes with a smile and called me cute. He didn't want to be a part of it, didn't want to be associated with the name, which I could understand. So, I told him that he would simply be known as my bodyguard, as always, hired only to keep me alive and nothing more. I knew that secretly he would enjoy bringing joy back into people's lives, even if he didn't admit to it.

Our mission was easy enough – locate settlements and help to rebuild. We travelled across the Commonwealth, finding scraps of humanity scattered across the wastes, and guided them into better living. We helped plant farms, brought them Brahmin to breed and made huts for them to sleep in. After a while, people would ask us for favours – kill a few Raiders here, find a missing person there. As we kept moving, kept helping, that force that was driving me began to spread through them as well – many of our new-found friends declared that they, too, would join the Minutemen! The underdog army began to grow. We'd return to Sanctuary after every visit and report back to Preston, whose confidence began to blossom more and more.

Plus, my relationship with MacCready was heating up; we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. At every opportunity, I was pulling him into an abandoned shack, or he was pushing me into a dark corner. It felt so freeing and wonderful to be able to release myself like that, enjoy moments of pure pleasure in between making other lives better. I almost wanted to say that _my_ life was getting better.

But then I'd remember why I was here. Things would get dark again. I wouldn't be able to control the spiralling despair within.

We were strolling along a dusty road, on our way back from a lovely family up at Finch Farm, when MacCready finally called me on it. "Veronica, are you okay?"

I had almost been so lost in my thoughts that it made me jump to hear his voice. "Huh? Oh, yeah, of course I am."

"Because it's okay if you're not," He continued, pulling me from my walk and taking me in his arms. "I know it's tough, pretending that everything's fine, believe me. I've been there. Just… just remember that we will find Shaun. I promise you."

He embraced me and I nuzzled into his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body. "I know. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise, dummy." He smirked.

"Okay."

He frowned a little, then his eyes lit up. "Did you hear what people are calling you now? The Sole Survivor. You're turning into a legend out here."

"Really?" I smiled a little but my eyebrows were ruffled at the memory of being the only person to come out of Vault 111, besides my baby. "What do they call you?"

"The Sole Survivors' bodyguard."

"Stop joking around."

"I'm not! Look, you go around wearing a Vault suit, fixing people's problems and not asking for anything in return. You were bound to make a name for yourself." He kissed my forehead lightly. "Plus, it helps that Piper keeps running articles about your work. Who'd have thought I'd ever end up associating with the likes of you? I'm a no-good mercenary."

I crinkled my nose at him and gave him a real kiss, on the lips. "Who's to say I'm good? This could all be a ruse to make people like me, rank me higher and higher in the Commonwealth until I'm the undisputed Queen of the Wastes."

"Hmm…. Definitely sounds like something you'd do," He mockingly agreed. "Shame that I will eventually overthrow you and steal all your caps. Whoops, shouldn't have said that out loud!"

We laughed and continued our walk, now discussing all the things we'd do if we really were in charge of something big. Eventually, the vision of a building formed on the horizon and I squinted to see where we were. Currently in unfamiliar territory, I tapped my Pip Boy to life – I'd started marking everything I came across on the map to make it easier to locate various settlements in case of an emergency. Even having lived in Boston before the war ravaged the land, it was difficult to know exactly where I was now. Everything had changed, moved out of place, decayed. Often times, I'd kind of recognise something, like this building, but couldn't quite make sense of it. As we edged closer, MacCready tensed up and I realised in an instant that this was Med-Tek Research; the home of Duncan's cure, plus a whole host of nasty Feral Ghouls. I grabbed his hand, giving a quick squeeze.

"Did you know we were heading this way?" I asked him quietly.

"Yeah," He gulped. "I thought it was probably about time, you know?"

"I do."

He smiled down at me and grappled with his rifle, bringing it forward from where it was perched on his back. I let go of his hand and began to check my own laser rifle for ammo. The building itself was in pretty good condition all things considered – there were no caved in walls, no smashed windows. The grass surrounding had become twisted and overgrown, weeds stretching up the side of the structure and creeping around the roof. There were a couple of cars in what I assumed used to be the parking lot, but they were burnt out and rusted. MacCready took a deep breath and began forward, so I matched his pace and we strode towards the main entrance.

"My friend – the one who told me about the cure – he gave me passcodes to get in here." He was saying, speaking a little too fast. I could tell that he was panicking but didn't want me to know it, so I nodded along and let him explain. "I already tried my luck here a couple months back, so the security won't be an issue. We need to make our way down to the lab in the basement. We're looking for a vial labelled 'Prevent'."

I shuddered and swallowed down my anxieties, determined to be strong for him. I was the one to push open the massive double doors into the main hall of the building. I didn't know a lot about this place other that it was a pharmaceutical company before the war. Protestors used to line up outside because they were sure that subject didn't always participate in Med-Tek's experiments voluntarily – I guess now was my chance to find out for certain.

Scratching and growling came from somewhere nearby and I looked at MacCready uncertainly. He gave me a nervous smile and we began to sneak through the building. As we rounded a corner, the noise became louder, and I saw the first Feral Ghoul crouched in the middle of the floor, picking at a dead Radroach and sloppily consuming the rotten meat. A harsh stink of decayed flesh pilfered my sense and it was all I could do not to gag. Behind the Ghoul there was an airlock, to left a flight of stairs and to the right an open office. MacCready gave me a looked that told me he wasn't sure if he could go ahead, so I placed a hand on his shoulder and went forward for him, feeling him tug at my jumpsuit to try and pull me back. I snatched away from him, and quietly got closer to the Ghoul.

I wasn't making a sound, but the creature suddenly began to rise, turning around to face me. As soon as it saw me, it let out an inhuman cry and began to run in my direction. MacCready shouted my name from behind. I ignored him and lifted my rifle as steadily as possible, aiming at the head as much as I could, and pulled the trigger. The Ghoul stumbled backwards, clearly injured, but I'd only managed to blast a shoulder, knocking an arm from its body. Undeterred, it launched itself at me, swiping my chest with sharp nails. I gasped at the pain, looking down at the torn material of my suit, the blood seeping out. The Ghoul had fallen over as it had attacked, losing balance possibly due to the lack of a left arm, and was trying to scrabble to its feet again. MacCready kicked its head as hard as he could, stood on its chest and shot it in the forehead from point blank range, before running over to me.

"Jesus, Veronica!" He berated me, pulling a stimpak from his jacket pocket. "You're crazy! What were you thinking?"

"I knew you were scared," I offered, wincing at the sting as the needle was injected into my stomach. "I just wanted to help."

"We work as a team." He snapped. I widened my eyes at the sudden change in his tone, not sure what to do other than play with the loose thread around my wound. He sighed and began to stuff the inside of my suit with cloth we'd been given by one of the settlers we'd helped. "I'm sorry, I just… It's just that… Well, Lucy…"

I thought about what he'd told me about Lucy being torn apart in front of his very eyes and leapt onto him, holding him as tightly as I could muster without hurting my injury. "I won't do it again, I swear. Now come on, where do we have to go?"

"Um," He wiped his eyes and pointed ahead. "Through the airlock, down an elevator. I never got any further than that last time."

The Ghoul had cut me pretty deep but not deep enough to disembowel me, luckily. I could feel the soothing pain relief of the stimpak swirling around inside, so the throbbing wasn't as bad as before. We moved through the airlock, which had been shut down a long time ago and was now probably filled with infectious air, into a large hall with several windowed doors around the edge. Each door had a Ghoul behind it, and several others were laid on the ground before us. I couldn't tell if they were dead, sleeping or what. MacCready signalled for me to be quiet and crouch, so I followed suit, and we began to walk through the hall to get to the elevator doors opposite. Ghoul's in the rooms around us were freaking out, banging on their windows with muffled screeches. I wondered if these were once the people who had been subjected to testing, now mutated beyond recognition. I shook the thought from my head and continued forward.

All at once, the bodies around us began to stir. MacCready's eyes widened, frantically scanning the room to count how many. Too many.

Without thinking, I began to shoot at the rising corpses', attempting to kill them before they were fully erect. MacCready must've agreed with this tactic, as he did the same, and several Ghouls dropped back to the floor. I counted at least thirty, though, our strategy only removing eight from the picture before a horde were running at us, screaming and hissing . I screamed too and tried to blast them as they sprinted at us, managing to get a couple but not all. MacCready grabbed my arm, now using his rifle with only one hand, which must've been a struggle in itself.

"Get to the elevator," He gasped. "Go, go, go!"

I nodded, looking at the Ghouls between us and the way out of the room. Dropping my guard, I began to run through the sea of dead things, pushing past them and trying to avoid getting bitten or swiped. It seemed to be working, the Ghoul's unable to register what I was doing until it was already done. They were spinning around to follow me, but I kept my head down and didn't look up until I had to press the elevator call button. MacCready was still firing behind me, the sound of bodies dropping to the floor giving a strange sense of comfort that I'd never thought it ever would. Soon, I could feel something close behind me just as the doors pinged open, and I swivelled around, whacking the unfriendly visitor with the butt of my gun and stepping backwards into the elevator. MacCready wasn't far behind, trying to fend off a small swarm of Ghouls as they surrounded him and reached out with their grubby claws to try and grab him. I pressed the button to keep the doors open as the elevator tried to resume normal service, then aimed at the creatures attacking my new partner and did my best to shoot them dead.

MacCready burst free of the last few, sliding into the elevator and slamming his palm into the 'close door' button. A Ghoul ran towards us, shoving its arms between the doors just as they were about to close, setting off the sensors. I kicked the horrible zombie in the torso, sending it flying backwards, and punched the basement button. The doors closed, and a sense of relief flashed through my body.

#####

 **MACCREADY**

As the elevator began to descend, I instinctively pulled Veronica into a hard kiss, pressing myself up against her and holding her face to mine. She reciprocated the kiss before sighing loudly.

"I'm hoping the lab will be Feral-free." She laughed a little, but it was hollow. I felt so guilty for bringing her here, to this awful place. It was worse than letting her help me with the Gunners.

"I can't believe I brought you here," I voiced my feelings, something that was becoming easier for me to do since we had decided to be together. "You're absolutely insane for agreeing to do this with me."

"Hey, you were willing to risk your life for me several times," She pointed out just as the elevator reached its destination. The doors opened and darkness greeted us.

Veronica turned her Pip-Boy light on, giving us a small, green-tinted visual of what was in front. It seemed to be a large space with a room in the centre, the walls of which were floor to ceiling windows. Inside I could see lab equipment and chemistry tables, shelves filled with vials and a desk covered in paperwork. Excitement tingled through my spine – I'd never got this far. Last time, I'd nearly been torn to shreds in the room above, having opted to run away and oppress my memories of Lucy's death rather than stand up and deal with the problem. I turned to Veronica now, who was staring at the lab with a quizzical expression. With her by my side, I knew I could take on the world. Fighting off Feral Ghouls may not have been a piece of cake, but she made me feel like I could do anything.

The lab was still in its original lockdown. I'd read on one of the terminals last time that a deadly strain of an old-world virus had been released, meaning that the poor worker inside that room had to seal himself in and put the building in quarantine. Obviously, he'd had enough antidotes to hand, but he needed someone outside of the building to open the doors up again once decontamination had set in. Unfortunately, that's where the blog entry had ended. I'd put two and two together and realised that the bombs must've gone off whilst the staff were waiting for the quarantine to be over, so they were trapped in here and left to decay in the fallout. Those that didn't instantly die became Ghouls, the unluckiest of the bunch becoming Feral.

That scientist that got stuck in the lab was still there, only now he was a charred, bloated Feral Ghoul, glowing a sickly green colour and currently slamming his body into the glass as he saw us approach. Veronica winced and made her way over to the terminal by the door.

"Why is this one glowing, might I ask?" She said as she began to type away at the computer, ready to hack her way into the lab.

"I don't really know," I shrugged. "Some of them glow. They almost emit radiation, so this is going to be really fun."

"Huh, fantastic." Her voice was laced with sarcasm. She finished up on the terminal and tentatively held the door handle. "Ready?"

"Ready."

She pushed the door open, and the screeching became audible. The Ghoul hissed and moved towards us, sending the rad meter on the Pip-Boy crazy. I shot at the creatures' head, remembering that blog entry and feeling awful that this was how a lifetime of dedication to his job had ended. It took four bullets to bring him down. Unaware of the Ghoul's backstory, Veronica casually stepped over his body and began to search the lab. I looked down at him, a sadness washing over me, before joining her.

"This is it," She breathed, holding up a small glass bottle filled with purple liquid. The label read 'Prevent' so I snatched it from her grasp, unable to stop the grin from spreading across my face.

"You did it," I gulped.

"We did it," She corrected. "There were some documents with it, apparently they were experimenting with creating a 'cure-all' antidote and this is the final form."

I grimaced. Would it be enough for Duncan? What if this was the finished product? But I couldn't let those thoughts plague me. I swept Veronica up into a hug that lifted her from the ground and planted as many kissed on her cheek as I could. As I set her back down on the floor, she beamed up at me, her gorgeous blue eyes sparkling. Another sudden and overwhelming emotion sparked through me as I realised what my next step was.

We took the elevator back up and had to face the remaining Feral Ghouls. This time felt easier, smoother and much more efficient. My fears were beginning to wane. I didn't care about that any more. I only had one thing on my mind.

Veronica said that we should head back to Sanctuary but I instead suggested Goodneighbor. I didn't tell her why. Surely, she must've already known. It didn't take long to get there, even though I'd tried to slow it down.

We entered my room at the Hotel Rexford and she began to undress. I eyed the wound on her stomach that she'd sustained earlier, guilt drowning me.

"Veronica…"

"Can you believe what we did today?" She cut me off, wiping some of the blood with a rag. "I'm so happy I could burst."

"Yeah, but…"

"You can enjoy the moment, you know. Just live it, MacCready."

"I know, but I have to talk to you."

She sighed and sat on the bed, patting the space next to her for me to join. "I know what you're going to say. I get it. You have to go back to Duncan now, it makes sense. I just didn't want to have face it. I'm sorry."

I put my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulder. "You could come with me?"

"I can't," She croaked. "I have to be here for when that relay is built. I need to bring Shaun home."

A silence hung over us as we contemplated what this meant. I knew that we had to go on separate paths now – would they ever convene again? Duncan wasn't going to recover overnight and even if he did, it wouldn't be fair of me to expect him to travel all the way to the Commonwealth for my own personal reasons when he had friends and roots in the Capital Wasteland. Plus, there was nowhere safer in all of post-apocalyptic America than that oasis I had him resting in. There was no way I would risk his life just so that I could have a relationship.

He still didn't understand what happened to his mom. I couldn't expect him to accept a new mom. I knew that as soon as I said my goodbyes to Veronica tonight, this was likely the last time I would ever get to see her. Tears were forming in my eyes so I took a deep, shaky breath and kissed her softly, slowly taking in her taste and feel. I didn't want it to end.

But it did.

As we pulled away, I could see that she was crying. I guess she was thinking exactly what I was, knowing that this was the last time.

"This was just a lust thing." Veronica wiped her eyes. "We were both lonely and needed to find comfort in each other. Now we have an opportunity for hope again and we shouldn't let a fling get in the way of that."

Lust. She believed that all I wanted from this relationship was closeness? I felt hurt but knew that it was best to let her think that way, so that it would be easier for me to leave.

Easier for me to abandon the love of my life just when she needed me the most.

Duncan needed me more.

To hell with what I needed.


	15. Mighty, Mighty Man

_Well, when there's work to do, send for the mighty one  
Yes, when there's work to do you better send for the mighty one  
Yes, he'll stay on the job, until the job is done_

 **MACCREADY**

I didn't sleep all night. My body was drenched in sweat, my mind filled with turmoil and my mouth dry. After Veronica had told me that she knew I had to leave, I'd suddenly lost all the words I'd wanted to say to her. I was planning on telling her that I loved her, telling her that although this was goodbye, I would never forget how she'd changed me. Before her, I had no faith in anyone, not even myself. Now, I'd been helping rebuild settlements, getting involved with the take-down of a notoriously dangerous organisation – I'd even stopped demanding caps every time a citizen of the Commonwealth asked for help. I no longer classified myself as a gun-for-hire, I no longer valued myself as little as dirt. When I got back to Duncan, I was going to turn my life around. And it was all thanks to the eerily beautiful Goddess that was currently entangled in my arms and legs.

Unfortunately, she couldn't possibly be in love with me. She'd described our relationship as 'lustful' and a fling. I could see it now, that I was simply a stress toy for her. Not that totally minded being her stress toy, because she treated me better than any other godforsaken person in this hell-hole of a world. Damn, I was going to miss her.

That day when she'd first walked into my spot at the Third Rail. The way she'd acted like a deer in the headlights, stood out from the rest with her clean skin and sparkling eyes. How she hadn't known how to aim a gun, or how to control recoil. How she'd offered to take down the Gunners, and pulled through. How she'd put her own plans on hold to help me get a cure for my son. These were all the things I would remember her for.

I couldn't stay here any longer. I knew that if I did, I wouldn't ever leave. It was selfish of me to choose her over my own flesh and blood. Duncan was all that really mattered in my life and I had to be a decent father for once. I slowly and quietly removed myself from Veronica's body and began to dress. Her wound was seeping through the fresh bandages she'd applied last night – I hoped she'd see an actual doctor about that after I was gone, before it got infected.

Daisy's store was just opening by the time I'd got down to the main square. She frowned at me as I approached, and began to put some of her goods out for display on the counter.

"You're up early, MacCready," She observed, her voice as gravelled as ever. "Need some supplies?"

"Well, I would say I need my usual, but there's going to be some extra cargo this time." I smirked, rolling the vial of Prevent in my hand. She caught sight of it and her sunken eyes widened a little.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Yeah," I nodded, pocketing the item. "That's not all – I was hoping your caravan wouldn't mind taking me with it. I can go home now, Daisy."

She grinned widely and tucked a small piece of withered hair behind her ear. "That's great news. They'll be arriving in about an hour, I don't see it being a problem. Usually they'd ask for protection money, but you can handle yourself out there. I'm sure they won't mind at all."

"You're a doll."

So, for the next hour – maybe longer – I sat with Daisy and hoped that Veronica wouldn't wake up and come find me. I didn't think she would, or even if she did, I didn't think she'd do anything. I just couldn't face seeing her again. I was trying to make peace with this chapter of my life. It was bad enough that I was breaking my promise – I'd told her that I was going to stay until Shaun was home. I was usually a man of my word; any job I was given, I finished. This was different, though. I had to be responsible, even if that meant tarnishing my reputation.

I ate some Sugar Bombs, stocked up on ammo and as soon as the Caravan arrived, I set off back to my old life. Only this time, things were going to be different. Butterflies filled my stomach at the thought of seeing Duncan again. I hadn't had a letter back from Sammy in a while to tell me how he was, but that was okay. Daddy was finally coming home.

#####

 **VERONICA**

I was having the same nightmare that had plagued me every night since I'd been unfrozen – reliving that horrible moment in my life where Nate was shot and Shaun was taken. Only this time, my dream-self was desensitised to the whole event. I didn't try to break through the glass of my cryo pod, I didn't scream when my husbands lifeless body hit the floor. At the end, MacCready opened my pod, flashed me a cheeky grin and offered to help me forget about my past and move on. In the corner of my eye, Shaun was being taken away. I wanted to turn and chase after him, but my stupid body was moving towards the mercenary. The more I tried to pull away from him, the more I was pushed by an invisible force.

I woke with a start, heart pounding so hard in my chest that I thought I wouldn't be able to catch my breath. I sat upright, wincing at the pain from my injury. My bandages were soaked with blood and I was feeling woozy. MacCready wasn't here, his side of the bed empty and cold. I pulled the covers up over my shoulders and began to cry.

I knew that the dream wasn't real. But a part of me had felt guilty for a long time that I hadn't got to Shaun yet. It wasn't anyone's fault, the teleporter wasn't ready yet, but should I really have let myself fall into MacCready's arms the way I had? I didn't know. I thought about how vulnerable he'd been, how he'd shared his deepest fears and regrets with me and always had my back. He was willing to take the fight to the Institute for me. He'd made a promise that he was sticking around until my son was home.

He'd broken that promise.

I berated myself and threw the sheets off of my body, shivering at the cold. How could I be so selfish? Of course, Duncan came first for him, I would never have forgiven him if he'd done it any other way. But did he really have to leave before I woke up? I wondered suddenly if I could still catch him up, so I hurriedly began to pull on the second-hand clothes that Dr Amari had let me take, ignoring the festering cuts on my stomach, and ran to the bathroom to wash my face.

A beeping from my Pip-Boy on the floor startled me. I grabbed it and checked the screen to see what it was. A single message flashed.

 _Relay is up and running. Report back to HQ immediately._

Tinker Tom had installed something on here so that we could communicate. A sense of hope flooded through me, then turning into nausea as I realised what this meant.

The teleporter was ready! I could finally infiltrate the Institute and find my son!

MacCready was gone and wouldn't be there by my side, every step of the way. I had to do this alone.

With huge gouges in my abdomen.

I was probably going to die.

#####

Deacon greeted me as I entered the Railroad headquarters, forcing me into an awkward hug and looking me up and down. I tried to remove myself from him, but he casually slid his arm around my shoulders and began to walk me towards the centre of the room, to where Desdemona was waiting for us.

"Nice threads!" He enthused. "I must say, I like you better in plaid than when you're wearing one of those tacky Vault suits."

"Not really important right now, but thanks." I shrugged him off and took my place next to Desdemona. "So, it's ready?"

"Yes, Tom managed to finish the build and we've turned it on as a test," She began. "The relay itself isn't here, it was far too big and needed to be out in the open to work. We set it up at an old abandoned plot of land up North, we're going to escort you there. Speaking of which, where's your, uh… friend?"

I looked to the floor, unsure how to answer that. So, I lied. "I ran out of caps."

"Typical merc. Only there when it benefits them. I'm sorry to hear that but it's no problem at all, we can send two of our finest guards with you."

"Who else is going?"

"Deacon offered," Desdemona smile, gesturing to the overly friendly man by my side. "Tom is already there, making sure it doesn't suddenly break on us. I really want to go but as leader of the Railroad, my place is here. I'll give you this holotape as we discussed, as soon as you get the information we need, you must report back here."

I took the holotape and pocketed it. "You got it."

She leant over her table map now, staring down at the little markers so that her eyes began to dart manically. "We're making history today. Somewhere on this map, I will finally be able to plant a giant red X on the Institute. You'll be the first non-synth to ever get in there. This is monumental."

"As if I didn't feel anxious enough," I mustered a nervous laugh. I found it odd that Desdemona hadn't once asked me what my personal beef with the Institute was. It was almost as if it didn't matter, so long as it helped the Railroads' cause. Was this exploitation? I couldn't say anything, of course. Without these people, none of this would be possible. I just wondered how pissed she was going to be when she found out that I didn't want to take part in the rest of her plans. Sure, I'd get her the data she required, but as soon as Shaun was in my arms once again, I was getting the hell out of the Commonwealth.

Maybe even visit the Capital Wasteland and get back to MacCready.

No, I couldn't think about him right now. I had to get him out of my head. I took a deep breath and clasped my hands together, trying to keep my balance as the gash on my stomach caused dizziness in my head. "Right, so when are we off?"

#####

It took us such a long time to get to the teleporter. We'd had to check in to every secret Railroad safehouse along the way to make sure that everything was okay, and Deacon had begun to 'train' me in the art of illusion and disguise. The more I pretended to care, the worse I felt about myself. I was going to have to double cross him one day. Was it really double crossing if I didn't bring them any harm? I'd never really agreed to do anything further than collect information with the holotape. I wasn't in a legal, binding contract. I thought back to my days as a lawyer, reminiscing about the loopholes and clauses that had got many of my clients off the hook. Yeah… if this was pre-war, I would not be held accountable. Too bad this was post-war and that the only laws left were 'every man for himself' and 'revenge is best served at whatever temperature you want to dish it out'. I imagined my failure to initiate into the Railroad may cost big. In all honestly, I was grateful for the little rest stops – my injury was getting worse and all I wanted to do was barf. I had no time to go to a doctor, not when I was so close to reaching Shaun.

Eventually we did arrive at the site of the relay machine – it was the remnants of a drive-in that was surprisingly close to my street. I hadn't told Desdemona that I was part of the Minutemen now, so I felt uncomfortable as we came close to Sanctuary. The machine itself was huge, noisy and not subtle at all. There was a platform surrounded by four large columns, reaching upwards until they came together at least fifteen feet in the air. Tubing and wires snaked around, with cables attaching the platform to a huge satellite dish and a control board. Tinker Tom was at the centre of it all, running around and muttering to himself, stopping only to scribble notes onto a scrap of paper. When he noticed me and Deacon arrive, he dropped everything and came rushing over, the metal headgear clanging as he bounced.

"Deacon, Veronica!" He shook our hands, excitedly. "I'm glad you made it. I managed to get the encrypted code from the Courser chip and have installed it within the mainframe of the machine. Unfortunately, I can't seem to get the damn thing to stabilise."

"What does that mean?" Deacon demanded, a serious tone to his voice for once.

"It just means that this is a one-time ride." Tom shrugged. "Once she's in there, I can't get her back out."

I froze to the spot for a second, considering the implications of this. "How am I supposed to report back with the holotape if you can't get me back here?"

"Part of the data you're going to collect will be schematics. I'm assuming that the Institute requires indoor plumbing, or else they're living in a dump. Hah."

"So, I get to travel through a waste pipe?" I sighed. "Fine. I guess it'll have to do. So, shall we begin?"

"Certainly! Please step onto the platform and make sure you have everything you need on you. Now, that top thing there is going to throw a beam of light at you, but don't panic, that's supposed to do that. The whole thing is probably going to make you throw up, so expect that… oh, and one more thing! No human has ever been teleported before, so we're not sure what it's going to do to you. Any questions?"

My jaw dropped as I shakily took my place on the platform. Oh, God, I was definitely going to die. I thought about whether or not this was all worth it, and then I thought of Shaun. Of course, it was worth the risk. "No questions. Let's go."

Tom nodded enthusiastically and started to type into the monitor of the control board. I was acutely aware that he was talking to me, but my hearing was becoming muted. A tremble started in my legs and another wave of nausea slapped my stomach – I was losing too much blood. Heart pounding, I tried to take calming breaths until my hearing started to come back. What was that I could hear? A countdown? A sudden bang from above snapped me out of it, and a large piece of tubing detached from the structure, flailing wildly to the side as smoke poured out. Tom didn't stop, he shouted that it was okay, but I knew that it wasn't going to be okay. Everything had been for nothing, I was going to be fried and my son was never going to be with me.

A flash of light impaired my vision and I tried to lift my arm to shield my eyes, but I couldn't move. Cemented to the ground yet feeling like I was floating, all I could do was let it happen.

The blinding light faded and my body felt as though it was suddenly dropped to the ground, only without the impact. It was such a strange feeling. My vision was blurry but I could make out that I was stood in a round room with an open archway in front of me. My stomach churned and I felt vomit hurdle towards my mouth, so I instinctively turned to my left and threw up. By now, I was starting to see better, so I frowned at my leavings and walked forward to exit the space I was in.

Was I here? Was this the Institute? No alarms had been sounded and there was no one around. The next room had a control panel and terminal, which I assumed was for the relay – this must've been where they sent of the Coursers. I wondered why no one was down here. An elevator stood at the far end, but not just any old elevator – this was a round, glass tube with a single red call button. I raised my eyebrows, eager to use it and get up to my boy, but I knew that I couldn't leave here without Desdemona's information. I turned my attention to the terminal and slotted the holotape into the port. Fortunately, this computer held a lot of useful data, including schematics that showed me exactly where the Institute was.

It was underground.

I was stood beneath the CIT building. The bastards had been hiding below the Commonwealth this entire time, like a colony of rats. I brought my fist down on the panel, unable to control my rage. After that, I collected more data on synth retention, Courser plans and more. When I was done, I pulled the holotape out and swivelled towards the elevator. This was it! I'd come so far. There was no turning back now. As I reached forward for the call button, the voice of an old man boomed around me, so that I jumped back and cried in shock.

 _Hello._


	16. Accentuate the Positive

_You've got to accentuate the positive  
Eliminate the negative  
Latch on to the affirmative  
Don't mess with Mister In-Between_

 **VERONICA**

I spun around quickly, trying to find where the voice was coming from. Oh, God, I wasn't ready for this. I knew that arriving in an empty room with a convenient terminal was too good to be true. My head spun and I felt the urge to vomit again, but I swallowed it down and took a tentative step towards the elevator, it's circular glass frame seeming to mock me now.

 _I wondered if you might make it here. You're quite resilient. I am known as Father; the Institute is under my guidance. I know why you're here. I'd like to discuss things with you face-to-face. Please, step into the elevator._

That voice again. I was sick and tired of everyone being one step ahead of me! It was just like my meeting with Kellogg, just like my meeting with Deacon and the Railroad. Everyone had been spying on me from the start. Perhaps nowhere was really safe? Had I ever done anything without being watched? Before me, the elevators doors opened by themselves; a gesture for me to go on? Confused, I stepped inside the glass, barely having time to take a breath before it began to rise. I wasn't sure what the transparent nature of the elevator was for, because all that surrounded me was concrete, which whizzed past in a grey blur. Still, the voice continued.

 _I assure you, no harm will come to you. Please, let's just talk. All I want is for us to have a conversation._

"Oh really, mighty omnipresent one?" I mockingly replied, hoping that the speaker system was two-way. "All I want is for you to shut down your business and move along. Sound good?"

He either couldn't hear or wished to ignore me, because he continued to speak as if it were a speech he'd rehearsed.

 _I can only imagine what you've heard, what you think of us. I'd like to show you that you may have… the wrong impression. Welcome to the Institute._

As if on cue, the concrete walls that had surrounded the elevator suddenly disappeared, plunging me into a gigantic dome of clinical whiteness, a huge expansion filled with trees, bushes and – people! So many people, all walking around and having conversations. There was a moat-like lake circling around, with bridges connecting the centre to eight different paths. Four paths led to more elevators, and four into other areas labelled Bioscience, Robotics, Advanced Systems and finally Synth Retention. Networks of smooth, glass tunnels stretched around me, and I suddenly felt very small. I pressed a hand up against the glass, wishing that MacCready was here to see this.

 _This is the reality of the Institute. This place, these people, the work we do. For over a hundred years, we've dedicated ourselves to humanity's survival. Decades of research, countless experiments and trials… a shared vision of how science can help shape the future._

For a moment, concrete walls replaced my brief glimpse at the world around me, then the elevator came to a softened stop. The doors slid open onto a corridor. I stepped out, warily, and began to follow the path around.

 _It has never been easy, and our actions are often misinterpreted by those above ground. Someday, perhaps, we can show them what we've accomplished. But for now, we must remain underground. There's too much at stake here to risk it all. As you've seen, things above are… unstable._

I scoffed at his last words, starting to subconsciously jog down the corridor. I spotted a door ahead and quickened my pace.

 _I'd like to talk to you about what we can do for everyone. But that can wait. You are here for a very specific reason. You are here for your son._

My heart jolted at the mention of Shaun and I practically fell into the door beside me, barely registering the room that I entered as my eyes fell upon the small child sat on the floor in front of me. He was behind some sort of see-through plastic wall, locked in a make-shift bedroom with toys, books and a bed. Everything was so clean, not broken. Like it was before the war. The child looked up at me in shock as I approached his cell, dropping the book in his hands. He had a mop of red hair, auburn just like mine, and eyes that I could not mistake for Nate's. They widened at the sight of me, panic building in his beautiful little face.

"Shaun?" I asked, quietly. I could feel tears burning my eyes.

The boy frowned a little, then stood up. He was wearing a white jumpsuit. Everything here was white, like a hospital. "Huh? Yes, I'm Shaun."

"Oh, my God…" I breathed, relief washing over me. I pressed my forehead up against the barrier between us, trying to get a better look at my little boy. How much he'd grown! "I never thought I'd see you again!"

"Who are you?" Shaun asked, fear returning to his face. I couldn't forget that he wouldn't know who I am. I straightened myself up, feeling my wound tugging under my clothes. Blood was starting to soak through my plaid shirt now.

"That's not important right now," I sighed, aware that I was weakening. "Where is everyone?"

Shaun backed away from me, clearly shaken. "Father – what's happening? Father!"

"Shush, Shaun!" I whispered, getting antsy. "I'm your mom, I've come for you, I'm so sorry I let this happen…"

"Father! Father!"

"Shaun, please! It'll be okay."

"I don't know you, go away!" Shaun yelled. "Father, help! Father!"

I grimaced at his words, aware now that I hadn't planned for this. I'd always known that he might not understand, but I just didn't plan for it. Stuck with what to do, I ignored his cries and tried to break into the strange little prison he stood in, frustratingly stabbing at the keypad on the door, cursing as it bleeped at me. From behind, I heard a door open and I whirled around quickly, pointing my gun at the incomer. An elderly man stepped into the room, unfazed by my threat, and walked past me towards Shaun. He spoke with the same voice as the one from the speaker.

"Shaun." He looked at the child. "S9-23 recall code cirrus."

Before my eyes, Shaun's head dropped and his body stiffened. Confused, I stepped forward and pushed the butt of my gun into the old man's side, so that he turned towards me – he seemed more irritated than scared. He pushed my gun to the side and eyed me carefully.

"Fascinating, but disappointing." The man shook his head, placing his hands behind his back. I slowly lowered my weapon, unable to take my eyes from my boy, who was still stood there with his head looking to the floor. A tear escaped from my eye and rolled down my face. "The child's response was not at all what I had anticipated."

My head snapped up at that. "What?"

"He's a prototype, you understand?" The man explained, and I felt something drop in my stomach. Hope, maybe. "We're only just now beginning to explore the effects of extreme emotional stimuli."

I backed away from the man slowly, staring at his white lab coat and green sweater. This couldn't be happening. I wasn't an idiot, I knew what he was saying to me – this wasn't my Shaun, this was a synth made to look like Shaun. Some sort of weird experiment? I just couldn't make sense of that. I shook my head repeatedly and swallowed hard.

"No, no, no… you have to take me to the real Shaun." I insisted.

"Please, try to keep an open mind," The older man walked towards me, hands raised in a calming manner. "I recognise that you are emotional, and that your journey here has been fraught with challenges."

"Because you've been spying on me!" I was becoming erratic and I knew it. But I didn't care. I wanted Shaun. I'd come this far. "Just shut up, take me to Shaun. I won't ask again."

The room was starting to spin a little, the white walls swirling like I was drunk. I steadied myself against a nearby chair, the cool of the metal surprising against my sweaty palm.

"Let's start anew." The man smiled a little. He had a bushy, grey beard to match his combed hair, eyes blue and familiar. "I am Father. Welcome to the Institute."

"Yeah, yeah, enough with the pleasantries." I wanted to sound tough, which was thwarted as my voice broke. "What kind of bogus name is 'Father' anyway, or is that a title?"

Father smiled again. "An unofficial title, yes. It is what I've come to mean to the people here."

"I don't care," I whispered. "I want my son."

"He's closer than you think. But I need you to know that this situation is far more complicated than you could have imagined." He sighed, smoothing out his coat, then took a steady breath. "It's me. I am… your son."

My heart skipped a beat.

"Bullshit." It was the first thing that came to my mind and I couldn't stop my mouth from projecting it. I looked at that old man's eyes again, seeing it, seeing Nate in them. I shook my head, mind racing. "How is that even possible?"

Father gestured for me to take a seat, so I shakily pulled out the chair I'd been leaning against and did so, my head falling into my hands as I tried to take in the information I was being fed.

"In the Vault, you had no concept of the passage of time. You were released from your pod and went searching for the son you had lost. Then, you learned that your son was no longer and infant, but a ten-year-old boy. It was difficult, yet you accepted that as fact. You believed that ten years had passed since he was taken. Is it really so hard to acknowledge, then, that it was not ten, but sixty years? That is the reality."

The whole time Father spoke, I hyperventilated into my hands. He was making sense. He spoke so formally, like it didn't affect him that his birth mother was sat before him, literally bleeding onto his pristine floor. No love in his words. Just statements. Facts. Figures.

"Here I am," He stated. "Raised by the Institute, and now its leader."

"But why take a child?" I asked, racking my brains for all the questions I needed to be answered. "Why take you?"

"A very good question indeed!" Father beamed. Was he enjoying this? "At that time, the year 2227, the Institute had made great strides in synth production, however, it wasn't enough. In the goal to create the perfect machine, they needed human DNA. Unfortunately, every specimen in the Commonwealth and beyond had been corrupted with radiation. Even those who lived here had been exposed in their visits to the above world. Another source was necessary."

I gulped. "And there you were, a frozen pre-war relic filled with non-contaminated blood."

"Precisely! So, it was my DNA that became the basis for the synthetic organics used to create every human-like synth you see today. I am their Father. Through science, we are family."

I thought about all the fear that the Institute had caused in the Commonwealth. I thought about the people being kidnapped and replaced with synth versions of themselves. I thought about my husband, who had been killed for all of this to happen. I stood to leave, to tell Shaun to go to hell, and suddenly fell back into the chair, my head swimming.

"You have lost too much blood," Father – Shaun – said. "We can talk more later. Let me take you to a doctor."

#####

 **MACCREADY – ONE WEEK LATER**

Life on the road had been a lot more challenging that I'd expected, mostly because riding with a Caravan was akin to painting a large target on my back. Everywhere where we went, Raiders and Scavengers jumped us and tried to steal the goods. The Caravan guards did a decent job of protecting the merchant up close, but they lacked the foresight I had acquired over years of mercenary work – so, I kept a vigilant eye at all times and sniped from a distance as soon as I spotted the slightest hint of trouble. It kind of felt nice to be using my talent to protect.

The other problem was all the walking; we barely stopped for longer than a few minutes, and even when we did stay in one place, we were standing around whilst the merchant sold random items to random people. Still, I couldn't complain. They were my only safe bet back to the Capital Wasteland.

After roughly a week had passed, we made it. I said my goodbyes at their first stop, my muscle memory carrying my legs back to the oasis. There was an unassuming rock formation in the side of a mountain covered in ivy, which I'd discovered had a hidden gap leading to a doorway. Through that entrance was the remains of a settlement, filled with grass and trees, all lush and full of life. No matter how many times I stepped into this place, the sheer beauty of it took my breath away. I slowly walked around the stone well in the centre, careful not to glance at the small wooden cross sticking out of the ground nearby.

It was quiet, and for a moment, I feared that Sammy had taken Duncan elsewhere in my absence. However, as I approached the sleeping quarters, I spotted movement, so I jogged the rest of the way.

There was Duncan, curled up on a bed, asleep. My shoulders slackened and the pressure that had been building in my head began to dissipate. I went over to him and knelt by his side, feeling his forehead to check if the fever had let up. It hadn't. The spots on his skin were as bold as ever and he seemed to have lost so much weight. At that moment, I didn't know whether to let him sleep or to wake him up, so instead I curled up on the floor beside him and let myself drift off.

I awoke to a pinching pain on my arm. I swatted at it and sat up groggily.

"…daddy?"

"Duncan!" I couldn't help the broad smile on my face. I grabbed my boy in my arms gently and held him, closing my eyes to savour the moment. "I've missed you so much, champ."

He gave a small chuckle in my ear.

"We've missed you, too." A familiar voice made me jump, and I looked up to see Sammy standing above us, a wry smirk on his face. "What took you so long?"

"Oh, you know," I shrugged, standing up. "A long walk. Gunners. Several Feral Ghouls."

"Piece of cake," He muttered, twirling his pistol. "You get the stuff, then?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, no time like the present."

I nodded curtly and focussed my attention back to Duncan, who was looking up at me curiously. I knelt down to his level and placed a comforting hand on his tiny, bony shoulder. "Daddy has to give you some medicine now, okay? It might sting a teensy bit, but it will make you feel better. Can you be a big boy for me?"

He seemed to consider it, watching as I took an empty stimpak needle out of my bag and began to fill it with the Prevent liquid. After a couple of seconds, he nodded. "Okay. I am a big boy."

"Yes, you are."

#####

After the injection, Duncan had become sleepy again. Sammy took me out to the main courtyard, back to the stone well and we sat on the benches, drinking whiskey. I'd almost forgotten the taste after travelling with Veronica for so long – oh, Veronica. I wondered what she was doing right now, and if she'd found her son. In the corner of my eye, the wooden cross judged me. Sammy must've noticed me tense up, because he passed me a cigarette and bashed me on the arm with his shoulder.

"Thinking about Lucy?" He asked, and I winced.

"Not exactly… well, yeah I am. Man, it's been a rough couple months."

"Tell me," He raised his brow. "I need someone to talk to after spending all that time stuck in this dump. I mean, no offence, but I miss being on the road."

"Sure," I nodded, swigging some of that sweet devil's water. "I just feel guilty every time I look at that Goddamn cross. I know she's not really there, but I feel her watching me. All the time. I feel like there was more I should've done, you know?"

"We've been over this, man." Sammy shook his head. "You had no chance."

I let out a breath that I hadn't realised I'd been holding onto, and closed my eyes. "Do you think she'd hate me if I found someone new?"

I told him everything then, about how I'd spent most of my time in the Commonwealth taking jobs until Veronica had come along and changed my life. I told him about how great she was, how she had a past just like mine, how our paths intertwined and then split off. I told him how much it hurt to not be able to help her right now, to know that she was okay. All the while, Sammy sat there and listened. He'd always been a good friend, even if we hadn't got along at first. Back when I was mayor of Little Lamplight, I'd been so focussed on protecting everyone that I hadn't stopped to make friends. Sammy and Lucy were the only people I'd stayed in contact with. He'd gone down a similar road to me, becoming a gun-for-fire. There was no one else in the world that I trusted to take care of Duncan than him, and he'd clearly met my expectations.

After my story, he straightened and took a drag of his cigarette. "I'd say Lucy would understand. This chick helped you get that cure for Duncan, right? She sounds like one of the good ones."

"That's another thing," I waggled my finger. "What do I do once Duncan is back to normal? We should stay here, where he's safe, right? I have to leave Veronica and that life behind me, don't I?"

"That's your call, buddy. But hey, it's getting late and you've travelled a lot. Get some real shut-eye and we'll see how Duncan is in the morning. Think positive!"

Think positive.

I was pretty certain I'd killed every positive bone in my body by now.


	17. Maybe

_Maybe you'll think of me  
When you are all alone  
Maybe the one who is waiting for you will prove untrue  
Then what will you do?_

 **MACCREADY**

Duncan's health significantly improved over the next few days. The spots faded into dull bruises, his temperature lowered and he began to move around a lot more. We'd take little walks around the oasis until he got too tired, then I'd see if he could grip a pencil and draw. Before Lucy had died, she'd been very much the mother hen, teaching him to read and write. I'd always been away taking jobs, so I'd missed all the little victories in Duncan's life – like his first steps, his first words and the first time he'd written a full sentence. These moments came as surprises to me every time I came home. Now that she was gone and his illness had caused him to regress, it was my turn to help him relearn everything he'd forgotten. We spent evenings writing letters and drawing shapes, then I'd tell him a bedtime story about the things I'd seen in the Commonwealth – with certain things omitted – until he fell asleep. I was standing still, stuck in this place, but I loved every moment of it.

Duncan began to strengthen and I knew that he would be okay. We had a birthday party for him when he turned five; Sammy had provided us with sweet rolls and fancy lad snack cakes that he'd scavenged on one of his 'trips'. In fact, he was doing so much for us that I didn't know how to thank him. He'd hunt for meat, selling half for caps and giving half to us. I knew that he was still taking jobs out there, but it was all he'd known. Besides, he didn't have a family to look after like I did and I sure as hell didn't miss holding a gun. He seemed happy to do this for me, or so I'd thought.

"You're going to have to get back on that horse sooner or later," He'd warned me one night after Duncan had begun to snore. "I can't keep sharing my stash with you. You'll need to earn caps for his sake."

"I don't want to do that anymore," I sighed. "It's not like I can leave him here, alone. Someone has to stay behind."

Sammy shrugged at me, a sign of defeat. "Fine. It's your life. I'll have to stop giving you my caps soon, though."

I nodded, understanding. I was becoming a leech, expecting favours with nothing to give in return. I couldn't go back to mercenary work though, not now. I had to think of something else. Still, as more days went by, I made no effort towards that goal. I had a Duncan to care for, he was my everything. I continued to help him walk, read and write. I held him and kissed his little forehead and promised never to let him go again. He'd giggle and tell me he loved me. That was all I needed. It almost made me forget how much my body ached, how much my soul weighed, how many dark thoughts swirled around my head.

It almost made me forget about Veronica.

One morning, I woke up early to see Lucy's grave. I sat, crossed legged, in front of that old plank of wood, and put my head in my hands.

"Do you think she found Shaun?" I asked. "Do you think she made it out of the Institute? Her skills were coming along amazingly. I know she's a sharp shooter, she's sneaky and intelligent. But… do you think they got her? I hope not."

I ran a shaky hand through my hair.

"Man, I feel terrible. I wish I didn't have to leave things the way I did. She trusted me with so much, made me feel like I was worthy of something for once. Do you think she'll forgive me for leaving? Does she even still think about me?"

No answers were coming – though, I hadn't expected any. A slight breeze chilled me.

"I don't think I'll ever find out, will I? I can't go back. She won't come here. Is it stupid of me to feel this hung up on a girl, when my son is healthy, here and now? Oh, Lucy. I miss you so much."

The sound of tiny feet caught my attention, and two little arms wrapped themselves around my neck. "Daddy, daddy! I want to play with the ball!"

I craned my neck to see Duncan, beaming down at me with his toothy grin, and my heart melted. I pulled him round, tickling his stomach until he squealed and sat him on my knee. "Okay, but we have to be careful, yeah? If it hurts to throw it, let me know straight away."

"I will, daddy."

With that, he scampered away to find his toy. I watched him go, knowing in that moment that I'd made the right call. Only, was that more colourful patches I noticed on his skin? A sudden fear rippled through me and I scrambled to my feet, running after him.

"Duncan!"

#####

 **VERONICA**

I'd been inside the Institute for weeks now.

Shaun had taken me to get my wounds looked at, which had only taken a few minutes whilst they cleaned the area and used some kind of laser to fuse the skin together. It had almost been a scar-free procedure. Then I'd been given food and water to boost my energy levels. It seemed they had a farm down here which produced organic, rad-free fruits and vegetables. Shaun had then explained that, instead of meat, they had man-made protein slabs that very much imitated animal flesh. There was no need to go up to the surface for sustenance. They provided everything for themselves.

After eating, Shaun had told me that I needed to rest. I'd been given my own quarters, with a king-size bed and a wardrobe filled with clean clothes. I'd only had to live in the Commonwealth for a short time, but I'd grown used to the filth and decay. Having fresh linen, several changes of clothes and a working shower felt like being checked into a five-star hotel. Even the toilet worked! Tinker Tom had been right – they must've had a waste pipe leading to the surface.

I showered for a long time, scrubbing the grime from my skin as much as I could before just sitting there in the hot water, trying to appreciate the little things. Once I felt clean enough, I changed into a smart, pale green dress and white pumps. Then sat on the edge of my new bed, unable to comprehend how comfortable it was, and tried not to let my emotions take over. What the hell was happening?

So, my son was a sixty-year-old man who ran a shady organisation dedicated to saving humanity by watching it burn. There was no other way of putting it – after I'd calmed down and let him explain things, Shaun had told me the Institutes real goal. They believed that the humans above ground would eventually be wiped out due to the inhabitable nature of the irradiated wasteland. Once the impure were gone, the Institute would rise up and take over, restarting the human race in the purest and least contaminated form. Unfortunately, seeing that there was no way of rebuilding civilisation without stepping into the fallout, they began to create their very own robotic army. As their science progressed, so did their goals, and eventually it became clear that their new workforce must be as sentient as possible.

As human as possible.

They weren't kidnapping people and replacing them with synths for no reason; it was to see how well they could integrate, how human-like they could appear. Unfortunately, due to a few failed tests in the past, the people of the Commonwealth had cottoned onto these experiments, leaving them paranoid and extremely aware.

Shaun told me that their next goal was to create a nuclear reactor that would help the Institute become truly self-sufficient. This would accelerate their plans significantly.

What could I do, trapped here with my only living relative left in the world? I couldn't refuse him, I couldn't turn him away. I wanted to know my child, to love him. I wanted to be with Shaun, always. So, regardless of my true feelings towards his horrific ideals, I pretended to agree with everything that he had built. I was standing still, stuck in this place, and I hated every moment of it.

What the hell was I going to do?

MacCready would know. I sat and cried nearly every night I was here, wishing I could speak with him. Was he thinking about me too? The Railroad had messaged my Pip-Boy several times wanting to know if I'd survived and if I'd found anything, but I couldn't bring myself to respond. I supposed they would eventually accept that I had died and leave me be. Another failed attempt at destroying the Institute.

It was on the morning of a particularly rough night that Shaun knocked on the door to my quarters. I was learning to paint on a smile quite well, answering him with a motherly hug and a gentle touch to the cheek. Although unemotional, he nodded politely and gestured for me to exit the room with him. We began to walk down the halls through to the main atrium, and I noted the amount of generation one synths doing janitorial work. Desdemona had been right all along – the synths were used as slaves, cultivated to become the perfect worker bees.

"As you are aware, mother," Shaun began, guiding me towards the directors' suite. "We are humanity's last hope. Without our work, the surface world will crumble into nothing but dust, rendering the human race extinct."

I nodded along, unsure where he was going with this. I had thought about telling him how much had changed up there, how the Minutemen were fixing things, but I didn't want him to catch on. I couldn't risk losing him again.

"It is difficult for me to say these words," He continued. We reach the director's suite and he sat himself onto his chair. I seated myself at the conference table. He began to cough violently, and I stood quickly, running over to check if he was okay. He waved me off and cleared his throat. I stayed hovering above him, maternal instincts on fire. "I'm quite alright, thank you. Now, I must tell you something. It is regrettable to announce that I… I am dying."

"No!" I gasped, searching his wrinkled face for the hint of a lie. Strangely enough, as much as I felt pain at his words, I didn't feel sadness. He shook his head slowly.

"I'm afraid so, and I have been for quite some time now. I suppose that it why I decided to remotely free you from your cryogenic prison and see if you would come to me. A sentimental experiment, of sorts. I thought you ought to know that once my time has passed, I will be placing you in charge. You will become the new director of the Institute."

My heart stopped and I swallowed hard. "Me? You hardly know me."

"You are my mother," He frowned. "Circumstance or not, you are my flesh and blood. You have proven yourself to be extremely resilient, intelligent and trustworthy."

I flinched at the last word. Was I trustworthy? In any case, I did not want this job. I just wanted to go back to Sanctuary and forget all of this had happened. We discussed what this would mean further, before I excused myself for lunch. Silently, I took a protein pack and ate alone in my quarters, mulling over my options.

I could stay here, watch my son die and take over his life's work, becoming the enemy of all those I'd met before I got here. I would wait for the world above to die, all the while continuing to fight them and scare them. I would never see Piper, Nick or Preston again. I would never see MacCready again.

Or, I could walk away from this mess now, leave my son to die as the madman he had become and try to forget all of my pain. I could go back to the Commonwealth and try to live in a broken world, doing enough to survive. I would have friends, a new family and the satisfaction that I didn't contribute to their downfall.

It hit me like a punch to the face that I already knew what I wanted to do. It was easy, really. The Institute was a malignant tumour – that's what Danse had said. They believed they were humanity's last hope but they were wrong. They didn't want to save people, they wanted to toss them aside for their new vision of a bleak and synthetic future. It was all wrong. There was only one problem.

How was I going to betray the person I had been fighting for all along?

After a few hours of careful thought, I made my way back to Shaun. He looked up at me with a glint of happiness in his eyes – I took a deep breath and began.

"I accept the position of director." I announced. "I have one condition – let me return to the world above ground one last time so that I can say goodbye."

He eyed me suspiciously. "I know that you are one of us now, but my team will not understand if I let you go up there. In their minds, you know far too much."

"And yet, I could do very little." I countered. "This place is too well fortified. No one can enter. They already know about the synths – what would there be to lose? Regardless of that fact, I only want to say goodbye. I made many good friends and it will be difficult for me if I cannot at least see them one last time."

Shaun considered me for a moment, then gave a small nod. "I agree. There is little you could do to harm us and I don't believe for one second that you would betray your son. I will send word down to Dr Li – she will be able to install a chip in your Pip-Boy to allow transportation between here and the surface."

"Travelling like a Courser?" I grimaced at the memory of the relay and my sickness that had followed.

"Of a fashion. Only, you will be able to triangulate your destination using the map on your device, rather than being sent to CIT every time."

I smiled, widely. "Wonderful, thank you so much, Shaun. I won't take long up there, I swear."

I bounded from the office, heading down to Dr Li. A guilty weight shifted in my stomach, but I knew that I was doing the right thing. I had loved Shaun, and still did – he just wasn't my son. Not really. If he was truly dying, I would be hurt from all of this anyway. I had to do what was right for the Commonwealth.

I was going back.


	18. Way Back Home

_Don't know why I left the homestead  
I really must confess  
I'm a weary exile, singing my song  
Of loneliness_

 **VERONICA**

It was taking some time for Dr Li to install the relay chip in my Pip-Boy and it was clear that she was getting sick of having to talk to me. When I'd first walked into her lab, she'd eyed me with disdain and then stretched her arm out, demanding that I hand my device over. Her stern face was wrinkled and taut, black eyebrows furrowed into an impatient frown. I'd complied, sensing that my presence here was getting in the way of other work. Not wanting to be rude, I'd stayed for a little while and tried to get some more information on Shaun, but she'd mistaken the name for the boy-synth I'd met previously; it would seem that my son really was affectionately referred to as Father by all.

"Shaun is… well, he's frustrating." Li had mused whilst she poked at the innards of my Pip-Boy with a tiny tool. "By all rights, he shouldn't exist. We've never made a child synth before, and for a good reason. He won't be able to age physically, whilst his programming will only progress."

"So, basically it'll be like being an adult in a child's body?" I asked and Li shook her head.

"No. But I can see why you make that comparison. I just don't agree with Father on this one – creating Shaun was morally wrong. The synths were meant to help us achieve our goal, not take part in some fantastical experiment that Father dreamt up one day." She sucked in a sharp breath and glanced up at me. "I'm sorry, I am aware of your significance to Father. I understand that this must be difficult for you both."

"Uh-huh." I clicked my tongue. "To be honest, I kind of agree with you."

Dr Li raised her eyebrows at me and continued her work. "Maybe it would do some good to stretch your legs and explore this place? It will take approximately fifteen more minutes to finish this. Take a look at our Advanced Robotics lab, or the synthetic gorillas in Bioscience."

My head snapped up at that and a promise I'd made long ago resurfaced in my mind. Virgil! I'd promised him that if I got into the Institute, I'd get his antidote from the FEV lab where he once worked. I thanked Dr Li for the good idea and began to half-walk, half-jog towards the main atrium. A couple of gen 1 synths with mops waved at me, which made me feel a little uneasy considering the last time I met these skeletal beings was when they were attacking me at Kellogg's fort. Once at Bioscience, I entered as casually as possible, marvelling at the large hydroponic farms circling around the room. A few men wearing white coats spoke quietly at one end, reading each other's data and ignoring my presence completely. This was where the Institute supplied water and foodstuffs for the rest of the staff, but I couldn't see where they would also be able to conduct a trial like the one that Virgil had described. He'd spoken of 'subjects' being injected with the virus, which meant that there had to be holding cells and medical facilities – there was nothing like that here. It dawned on me as I marched around the perimeter that the Courser in Kellogg's memory had said that Virgil was working on a classified programme, meaning that it was top secret. Perhaps even some of the Institute staff didn't know about it?

As my brain ticked this thought over, I noticed a non-descript door at the back end of the room with a piece of red tape stretched across it. The few scientists that were dotted about seemed to be concentrating on a group of silverback gorillas that were contained behind a large piece of acrylic glass, so I took the opportunity and pulled the tape away from the door, sneaking through. Surely, it wouldn't be this easy? And I was right. This led to a small corridor with two more doors at the end – a janitor's closet and the entrance to the FEV lab. Unfortunately, it was locked and sealed with a passcode, and I couldn't risk being caught right now – not if I wanted to be allowed to leave. I huffed at the door, apologising to Virgil in my head. I'd made a promise to him, I'd given him my word and I wasn't going to come through. Maybe if I went back to Dr Li and asked her about it, should would accidentally give me vital information? She seemed to be Shaun's number two from the way he'd spoken about her and I assumed that if he had been watching me all this time, they both knew about my trip to the Glowing Sea.

She stood up as I came back to her office, paralleling our first meeting by holding my Pip-Boy up in front of me and nodding for me to take it. "The chip has been successfully installed. You are now free to transport in and out of the Institute. Don't ask me why I agreed to this, considering how much damage you could potentially bring. However, I trust Father, ergo… I trust you."

"Thanks so much," I smiled, wrapping the familiar gadget around my forearm. "So, what do I do?"

"I've modified it to make it simple. Just find a spot on the map and press this button. It will calculate the coordinates and try to land you as close as possible to that location."

"Can I use this to travel anywhere?"

"No, this technology still requires the molecular relay here in the Institute. You can travel _to_ here and you can travel _from_ here, but it cannot move you from one place in the Commonwealth to another. I'm afraid you'll still have to walk."

"Figures," I mumbled, before studying the map intensely. "Um, hey… so, you know how I got here, right?"

"Hacking into our molecular relay using a Courser chip, yes." She smirked at me. "It's true what everyone has been saying about you. You are quite resourceful. I especially liked how you manipulated those moronic Railroad cretins into building it for you."

I dropped my eyes, unable to meet her gaze. "Yeah. Well, they did what they could with the schematics they were given. Speaking of which… did you know Brian Virgil?"

"Dr Virgil?" Li straightened up at his name. "Yes, of course. Everyone knows everyone down here. It's a shame what happened with him."

"I guess they had to shut his work down after he'd gone?"

"Indeed. No one else knew what on Earth he was doing down there, besides Father. Why do you ask?"

I sighed, realising now that there was no way of getting out of this conversation without appearing shifty. "I was just interested in what he was doing, that's all. I don't suppose you have access to his office?"

"No, I don't suppose I do." Dr Li's expression hardened now. "You've got what you came to me for. I think it's time you left."

I nodded slowly, deflated by her answer, and looked down at my Pip-Boy. I'd already selected where I wanted to go, I just had to press the button. I would be abandoning my chance to help Virgil. I would be abandoning my son, who I'd spent so long trying to find. But my mind was set and I had gone over this too many times in my head to back out now. I took a deep breath. "Okay… here goes nothing."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

It had happened shortly after Duncan had asked to play with the ball. He'd bounded away from me, not a care in the world, and I'd noticed the blue boils on his skin. They were coming back. I'd ran after him, desperate to check, pressing my hand against his forehead. Everything seemed well. Wary, I let him continue with his plans, keeping a watchful eye as he stumbled a little. Then, during a tentative game of catch, he had collapsed.

Duncan started to lose consciousness so Sammy and I pulled him onto his bed and left him to sleep it off. A few hours later, the fever was back. He could barely talk, barely move. He cried silent tears. I cried, too. Sammy put a hand on my shoulder and left me to it, a good enough friend to know when I needed to be alone.

My son, he was slipping in and out; his eyelids fluttered and his lips stammered. I hadn't seen it this bad before. We'd used all of the Prevent. I had nothing left.

Nothing left.

I climbed onto his bed and held him, feeling his shallow breath tickle my arm. His skin felt like fire. I must've fallen asleep with him. I woke up with a start, disturbing my nightmare, the only that replayed in my head every night. Groggily, I lifted my arm to check on Duncan. I couldn't feel that tickle of breath anymore. I couldn't feel his tiny heartbeat against my own.

He was gone.

The pain of losing a loved one is harrowing. When Lucy died, the way Lucy died… it shredded me to pieces until I felt raw. It's like a part of you is sliced away and thrown against a wall over and over again. But losing a child?

I felt numb.

Sammy helped me bury him. We put him next to Lucy's cross. Afterwards, my friend left and I sat on the ground next to my beautiful family, and I wondered. If I wasn't a mercenary, would we have had to travel around so much? Maybe my wife wouldn't have been eaten by Feral Ghouls. Maybe then, I wouldn't have been such a coward and left it to the last minute to find the cure for Duncan. Maybe he would be alive too. And then we would all be sat here, eating food and laughing. I'd be a husband and a father, have a real job doing good for other people, like the Preston Garvey's of the world.

That's not who I'd turned out to be, however. I chose this life, to shoot people for a living and take all the caps I could carry – who cared so long as I got paid, right? This was what I deserved. But not them. Never them.

Why did I ever leave here? The cure had been a pipe dream. I should've stayed with Duncan and spent every single moment of his short life with him. I wasted all of that time drinking beer at the Third Rail and taking stupid jobs in the Commonwealth. I wasted that time selfishly giving in to temptation.

I stayed up all that night, staring at those graves and drinking all of the whiskey I had left. I couldn't taste it, I couldn't feel it. I felt nothing anymore.

I looked at my rifle, my old friend. I'd not used it since I got back. Maybe I could load it one last time? I knew that the world would be better without me in it. My only talent in life was killing people. Even the people I loved. I grabbed the gun and looked at it for a long hard minute.

Then I dropped it to the ground and cried.

Sammy returned the next morning and threw water in my face. After the shock, I gestured to the patch of dirt in front of me. "Why didn't it work?"

Sammy shrugged. "It was never a guarantee. That cure was experimental and pre-war. It wasn't even finished. But hey, what matters is you gave it a shot. You gave him a second chance at life."

I muttered under my breath, trying my best not to curse. I had to keep my promise.

"Come on, man." He sighed, sitting next to me as I wiped myself down. "You stink of booze. I think it's time you left here."

"It's only been a few hours," I croaked. "I can't leave them again."

"I can't sit here and watch you spiral out," Sammy grabbed my shoulders. "I was there the last time, remember? They wouldn't want you to give up so easily."

Well, what did he know? I had nothing left to live for. I'd lost everything that had ever made me happy in my entire life and it was all my fault. What did I possibly have now, in this dark and cruel world? My thoughts shifted, an image appearing of a sleek, auburn figure in blue. It was hazy, but I knew who it was.

I scrambled to my feet, dizzy from the alcohol and lack of sleep. Sammy frowned at me and stood too.

"What are you doing?" He questioned as I began to load my gun.

I took a swig of water, swilling out the fuzzy feeling on my teeth before replying. "You're right. I can't just sit here. Veronica needs me. When's the next caravan back to Goodneighbor?"

#####

Days later, I was back in the Commonwealth. I didn't one hundred percent know what I was expecting to find here, considering the amount of time I'd been gone. I was still grieving, my pain still fresh, but if there was one thing that had kept me going when Lucy had died, it was fighting for someone else – my boy. Where would Veronica be, though? All I knew was that Veronica had got to have been to the Institute by now, and I had every faith that she will have found Shaun and got out of there safely. I just didn't know where she would have gone from there. She'd once told me that Sanctuary made her feel uncomfortable because it had been her home before the bombs, so I didn't think she would want to settle down there. I departed the Caravan before it hit Goodneighbor, realising that it was passing the old church where the Railroad headquarters was situated. If anyone knew where Veronica was, it would be them. After navigating the underground tunnels and reopening the secret entrance, I was greeted by the irritating Deacon. His face seemed to drain of all colour as he shook my hand.

"MacCready, my man," He cleared his throat and forced a smile on his face. "Long time, no see. We heard you took off."

"I had other business." I shrugged. I didn't want to share any details with this guy. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Uh…" He trailed off, looking behind himself and then beckoning me forward. "Sure, sure. Come on in."

Desdemona was hunched over her map as usual, muttering under her breath as she stared at the markers. As I came closer, she jumped a little and gave me a pitying look.

"Oh, you're here," She tilted her head to one side. Everyone was acting so strangely. Could they smell the alcohol on my breath? "We didn't know you were coming back."

"Neither did I." I laughed, feeling nervous about the eyes around the room as they all looked at me. What the hell was going on? "Um, so, yeah. I was just calling in to see if you knew where Veronica was?"

Desdemona shifted on her feet and frowned. "She used the relay. She went to the Institute."

"Yeah?" I felt pride rise up inside. "And then?"

"That's just it, bro." Deacon tensed up. "She never came back. We sent her, like, a thousand messages to see if everything went smoothly, and she hasn't replied. She told us she would at least signal that she got there okay."

"What are you trying to say?"

"We don't know if it was the relay or the Institute, but something must've got her." Deacon put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, but… Veronica is dead."

That's when the world was snatched from beneath my feet.


	19. One More Tomorrow

_One more tomorrow  
Filled with love the whole day through  
And then tomorrow I'd beg  
For one more tomorrow with you_

 **MACCREADY**

It felt as though I was completely detached from my body, like I was floating above myself or like someone else was pulling my strings. I was back at the Third Rail, only this time I was sat by the bar, finding it increasingly difficult to keep myself sat upright, so in the end I gave up and slouched onto the counter, pressing my face against the sticky, wooden surface. Empty beer bottles and glasses surrounded me like little trophies, each one a prize for having not yet fallen unconscious. How much more could I drink before I blacked out? How much more until I never woke up again? The soft hum of jazz filled my head, Magnolia's sensual vocals swaying in tune. I'd always liked rock and roll more. I tried to voice that opinion, but it came out as a slurred whisper, drowned out by the ambience of the bar.

I remembered Deacon taking me here. It was after my knees had crumpled and I'd fallen to the floor, raw with emotion. He'd picked me up and asked me where I lived. I told him I didn't have a home without her. But they knew, the Railroad knew that she'd first met me here. So, I was back in Goodneighbor, only this time I didn't want to take any jobs. What was the point in caps if I had nothing? Deacon had given me a stash to 'keep me going' for a while. They were gone already, spent on cheap booze. The bar tender, a Mr Handy bot called Whitechapel Charlie, let me open a tab. I didn't tell him that I had no caps left.

My eyes felt heavy and I knew that I would be gone soon, so I dragged myself up and stumbled towards the back room, the one I used to use for mercenary business. The one I'd met her in. I had nowhere else – my room at the Rexford held too many memories. I couldn't take it, not right now. As soon as I got into the back and was alone, I collapsed onto the couch. Well, this was it. I had no family, no friends. I was a savage murdering dick who didn't deserve to live. I reached for my rifle and sloppily placed the barrel between my eyes. One squeeze of the trigger, and I wouldn't have to feel anything anymore. All that pain, gone.

My finger shook against the trigger as I closed my eyes, feeling sweat dribble down my forehead. And tears, tears were flowing thick and fast now. Why was I hesitating? One tiny movement was all it would take.

A sudden urge to throw up came over me and I dropped the rifle with a clatter, vaulting forward to vomit. Afterwards, I stared at the gun on the floor with gloomy contemplation, but the darkness was taking over. I could feel myself falling to sleep.

Nightmares plagued me. All the people I'd ever killed, asking me if it was worth it. Then, all the people I'd lost, asking me why. Lucy. Duncan. Veronica. I'd failed them all.

A forceful shove woke me up, and I blinked until my eyes could focus… or not. I was still very drunk and the room spun nauseatingly. Someone was tugging on my jacket, pulling me back and forth. I was going to puke. I growled loudly, trying to hit whoever it was as I turned to face them. I saw her and I cried out. "No, no, please not you…"

I guessed I was still dreaming, or hallucinating maybe. It was completely possible considering how much I'd had. Stood over me, was the image of Veronica, wearing a pale green dress. It must've been a ghost. Was this my punishment, to be haunted by her disapproving face forever? She was looking down at me, eyebrows furrowed and lips pinched into a tight line. As I shook my head and tried to move away from her, her face softened and she grabbed my arm. It felt so real.

"Hey, hey," She was saying, stroking my other arm. "MacCready, calm down. It's me. It's me."

I didn't know if it was the soothing touch or her beautiful face, but something in me felt content. I nodded at the apparition and closed my eyes again. "Will you be gone, when I wake up?"

"No. I'm not going anywhere."

#####

I awoke again, only this time I could tell that hours had passed. My head was wrecked, an intense headache driving through me. I sat up slowly, being careful not to aggravate the sickness in my stomach. As I stretched, a figure walked into the room and I froze in place.

"I paid off your tab." It was Veronica. Was I still dreaming? Ignoring my pain, I jumped up from the couch and walked over to her quickly, clasping my hands around her arms, touching her face, running my fingers through her fire-red hair. This was real! She laughed at me, that sound I hadn't heard in so long, and I couldn't help but laugh too. I pulled her into a tight embrace; I had to make sure that this was actually happening, that she was actually here.

"What's gotten into you?" Her muffled voice asked. I let go of her, feeling moisture in my eyes. When she looked at me now, she seemed frightened. Her eyes flickered from me, to the rifle, to the vomit and back to me. "MacCready, what's wrong?"

My reply was barely a whisper. "They told me you were dead."

Veronica pulled me into a hug now, and I felt tears spill down my cheeks. She pulled away from me and began planting kisses all over my face, before our lips collided and we sank into a deep, lengthy caress. I didn't want it to ever stop. Eventually, though, we had to come up for air, moving over to the couch to sit down and catch up.

"I'm so sorry, it's all my fault." She explained. "I didn't respond to the Railroad, I didn't think about how that would come back to you. I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

I touched my hand to her cheek. "It doesn't matter now."

"I just… I was dealing with a lot of shit," She twiddled with her hair subconsciously. "Nothing is right. Nothing has gone the way it should've."

It was then that she gave me the full low down on what she had found in the Institute. The boy-synth, the elderly leader who turned out to actually be Shaun. The sixty years she had missed. I sat and I listened, watching as her face twisted from fury to resolve, her hands shaking and her lips wavering. She told me about the Institutes true goal and how they wanted her to be a part of it, to rule them once Shaun was gone. That was when she'd realised that she belonged up here with us, and used her new relay device to transport herself up to Sanctuary. After speaking with Preston and a few traders, she'd found out that I'd returned. She still hadn't met with the Railroad, afraid to hand over the information she had received. Her heart was torn between loving her son and wanting to stop the Institute.

"I can't betray him… I just can't." She concluded. "So, I came up here to just, live, I guess?"

"Live. Yeah." I echoed her words, thinking about how little I cared about living just a few hours ago. She must've sensed my sorrow, because she placed her hand and mine now and looked into my eyes.

"Why are you back?" She asked, concern etched on her face. "I've never seen you so… wasted. What happened in the Capital Wasteland?"

I hadn't wanted to go over this so soon, but I owed her an explanation. I took in a long, shaky breath and began.

#####

 **VERONICA**

Saying that I felt guilty was an understatement. As MacCready told me how he'd been able to spend only a few sorry days with Duncan before his illness had taken over again, my heart convulsed inside my chest. All that time I'd spent in my own little bubble, mad at the world and thinking that the worst had happened, I didn't realise just how much heartache he was going through. And then to return here only to be told that I was dead… I could see now why he'd drunken himself into a stupor. Whilst he told his story, I kept an uneasy eye on the gun that was strewn on the floor. It didn't take a genius to add things up – the safety was off, it was scattered as though it had been dropped and the man before me had a darkness in his eyes that I just couldn't shake. He'd tried to end it.

All because I didn't send a goddamn message to the Railroad.

I squeezed his hand after he was done, pulling him up from his seat. We'd been in this room once before, him and I. Only last time, I was the broken one, as much as I'd tried to hide it.

"Come on, we have to get you some fresh air." I sniffed as he rose. "I told Preston that I'd meet him at Fort Independence – uh, the Castle on the east coast? It used to be a stronghold and he's taking it back now that the Minutemen are growing so quickly."

MacCready just nodded and followed me into the main bar. The patrons that dotted the area all began to murmur and twist in our direction, staring at the shell of a man that stood beside me. He groaned and I tugged at him to keep following me up the stairs and out of the door. As we left, I couldn't help but hear snippets of conversation.

"…what kind of merc is he…"

"…I won't be asking him for anything…"

"…do you think he can even aim…"

"…and the crying, so pathetic…"

I knew that he would've heard all of that, but he also must've known that he was risking his reputation by coming here to drown his sorrows. I suppose he never expected to leave in anything other than a body bag. I shuddered at what could've been. We took an amble towards the direction of the Castle, the cool night air flowing around us. He seemed to be sobering up a lot more, wiping his face and pulling his off tattered coat. I gave him a questioning look as he dropped the coat to the ground and continued to walk.

"I don't want it anymore," He said, now removing his hat and throwing it as hard as he could. "These were the clothes of a mercenary. That's not me, not now."

"Those people at the bar…" I started, but he cut me off.

"It's not that. I never wanted to be… this."

"Okay."

The walk to the Castle took a few days and we had to stop and make camp in abandoned buildings on our way. A few Raiders gave us trouble but I was able to fight them off well enough. I could see that it pained MacCready to hold his rifle, though he did help me when I was cornered. I supposed that fighting for something other than caps must've felt a bit better; with each hour, his mood began to lighten and his signature smirk showed on a couple of occasions. By the time we had finally reached the Castle, we were recalling our favourite stories about our old lives. It was just like how it had been before he left, only I could see in his eyes that he wasn't the same. His grief was palpable, his voice hollow as he spoke.

The Castle was decrepit. The entire front wall had crumbled to the ground, meaning we had to step over unstable bricks in order to walk through the entrance. MacCready held my hand to help me keep steady but I still practically fell into the courtyard, lacking both grace and dignity. Preston was waiting by a large radio tower. He frowned and walked towards us, noticing we were holding hands. The inside of the Castle seemed just as unkempt as the outer walls. A small farm was being cultivated in one corner and several dozen Minutemen bustled around the top walkways, fixing up some old artillery. A giant Mirelurk body was being pushed over one wall and into the sea. I raised my eyebrows at the sight.

"What the hell is that?"

"A Mirelurk Queen." Preston replied, still staring intently at mine and MacCready's clasped hands. "I told you I had to take this place back. There were many Mirelurks. It would've been better if we had more men, but we all survived."

"I'm sorry I didn't come down straight away," I sighed.

Preston shrugged and walked away from us, shouting over his shoulder. "Get some rest, we'll start fixing this place up tomorrow."

The sleeping quarter was one big room filled with canvas beds. Not wanting to share my space with every person here, I dragged one of the beds into the medical room – it was empty anyway, all supplies having been scavenged. MacCready and I spooned together on the single bed and he played with my hair absentmindedly as I tried to imagine what my life would be now.

"What's the plan?" I spoke up, my voice cracking slightly. I could feel a lump in my throat. "I mean… I hadn't thought this far. Ever since I thawed, I had one simple goal. Find Shaun. Well, I did that and now I don't know what to do."

MacCready gently pulled me so that I rolled over, our faces inches from each other. "My plans have all fallen through, too. Man, I said we were two sides of the same coin, didn't I? Look, I'm sorry, I wish I was there with you when you went to the Institute… I should've been there."

"No, don't." I kissed his lips softly and he closed his eyes, leaning so that our foreheads touched. "You don't apologise, ever. I… I can't even imagine…"

"It's okay." He swallowed, tugging me closer. He tried to smile but it faltered, and he had to clear his throat. "I only had one objection when I came here, too. I… I was too late. Seeing you here, in the flesh… I feel like I've got a second chance. I'll never be a good man but at least I get to see tomorrow, with you."

We stayed motionless after he said that, his eyes still closed. I didn't know what to say, how to make anything better. There was nothing that I could do for him except be here. We were both now just lost souls with no guidance, left to drift aimlessly – but at least we could do it together.

After that first night, we began to help Preston rebuild the Castle, which mainly consisted of fetching and carrying materials from one end of the yard to another, though the labour took my mind off of everything else. I only hoped it was doing the same for MacCready, who rarely spoke or smiled. I knew that this was going to be a long road for him, so I didn't push it. Every night, we would snuggle up on that single canvas bed and each relive our regrets in the form of horrible night terrors. Every morning I would get up, expecting that the Institute had found me and that I would be taken away. I was fortunate enough to hear nothing but radio silence from the world outside of my new home. The days turned into weeks and the Castle became a sturdy fortress once again.

One day, we were pacing the perimeter of the top walkways when MacCready suddenly stopped me and pointed out to sea at a small island just off the coast.

"You see that?" He said. "One day, we'll go to that island and make it our home."

Surprised by the confident tone in his voice, I grinned and raised a single eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Seems pretty isolated."

"Exactly," He grinned back and I felt my heart quicken. "Far away from trouble. We can farm our food and do trades with Preston."

I reached up and kissed him lightly. "Sounds good to me."

He placed his strong hands on my hips and continued the kiss, before cupping my face and looking into my eyes. "I'm sorry I haven't been myself. Things have been hard to process, but I promise that I'm getting better."

"It's completely understandable, I was letting you get through this in your own time."

"And I love you for that."

My jaw dropped a little and I blinked several times. "You what?"

"Jesus, Veronica, don't make this a whole thing," He rolled his eyes.

I punched his arm. "Love you, too."

A few days later and everything seemed to be getting better. MacCready was being sarcastic and coy with everyone we came across, Preston was helping me to establish trade routes with nearby settlements and we managed to start a broadcast on the radio so that in the event that we were needed, Preston could call all the Minutemen to arms and we would be there straight away. Life was moving forward, as hard as the past had been. And then that noise happened.

A whooshing, zapping noise that I found oh-so familiar. Dropping the corn that I had been harvesting, I ran to the stairs and up to the top walkway, leaning against the railing to get a better look. MacCready ran after me, shouting to ask me what was wrong. I squinted into the distance, a storm brewing in my gut, and saw exactly what I expected. Just a few meters away, a small army of synths armed with laser pistols was walking towards the Castle. More zapping noises occurred and a group of men in long, black coats appeared in a flash of blue colour, all armed with laser rifles. MacCready was looking at them too, groaning in recognition. Feeling a shiver of fear spiral down my spine, I turned and shouted across the courtyard.

"Synths and Coursers inbound! We're under attack!"


	20. Atom Bomb Baby

_Got a doll, baby, I love her so  
Nothing else like her anywhere you go  
Man, she's anything but calm  
A regular pint-sized atom bomb_

 **VERONICA**

"Synths and Coursers inbound! We're under attack!"

My voice rang out across the vast space and I saw Preston whip his head around at my urgency. He raced towards the stairs and was at my side, quick as a flash. No sooner had he seen the enemy for himself, he was blurting out commands at all of the other Minutemen that had stopped in their tracks. Some headed towards the heavy artillery, loading up the canons for attack, whilst others headed towards the armoury. Preston barked at me to take a small group to the front wall, the only way into the Castle, and make sure it was fortified. I nodded and grabbed MacCready's hand, pulling him with me as we took the stairs two at a time. As we jogged towards the main entrance, I yelled at a nearby woman and two young men to follow me.

"The Institute is here," I breathed as we approached our destination. "We're the front line, okay? This is the only way they can get in here and we've got several turrets in position, we just need to knock down anyone who makes it through. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am." The group agreed, now busying themselves with loading their weapons. I checked my own laser pistol for ammo, hands shaking.

"We've handled this before, we can do it again." I said as much to myself as to MacCready, although I was sensing his discomfort.

"It was one Courser last time," His voice broke. "And only a handful of synths. This is an entire army!"

"We've got an army now," I reminded him, gesturing to the chaos around us. Minutemen were scattering everywhere, finding their positions that had been decided during countless drills that Preston had put us through. It wasn't the best scene to back up my argument. Preston himself was still at the top wall, watching the synth army with a snarl on his face.

I cocked my gun and took up my rehearsed spot on a tall guard post next to a turret. MacCready took up the other post, his eyes never leaving me. My whole body was tremoring now. I couldn't help but think that this was all my fault. I'd brought them here.

A grim silence hung in the air as we waited for the inevitable attack. All that could be heard was the stomping of a hundred manufactured feet as they marched our way. I gripped my gun and whispered a prayer under my breath. Why would Shaun do this? Why would he kill his own mother?

Because I turned my back on him.

An explosion ripped through my train of thought and I looked up to see that one of our artillery men had fired their canon, blasting a good chunk of the synths that had now approached the front of the Castle. Myself and my small group began to fire at the others, trying to stop them from getting to the court yard. I couldn't see any Coursers which concerned me – they had a knack for camouflaging their entire bodies. A ripple ran past below and I realised that one had got through, but it was too late, and several Coursers suddenly appeared, dropping their invisibility and surrounding the radio tower. I strayed from my post as MacCready shouted my name, determined to bring the bastards down. It seemed as though they were trying to cut the signal to the Minutemen frequency – one of them began to sabotage the signal booster whilst three others cornered the Minuteman that had been trying to broadcast a distress call.

I shot at one of them, hitting his shoulder and knocking him off kilter. He turned to me with a scowl, but I kept shooting, watching as sparks flew from his damaged arm. He strode towards me, aiming for my chest, so I dodged to one side as he pulled the trigger and rolled towards him, springing up closer to his body so that when I fired again, I got his face. The Courser dropped to the ground, defeated, and another fell to the floor next to me as the Minuteman I'd been trying to protect thrust a dagger into its torso. I gave the young man a quick nod and we set to work on the other two Coursers, our training coming into effect. My body began to ache from the burden of dodging bullets and I knew that I couldn't keep going – there were still so many synths and they had all but breached the Castle now. I turned my attention to Preston on the top wall; he was firing over the edge as the synths began to clamber up the side. There were too many for him and a few had already got over.

"Veronica!" Someone screamed my name from behind and I swivelled on my feet to find MacCready punching a synth to the ground just before it had reached me. He grabbed my shoulder hastily. "You've got to get out of here!"

"No!" I shook him off. "This is my fight."

"You don't know that!" MacCready had a look in his eyes that I knew all too well. Fear. "I can't lose you again, please just go!"

There was no time to reply, I had to keep going. I ran from his position, ignoring his protests, and threw myself back into the mayhem. All over, both man and machine were being brutally killed. I tried not to think about it as I hopped over lifeless bodies, racing to the top of the Castle walls to get a better vantage point. From there, I joined up with Preston, slamming the butt of my gun into the synths that had got up here.

A burning sensation ripped through my thigh and I cried out, clutching the area. Behind me, a Courser laughed in victory and shot at me again, this time hitting my other leg. With a scream, I fell to the floor, unable to pick myself back up. The Courser began to loom over me so I attempted to get him back – he kicked the gun from my hands, his heavy boot colliding with my fingers with devastating force. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes but I couldn't let him see. I spat up at the horrid thing. He glowered at me, a mocking smile creeping on his face.

"Gah!" MacCready shoved into the Courser, wrestling him to the ground and pinning his arms. I tried to move so that I could help, but my legs felt like they were on fire and I just couldn't find the strength to get up. Noises echoed around me and the world began to fade. I called out, my voice nothing but a whisper. My last thought before I fell unconscious was of Shaun.

#####

 **MACCREADY**

The Courser pushed me over and I tumbled to the ground with a grunt. As he picked himself back up, I grabbed his ankle and brought him back to my level, punching his gut as hard as I could and hauling myself back to my feet. I stomped a heavy foot onto his chest, feeling it cave under the pressure. Quick as a flash I had my sniper aimed at his forehead, so without hesitation, I pulled the trigger. Collecting myself, I looked for Veronica – she was out cold beside me, a sitting target. Trying my hardest not to curse under my breath, I picked her up and threw her body over my shoulder, catching the smell of burning flesh. She'd been hit in both legs and the wounds were growing. I jogged with her on my shoulders, down to the courtyard, shooting at any synths that tried to get to us on the way. Finally, I reached the door to our make-shift sleeping quarters in the medical room, so I yelled at two of our men to keep a guard whilst I threw her onto the canvas bed.

I injected a stimpak into each leg, hearing a moan escape her lips, and frantically began to search the room for anything to stop the flesh from burning away. There were holes in her tattered jeans where the laser had gone through the denim, and now her skin was melting from her body, blood and puss seeping out. I couldn't find anything to clean the area, so in panic, I grabbed a nearby rag, tore it in half with my teeth and began to press it into the two injuries. Her head lolled from one side to the other but I took that as a good sign, that she was still with me.

"Why did you have to be so stubborn," I muttered. Outside, I could hear people screaming. I looked from Veronica to the door and back again, before sighing. "I'm sorry… I have to help them."

I leant down and kissed her forehead lightly, the taste of salt lingering on my lips. With one last look at her pale face, I pushed myself from her and burst back through the door, slamming it behind me. There was a heavy pallet loaded with wood nearby, so I began to push it across the door to use as a barricade. Seeing my struggle, the two Minutemen that had been guarding us began to help, and we managed to bar the door effectively. There was no way anything was getting through that any time soon – I just hoped that we all survived the ordeal so someone could let her out after.

The battle went on for a while, though I managed to find a decent place to spot enemies and shoot them down with my rifle. After what felt like hours, the synths suddenly began to retreat, running out of the Castle, disappearing in blue lights. The Minutemen around me began to cheer but I didn't join in. All around were the bodies of those who had been murdered in what felt like such an unnecessary attack. Preston seemed to be able to read my mind – he wandered over to me as I stared at a pool of blood near my feet.

"I've lost half my men." He croaked. "And for what? We've never declared war on the Institute. What was all this for?"

"It's Goddamn insanity." I agreed and Preston placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you for fighting our corner," He sighed and removed his hand, looking to the sky. "I misjudged you, that's for sure. When Veronica first brought you to Sanctuary, I thought I had you all figured out. Just some mercenary scumbag looking for his next pay check. Even when you started helping to build settlements, I convinced myself it was just a ploy. The day you and Veronica suddenly disappeared, I thought you might've finally grown bored of her and… I don't know, killed her?"

"I would never…" I began, but he cut me off.

"I know that now," He frowned. "I was surprised when she returned to us, having been to the Institute, but I never thought in a million years that I'd see you again. Now, here you are, fighting alongside me and my people."

I shrugged and gave a small chuckle. "I'm just as shocked as you are, man. I always liked you guys, but I never thought I'd join you."

"Is that an official request to join?" Preston joked, raising an eyebrow.

"God, no!" I laughed. "I admire you… from a distance. I'm only here for her."

Preston nodded thoughtfully. "You love her."

A thought suddenly struck me and I jogged over to the medical room, still barricaded with the pallet of wood. I gestured for Preston to help me push, and with a heave we managed to free the door. Veronica was still laid on the bed, beads of sweat on her forehead, her skin paler than ever. I ran to her side and knelt, feeling a familiar sensation ripple through me – I'd been here before only weeks ago, with Duncan. Swallowing hard, I checked on her wounds. The burning seemed to have stopped.

"She was hit?" Preston asked, feeling her head.

"Badly." I nodded. "I tried to make her leave but she insisted. She was so mad."

"Hey, it's going to be okay. Her body will have gone into shock, that's all. I'll use the radio tower to call out for any caravans that might be passing by, see if we can get a doctor here."

"That's… thanks, Preston."

He smiled at me warmly before leaving the room, and I felt my shoulders physically drop, the pressure fading from my head. Veronica let out a small groan beside me so I stroked her golden hair, watching her chest rise and fall with her breathing, lost in the beauty of her face.

Only a few days ago, we'd been discussing our future, as if it was clear and mapped out.

Now that the Institute were attacking innocents on a much larger scale than ever, who knew what tomorrow would bring?


	21. Easy Living

_Living for you  
Is easy living  
It's easy to live  
When you're in love  
And I'm so in love  
There's nothing in life but you_

 **VERONICA**

A slight chill in the breeze sent a tingle down my exposed arms as I stood on the Castle wall, staring at the island in the distance. I could see birds circling the shore, undisturbed and free, free to fly as fast as their wings could take them. It was early evening and a pink tone had cascaded along the sky, leaving swirls of fluffy clouds on the horizon and an unfamiliar sense of peace in the atmosphere. I could've stayed here forever, gazing upon that wonderful, almost impossible sight before me. I ached for a time when my life could feel as calm as those waters lapping against the islands' coast. I stepped forward a little to get a better view, the tightness of my charred skin on my thighs reminding me that everything I had done in the past week was going to be worth it.

I touched my burns absentmindedly, grateful that the doctor had been able to speed up the healing time with his remedies. The area there would never be the same again, scars to commemorate the day I made the most important decision of my life. After I'd woken, the battle was over and the Minutemen were worse for it. I'd had to sit back and watch as MacCready, Preston and the other survivors buried the dead. Once the ceremonies had been completed, I'd laid in my bed and recounted everything I knew to be true.

I was never going back to my old life, no matter how much I wished for it.

I wanted to spend the rest of my days here helping others.

My son wanted to spend his numbered days destroying other lives to benefit his skewered vision of the future.

My son was not really my son. I hadn't raised him. He didn't know me and I didn't know him.

That's when I'd concluded that I had to stop this madness once and for all. But to do so required help and lots of it. So, as soon as my legs were strong enough that I could walk, MacCready and I set out on a mission to recruit as many people as we could. Preston stayed behind to broadcast across the Commonwealth and train anyone who applied. One week later and here I was, standing above the courtyard filled with friends, acquaintances, and those who simply wanted to be a part of something big. I turned my attention to that small group of people now, happy to spot familiar faces in the throng, like Piper and Nick.

I'd tried to find Danse, but he and his team were no longer at Cambridge Police Station. Maybe that had been for the best, considering his passionate beliefs that synths were not entitled to live among us. He would more than likely inform the entire Brotherhood of Steel, causing a much larger scale war that I anticipated, and innocent synth lives would be in danger. I'd also thought about attempting to reconnect with the Railroad, but their ideals had always scared me a little. They'd always appeared happy to mow down any human who got in their way so long as it meant saving a synth – I didn't agree with that mindset either. I didn't see things in black and white like those two factions; I didn't want to kill innocent synths as much as I didn't want to kill innocent humans. Preston had promised me that whatever happened next, we would try to save as many people as possible, no matter where their loyalties were. That thought comforted me when I got cold feet about our plan. The plan was… extreme. But necessary. We called it The Nuclear Option.

I was going to help smuggle the Minutemen into the Institute so that they could plant a bomb and blow up everything they had ever built. Everything Shaun stood for. Preston had originally planned to simply sabotage the laboratories to stop synth production. I was the one who had suggested we set the whole place aflame. If we didn't, they would find a way to continue their work. We had to scoop the Institute out of the world and make sure that it didn't harm anyone ever again.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice when MacCready joined me by my side. He slipped a warm, calloused hand into mine and I jumped a little at the surprise, entangling my fingers with his once my shock cooled down. Everything that I had been through had left me feeling jumpy and nervous. As though I was being watched.

"Hey there, General." He said, softly.

I groaned at the title that Preston had given me, still unsure whether or not I truly deserved such an accolade. MacCready squeezed my hand in response and smirked at me.

"Tomorrow is the big day," I gulped. "Do you think I should go through with this?"

"It's not up to me," He let go of my hand to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me close. I rested my head on his chest. "Only you can decide whether or not you go through with this. I can completely understand your reluctance."

I cocked my head to the side, thoughtfully. "And if I decide not to?"

"Then we take a boat and head on over there," He nodded at the island. "I told you, that's where our future starts. It doesn't matter what we do now so long as you're with me when I build a house on that chunk of land."

I smiled and took a deep breath. "What did I do to deserve you?"

We stood there for a long while, until the sun was low in the sky and all the birds had moved on to better things. The tide was changing and the air was cooling down, which I was not grateful for since the only clothes I could find at the Castle had been ragged and thin. Strangely, I missed my blue Vault suit, which had been left behind at the Rexford hotel – it was useless now, anyway, a hole torn in the middle from my encounter with the Feral Ghoul in Med-Tek. Perhaps that was good thing, a symbolic gesture of letting the past go?

Eventually we descended into the courtyard and made our way to our bunk in the medical bay. There was a bloody stain on the bottom half from where I'd been laid after my legs had been shot, and no matter how much I'd scrubbed at the damn thing, it wouldn't disappear. Still, these sleeping conditions were most likely far better than some, and my time in the Commonwealth was shaping me into a hardened survivor of sorts. I no longer missed my comfy king-sized mattress or a working television. All the luxuries of the past were just memories, a fading echo of a life I wasn't never meant to lead. I carefully hitched myself onto the bed, feeling the tight skin on my legs stretch and crack. MacCready followed suit, taking his place behind me and coiling his arm around my body until I felt warm and safe.

"I'm glad I bought you," I joked, feeling all of my fear melt as he held me close.

"Me too," He replied, his breath tickling my neck with every exhale of breath. "You're the best boss I ever had. For starters, you let me sleep with you."

"Perks of the job," I sighed happily, rolling over so that I could look at his face. Those prominent cheekbones, his sparkling eyes and his wiry goatee.

When we'd first met, I'd been shocked to learn how young he was compared to his gruff appearance. He'd laughed about it, putting it down to the stress of living in this world. I knew exactly what he meant now, having been in post-apocalyptic Boston for longer than I could even comprehend. Every turn, there was something or someone ready to kill us. On top of the harsh situation I'd found myself in with Shaun, I had to try and keep myself alive constantly, as if it was just one of those daily tasks to make sure that you were not starving to death or being ripped apart by a Yao Guai. Sure, as time wore on, it became easier to deal with. However, a few days ago, I'd caught my reflection in an old car mirror, and I'd noticed white hairs in amongst my red locks, how sunken my cheeks appeared and how dark my eyes had become. I looked at least twenty years older.

I was starting to take on the same vibe as everyone else in the Commonwealth. Tired, desensitised and experienced.

"What are you thinking about?" MacCready whispered, stroking my bottom lip with his thumb.

I didn't want to go into my superficial insecurities, but something else had also been on my mind recently. "Tomorrow… it's not going to be easy."

He frowned a little before closing the gap between us with a tender yet heated kiss. Butterflies filled my stomach and it was over all too soon.

"Nothing in my life has been easy," He chuckled. "But once this is over, it will be. As long as we're still together, everything will be perfect."

Now it was my turn to pounce him with a kiss, which he eagerly returned, and soon I parted my lips to invite him for more than just a quick peck. I pushed at his chest, forcing him onto his back so that I could straddle him, sinking deeper and deeper into the kiss until neither of us could resist it any more. It was the first time since we had reunited that we had done this and it showed, our hunger for each other intensifying with every subtle movement of our hips. Soon, clothes were being thrown carelessly across the darkening space, and I felt a contrast between the cold night air and his warm, toasty body. Aware of the others just outside the door, I had to stifle my content groans of pleasure, and we giggled a little at the hilarity of it all; we were like teenagers, not wanting to be caught.

I remembered why being with MacCready in this way had been so tantalising in the first place, besides the fact that I cared for him deeply. All of my worries about tomorrow dissipated in a dizzying whirlwind of serenity. It was as though nothing else in the world mattered in that moment.

The rhythm increased until we exploded into each other, breathless and free and happy.

#####

 **MACCREADY**

I'd made it pretty clear during the plan negotiations that I was not going to leave Veronica's side at any time during our mission. Unfortunately, I couldn't go to the Institute with her, as the relay in her Pip-Boy only transported the wearer. Still, as everyone travelled to the entrance of a well-hidden sewage pipe, which happened to be near the CIT building, I stuck to her like glue. There was us, Preston, Nick, Piper, Sturges and thirty-six Minutemen – it wasn't a lot, but it was all we had. We reached the grate, at this point waist deep in the river, and her Pip-Boy began to beep at the rising radiation levels. Preston grabbed the grate and pulled, letting it splash into the waters around us. Inside was just darkness, no clue as to what was ahead of us.

"Why would it be this simple?" Piper scoffed, tapping her leg with what was most likely nerves. "There's no way they'd leave such an obvious entry point here without taking precautions."

"The schematics showed that there is a locked door at the other end of this pipe," Veronica peered into the dark. "But it's more than just that, there's all these security measures and laser turrets. Anyone unlucky enough to venture down there is met with a gruesome death."

I glanced at her legs, wondering if they were feeling any better than before. She'd been very lucky that the laser hadn't cut through any deeper, or else she may not have been able to walk. I shook my head, annoyed at myself for thinking about things that could've been – now was the time to live in the present.

"This part of the plan is easy," Preston addressed the whole group of Minutemen. "We make the journey down this pipe and disarm any turrets we come across. Meanwhile, Veronica will teleport into the Institute and hack into the security systems to allow us access. Once clear, we can enter and begin to search for the reactor room."

"Is everybody ready?" Veronica asked, her eyes falling on mine. "I promise I'll see you in ten minutes time."

I pulled her into an embrace, taking in her scent. "I know. You've got this."

Breaking off our hug, she tapped into her Pip-Boy and gave everyone a quick, one fingered salute. I tried not to let the wave of anxiety in my stomach take over my mind as she disappeared in a flash of blue light. My throat tightened and became dry. Piper put a hand on my shoulder as the others began to file into the sewage pipe. "Veronica is strong, she can handle herself."

"Man, do I know that." I laughed, but I appreciated her words. I hadn't thought she'd liked me that much when we'd first met all that time ago. In fact, something about the way she looked at Veronica made me think that perhaps I wasn't the only want who cared for the Vault Dweller as more than a friend.

We followed the last of our little army into the drainage facility and jogged through the stagnant water. A lot of complaints about smell and lack of light made me chuckle. It was weird being part of a larger unit again, like I had been with the Gunners, only this time I knew that I was on the right team. We were going to do some good in the world. I only hoped that this would help to correct a lot of the bad karma in my life.

We reached the end of the tunnel, which led into a large big room. The floor became a ramp, elevating us from the waters and onto a concrete platform, and another pipe in the wall sent a waterfall of sewage into the main lake. Up on the concrete, there was a security door and two laser turrets in the ceiling above it, which turned towards us as we noisily marched forward, aiming their barrels at us. I reacted quickly, taking one of them out with my sniper rifle just as Preston fired his musket at the other, and they both erupted into flames.

"Now we wait for Veronica," Nick noted, his dry tone cutting through the sound of splashing water. He was still wearing the same long coat and detective hat he'd had on when we'd rescued him from Skinny Malone, the exposed wiring in his neck glinting in the limited light around us.

"Is it weird being back here?" I asked.

"I don't remember this place," He shook his head. "Bastards wiped most of my memories before they dumped me on the street."

"Oh, Nick…" Piper cocked her head to the side. "At least you can exact some kind of revenge. It would make a great story for the paper."

"Yeah, yeah, let's keep things off the record for now."

Suddenly, a loud click made us all jump, and everyone clutched at their weapons. A humming noise came from the door and it slowly opened. My heart skipped a beat, knowing that this meant that Veronica had made it and was safe – at least for now – and we all piled into the next room.

The entire underground plumbing system was like a maze, though luckily, Sturges had a drawn copy of the schematics to help us. More turrets came into our path, injuring a couple of the less experienced members of our team, but on the whole, we managed to navigate the area pretty well and were soon entering a more clinical looking section of the chamber. Everything became white and clean-looking, meaning that we left dirty footprints everywhere we stepped. Soon, we reached another security door, though it was already open and an anxious looking Veronica was leaning against the frame, biting her nails. An alarm was blaring in the distance and the sound of running feet could be heard below. I ignored it all, throwing my arms around Veronica.

"They know you're here," She warned, voice shaking. "I mean, I knew this would happen. Just… we need to be careful. I knew for a fact that there is a shit load of Coursers here, and a lot of generation one's."

"It will be like the battle at the Castle." Preston agreed. "We've done this once before and we can do it again, as long as everyone remembers the main goal. Shoot as we go, but we must get to the reactor core."

I nodded and checked the ammo in my rifle as everyone did the same. Veronica was looking at me, her eyes wide and glimmering. She was terrified. I had to admit, going head to head with the Institute had never been on my bucket list. I squeezed her hand and gave her a smirk, earning a small smile for my effort. Piper cocked a pistol behind me, blowing hair from her face.

"Let's make a good story, people!"

Everyone cheered and we began to run towards the alarms. Veronica took a deep breath and charged ahead, her own gun firmly in her hands. We launched ourselves into what the schematics had told us would be Bioscience, a large laboratory filled with plants. As we approached, many people in lab coats screamed and hid behind tables, whilst others dressed in black aimed their weapons at us. I couldn't be sure who, but one of us shot first and a firefight broke out, causing the scientists that were hiding to panic and scatter.

"Don't kill the staff!" Veronica yelled and began to run in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?" I shouted at her, trying not to take my eyes off of the targets ahead. She ignored me and vanished behind a door. She was meant to be heading to Shaun's office to set off the evacuation notice, and I was pretty sure that wasn't the right way. I couldn't follow her, I had to protect these people – already, several Coursers were dead but a couple of ours were injured too, limping towards the exit. As we pushed past the synths and through the door into the main atrium, the alarm became deafening.

I couldn't think about what Veronica was doing right now, because at least it wasn't here – I counted thirty Coursers as they came towards us, plus several synths with shock batons. I did my best to get as many killshots as possible, hitting them square in the head, but the Coursers could take more than one bullet. We were severely outnumbered and they were closing in on us.

In the frantic chaos of it all, a synth dropped dead beside me and a blue orb rolled from his pocket. I grabbed the thing, realising that it was some kind of grenade, and pulled the pin, throwing it into the crowd of Coursers. An electric blue explosion blasted them from their feet, sending synthetic body parts flying into the air. Preston cheered and we continued on, heading towards the reactor core. I turned around, trying to pinpoint where any other enemies may be, when I saw Veronica running from the Bioscience lab and heading for a flight of stairs. A Courser had spotted her and was following her.

I had to help the others.

I had to help her.

In an instance I knew exactly what I wanted to do, so I abandoned the fight and ran towards Veronica. She didn't know she was being followed and I was damned if she was going to be killed on my watch.

At the top of the stairs, the Courser was slunk against the wall, obviously trying to remain unseen as Veronica entered a room labelled 'director'. It smiled and pressed its palm, rendering itself invisible, and began to slowly creep into the room after her. I growled and leapt at it, throwing my whole weight into its back so that we tumbled to the floor, knocking his camouflage off. I punched it in the face twice, then stood up and shot it three times until I was satisfied that it was dead.

When I looked up, Veronica was staring at me, visibly shaken.

"It's okay, I'm here," I soothed, assuming the Courser was the reason for her worry. It was then that she moved her head and I followed her gaze, now seeing the bed in the corner of the room. An old man was laid there, eyes boring into us with such a furious hatred that I was momentarily taken aback. We moved closer, walking past the computer desk that we'd come here for, until Veronica fell to her knees and tried to grab the old man's hand – he snatched it away and coughed, almost choking on his own breath. Veronica turned to look at me, tears streaming silently from her beautiful eyes, and everything suddenly became clear. I looked again at that pathetic, dying man in front of me and saw the familiarity in his features.

"Shaun."


	22. Rocket 69

_I'll make you mighty happy  
That I'm your girl  
We'll fly through the sky  
And go out of this world_

 **VERONICA**

Time seemed to slow to a gruelling pace as I knelt besides the waning figure laid in front of me – I could feel MacCready close behind, the warmth of his body comforting my own as I tried to hold back the inevitable sobs that were currently lodged in my throat. The old man snatched his hand away from mine as I tried to take it, his papery skin as cold as ice and so eerily transparent that the blue of his veins gave an unearthly tinge to his complexion. The harshness of this reaction and the hatred in his grey eyes was enough to release a small cry from me, and MacCready rested a hand on my shoulder – though appreciated, I ignored the gesture, instead keeping my full attention on Shaun. Once my beautiful baby boy, innocent and pure. Now a bitter old man, twisted with rage and pain.

I found my voice, forcing myself to buckle up and be strong. I had already known that this would happen. I had expected this meeting. "I'm sorry that it had to come to this, Shaun."

"Sorry?" He spat back, before erupting into chesty coughs. Once they had subsided, he cleared his throat and sneered at me. "You can't be that sorry if you're going through with this. It's not enough that I lay here, dying… now you plan on, what, destroying everything?"

"Shaun…" I croaked, wiping tears from my eyes.

"Tell me then, under what righteous pretence have you justified this atrocity?" He cut me off, snarling.

A fire stirred in my stomach at his ignorant words and I quickly stood up so that I could loom over him. MacCready leaned in and tried to whisper in my ear but I waved him off. "Seriously? Are you seriously asking me that question? Okay, so when I first realised what was going on here, I already had concerns. So, what, you believe that you're humanity's last hope, some high and mighty greater power, yet you murder and kidnap those above ground and treat it like it's all for science!"

"I explained this…"

"No, it's my turn to talk." I pointed a finger at him, suddenly unable to control my emotions. Tears streamed down my face. "No matter what you say, I will not sympathise with the Institute's corrupt ideals. You've stripped entire settlements for parts, leaving bodies in your wake. You're monsters!"

Shaun shifted in his bed, clearly frustrated. "So that is all this is, a rebellion? I'm sorry, but it is a poor excuse. You may not believe me, but this is all for the greater good of mankind."

"And attacking the Minutemen, how does that fit in with your plans?" I shrieked. MacCready grabbed my hand but I pushed him away. "You killed my friends. My… my family. You sent those synths to murder an innocent group of people that had nothing but good intentions. What did they do to hurt you?"

"It's… more complicated than that." Shaun frowned. "They were growing in number. If they continued to rebuild the world above, it would slow down our plans."

I dropped my hands to my side and let out a groan, realisation hitting me like a train. Shaun had issued the attack because he wanted everyone on the surface to die faster. The Minutemen were halting the process. The sickening truth was laid out before me, simple and yet so hard to swallow. This was not who I wanted my baby to be. The Institute had taken that away from me a long time ago and now there was definitely no going back. Not wanting to entertain him for second longer than I had to, I spun away from his deathbed and strode towards his personal terminal to begin hacking in, using all of the knowledge I had learned during my stay here to gain access. I highly doubted that Shaun would want to just give me his password.

"Ah, you didn't just come up here to gloat, I see." He piped up from his corner, but I shook my head and tried to block him out. "What do you think you are doing now?"

"If you must know," I sighed. "I need to issue an evacuation notice to get your staff and any none-hostile synths out of here before the bomb goes off."

"Bomb? You've already murdered many downstairs, why bother with the bomb?"

"I'm not killing anyone who isn't trying to kill me," Anger seeped from every bone in my body – the computer wasn't playing, I was struggling to get in and his comments were only making me feel more irritable. "You know, if you helped me, fewer would die."

Shaun laughed shortly, then coughed. "A ridiculous notion."

"Completely ridiculous, yes." I agreed, giving MacCready a side-long glance. He had taken up station by the door and was guarding it for us. He gave me a concerned look and nodded at the exit. I knew what that meant – I was running out of time. The bomb was going to be set off remotely, but we had all agreed to get out as quickly as possible to prevent any unnecessary casualties. The unspoken implication of this was that anyone not at the rendezvous point may get left behind if they took too long.

"The password…" Shaun whispered so quietly that I almost didn't hear him. I turned around slowly and saw him, arm outstretched, a crumpled piece of paper balancing precariously between his bony fingers. I walked over and took the scrap, eyeing the old man carefully. He looked pained. "I would be glad if fewer died. Please, issue the evacuation notice."

"Thank you." I swallowed. As I went back to the terminal, I heard him curse under his breath. I knew he still hated me, but at least he had helped a little. I suddenly felt torn yet again – not that I had any other option at this point. I couldn't let the team down. The password was a series of numbers and symbols, completely random and completely hack proof. Without this, I would never have got in. I quickly found my way to the security systems and started the evacuation, causing the original sirens that had been deafening us to halt, now replaced by an even higher pitched bleating. A calm, female voice urged people to follow protocol and remove themselves from the building. I hoped to God that this would work. As I stood back from the computer, I felt a hand clasp over my arm and looked up to see MacCready, eyes searching my own.

"We have to go," He gulped, pulling me towards the door. I resisted a little, unable to leave Shaun.

"Wait," I turned to my attention to my kin, my heart aching with all the things that could've been. Even after all of this, I still loved him. He was my son. "I can't leave you… come with us."

Shaun looked at me as though I had lost my mind. "I would rather suffocate in the rubble than take my final breath in that filthy hell above. Now, get out. We have nothing more to say to one another."

I blinked back hot tears and nodded curtly, understanding in that instant that I had completely missed any opportunity I had to be his mother. It was clear that my actions were only pushing him further away, something that I had always known would happen, yet I had hoped in these moments that there was some way I could change that. No, I was doing the right thing, that was the only thing I was certain about. I had to stop Shaun from hurting anyone else, no matter what that cost was to me. I thought back to the day he was first abducted, the pain of my child being torn away from me, the feeling of utter despair and helplessness as all I could do was watch it unfold.

I was reliving it. It was happening again. MacCready cradled me and guiding me to the exit. I complied, unable to do much else than stare blankly; I felt numb. We reached the bottom of the stairs, all the while he apologised. I could see his own eyes welling up and I wondered if all of this was bringing back his own grief. I was going to ask him if he was okay, when we were interrupted by an out of breath Piper running towards us. Her hat was missing, her hair frayed and wild and her cheek was bleeding. I rushed over to her to check the cut, but she pushed me off coolly before giving me her trademark smile.

"I'm okay, Blue." She smoothed her jacket down and laughed a little. "This has been insane, I can't wait to write about this. Now come on, everyone's going to the relay room. The bomb has been secured and Sturges thinks he's managed to crack the sequence, so we should be able to teleport out of here."

#####

 **MACCREADY**

We ran with Piper towards the relay room and I had to steal myself as we entered the atrium – bodies littered the area, mostly synths but also Minutemen. The river that circle the centre was tainted with deep red blood. I was used to death, having been on the wrong side of the gun for such a long time, but I'd never been in a war before. The scene caught me off guard and I felt a pang of sorrow in my gut. One of ours was still dealing with two Coursers as we approached our destination, and Veronica threw herself into the fray – I hoped what we were witnessing wasn't making her feel bad for spending most of our time with Shaun. It was also something that needed to be done, no matter how painful. I was proud of her.

She managed to take one Courser down with two bullets to the neck and a swift kick in the torso, but the other was still shooting at the Minuteman, his laser beams managing to harmlessly absorb into her leather armour. Still, she was grimacing and I imagined it hurt to take those shots regardless. Piper grabbed the Courser from behind and ragged him harshly, before pressing her pistol into the side of his head. The Minuteman pointed her own laser musket at him and they both pulled their triggers at the same time, blasting the synthetic skin from his skull and revealing the complex wiring underneath. In a moment of triumph, the both cheered, jumped up and high-fived each other – when their eyes met, Piper gulped and her cheeks flamed red. The Minuteman, a small brunette with a pointy nose, narrowed her eyes at the reporter before relaxing into a smile. I smirked at Veronica knowingly.

"Relay room?" I asked, interrupting the scene before me.

"Oh, uh, this way." The Minuteman raised her eyebrows at Piper before running off, and we all followed behind.

The room was not as full as I had hoped, with less than half of the people we had come here with. Preston was tending to the wounded, Nick was at a terminal and Sturges was messing with the relay controls. Veronica tapped Preston on the shoulder and said something that I didn't quite hear, but he stopped bandaging the person in front of him and started to guide them towards the what I could only assume was the relay pad. As everyone began to file in, Sturges looked up.

"Can the wounded please step out?" He asked. "I've figured out a way to send you guys straight to the Castle so you can get yourselves patched up. Preston, Veronica and anyone who is still ready for a fight, will be transported to a nearby rooftop to set off the detonator."

The group shifted and I put myself in the relay with Veronica, clutching her hand and squeezing it lightly. She squeezed back and look at me, her eyes unreadable. Piper, Preston and three others joined us, including Pipers new friend. Nick removed himself from the monitor he'd been at and ran over to us as well.

"I've checked the systems and we're the only living organisms left in the building, besides one upstairs. Do you want me to go check it out?" He asked.

"No," Veronica frowned. "No, he doesn't want to be saved."

"Well, then," Nick couldn't express emotion on his face, but his voice was laced with uncertainty. "If you're sure, that means the evacuation worked. We should be safe to detonate."

"Doesn't that only pick up humans though?" Piper winced. "There might still be some synths here."

"There's no way we could scout the whole facility," I sighed. "We're just going to have to trust that they made it out."

Suddenly, the door to the relay room burst open, and a small red-haired boy ran through towards us, fear painted across his face. He panted, scanning the room before spotting Veronica and bolting towards her. I recognised him as the kid from Kellogg's memories.

"Wha-" Veronica gasped as the child clung to her waist. "Sh-shaun?"

"Mom!" The boy cried. "I'm so scared, mom! Don't leave me here!"

"Mom?" I looked at Veronica, thoroughly confused.

She leaned over to me and whispered. "Synth."

"Please, mom!" The synth cried, and I could see the cogs in Veronica's mind as she considered the implications. I remembered her telling me that the real Shaun had created a child synth of himself in order to fulfil some weird scientific experiment of his. It had been controversial, even amongst the Institute staff, due to the fact that synths don't age and this poor boy would remain ten years old forever. However, when Veronica had first met him, he'd apparently panicked at the sight of her, because she was a stranger. Why was he now calling her mom?

"Mom!" Synth-Shaun called out again.

"Hurry guys," Sturges frowned. "I think there are still some Coursers."

Veronica looked at me, silently asking me for an answer. I didn't know what to say. She broke her gaze with me and glanced down at the small boy, before pulling him into an embrace. "Of course, you're coming with us. I love you, Shaun."

Her eyes came back to me, like she wanted approval, but I just smiled warmly at her and clapped my hands together. "Sturges, it's time! Let's go!"

"Okay Shaun," Veronica pushed the child out of the relay pad. "You're going with Uncle Sturges back to the Castle, okay? I'll be home soon."

"But, mom!"

"It'll be alright. I promise."

She stepped back into position next to me and took my hand again. I was still so proud of her, and could not blame her one bit for keeping the child. I knew that if I had the chance to have Duncan back, even as a synth, I would take it without hesitation. I reached towards her for a kiss, our faces meeting just as a blue light engulfed the space around us, and I felt my body lift into the air. Our mouths stayed pressed together, the weightlessness of being teleported tangling with the sensation of her lips as we were transported away.

Just one more thing to accomplish before our lives could truly begin.


	23. It's All Over, But The Crying

_It's all over, but the dreaming  
Poor little dreams that keep trying to come true  
It's all over, but the crying  
And I can't get over crying over you_

 **MACCREADY**

My feet were suddenly and violently met with the ground once again, and my stomach lurched as the world around me materialised. I was still pressed against Veronica, our hands clasped together as our kiss was completed. I pulled away from her, a dizziness coming over me. She just smiled that sweet smile and put a comforting hand on my arm. I guessed this was the work of the relay – she had told me that the first time was a sickening experience. I swallowed the lump in my throat, determined not to barf, and blinked at the light around us. We had been moved to a rooftop a safe distance from the CIT Rotunda, where other Minutemen had already been stationed with the detonator. Preston had requested that a small group stayed behind when we infiltrated the Institute so that they could evacuate any nearby settlements before the explosion.

Now here we stood, on the edge of the world, just one button away from ridding the Commonwealth of a major threat. Sure, there would still be Super Mutants and Raiders to deal with, but now we wouldn't have to fear random kidnappings and replaced loved ones. I believed that everyone here would sleep better knowing that the Institute was gone once and for all.

I guided Veronica over to the detonator that sat on the low wall that surrounded the roof. She glanced around herself, uncertain, as the breeze whipped her gorgeous auburn locks around her head. Preston cleared his throat.

"It's all yours, General." He motioned. Veronica nodded rapidly and held her hand over the button, her pale, slender fingers shaking.

"It's okay," I whispered, covering her hand with my own. "We'll do it together."

A look of defiance spread across her features and she took a deep breath. "1… 2… 3."

We pushed down together, eyes locked, and a deep rumble shook the atmosphere. Another bang caught our attention and our heads whirled round towards where the CIT Building stood, now crumbling against the flames and smoke produced by the bomb. I grabbed Veronica's hand, only imagining how hard this must've been to watch. Shaun was still underneath all of this, still in his office, waiting for death. I hated him for what he had done to her, what he had turned her into. A shock wave penetrated the air, sending a warm wave of energy over us. Still, we watched. We watched until the last brick had fallen. Eventually, she turned away from the scene and slowly walked towards the roof access.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, stopping her in her tracks. Preston and the others had already moved on.

"I don't know," She croaked. "I just want to go home."

I winced at the words. We didn't have a home, not really. "Back to the Castle?"

"I…" She faltered, before forcing a small smile. "Yeah. Back to the Castle. We have to deal with the child."

#####

The child synth was waiting for us when we got to the courtyard. He cheered and ran over to Veronica, wrapping his arms around her waist. I trailed behind, watching from a small distance. Looking at him, I would never have been able to tell that he wasn't human. I could see the real Shaun in him, could tell that this was a deeply personal project that the madman had put a lot of heart into. It was twisted, really, that this child would never be able to grow up and live a life. And now Veronica was burdened with the task of keeping that from him, somehow. How was this going to work?

"Father gave me this," Shaun pulled a holotape out of his back pocket. "He told me to give this to you."

"Thank you," Veronica frowned at the tape and hugged her synth-child once again. "Why don't you go explore while MacCready and I settle in?"

"Okay!" He bounded away with such infectious enthusiasm, I couldn't help but smile.

Veronica turned to me with a serious expression, waggling the holotape in her hand. "We need to listen to this somewhere private."

I agreed and led her to our bunk in the medical bay. We closed the door and she inserted the tape into her Pip-Boy. A crackle sounded around the room, a static hum filling our ears. Shaun's voice seeped through the noise.

 _If you are hearing this, then whatever conflicts you and I have endured are over. I have no reason to believe you'll honor the request I'm about to make, but I feel compelled to try anyway. This synth, this... boy. He deserves more. He has been re-programmed to believe he is your son. It is my hope that you will take him with you. I would ask only that you give him a chance. A chance to be a part of whatever future awaits the Commonwealth._

The static ended abruptly and the tape clicked off. I turned to Veronica, seeing a single tear slide down her cheek. I wiped it gently with my thumb and held her, unsure of what else to do. Before long, the tears were pouring from her eyes and she wailed into my chest, all the pain and all the sacrifice finally catching up with her. I didn't talk, only rocked her back and forth, keeping her close to me. Nothing I could say would make any of this better. Nothing was going to be the same again. I knew that she would overwhelmed with everything.

This was going to take time. I was going to be there for her every step of the way.

First step: I had to give her somewhere she could really call home.

#####

 **VERONICA**

Everyone around me was celebrating, and why shouldn't they have been? The biggest threat to the Commonwealth had finally been eliminated, after years and years of terror. The city of Boston could rest easier knowing that fact. So why couldn't I? It had only been a few days since the event and a lot of my friends had moved on. Only Preston and the Minutemen remained at the Castle now. News was spreading all over via the radio that the Institute had been destroyed, which left folks uncertain about the future. I wanted to go out there and help but I just couldn't bring myself to do anything. A deep, puncturing sadness ran through me, seeping into my core and making me feel numb and hopeless. Ever since I had thawed and escaped Vault 111, I had a purpose. I had a goal. I had failed that goal.

I knew it wasn't my fault. Was it?

What was I supposed to do now?

I had to look after Shaun. I knew it wasn't the real Shaun, just an android that my actual son had left behind. I couldn't tell if it was a gift or a punishment, but this was my second chance to be a mother. I began to learn how to push my inner demons aside for his sake. It didn't take long for me to love the boy. I could pretend that everything else was just a horrid nightmare, and now I was awake and my Shaun was here. It was the only way I could cope with the guilt.

MacCready was barely around anymore and that made me feel wary. After all the excitement, was he done with me? I wouldn't have blamed him, not after everything he had been through himself. When he was around, he acted coy about his trips. He'd just kiss me on the forehead and tell me to take my time. I loved him so fucking much. I couldn't bear the thought that I might lose him too.

I was ready to confront him about it. One night, whilst Shaun was sleeping, I watched MacCready walk out of the Castle and towards the docks, so I decided to follow him. It was dark but I could mostly see from the floodlights as he made his way to a small row boat. He was wearing a dirty, white short-sleeved shirt that I'd never seen him in before. He usually wore a longer duster coat, much like his old one but less tattered, so it was odd to see him without it. I crouched low to the ground and began to sneak towards him when he turned and looked straight at me, a sly smirk already plastered across his face.

"Took you long enough." He reached his hand out. I stood up, defeated, and took his hand so that he could pull me onto the boat.

"What's going on?" I frowned, taking in all of the materials on the boat with us. Slats of wood, bags of cement and fertiliser, sheets of steel. "What is all of this?"

"You'll see." He pushed the boat from the shore and began to heave at the oars. The further out we went, the darker it got, so I turned on my Pip-Boy light. In the dim glow, I watched his muscles flex at the strain of rowing – his arms were more toned than I'd remembered, his biceps bulging impressively. He caught me staring and chuckled, but gave no explanation. After what felt like maybe an hour, we bumped into another shore, and I realised quickly that we were at that small island we had spotted weeks before. Butterflies filled my stomach as I remembered what MacCready had said to me that day.

 _One day, we'll go to that island and make it our home._

He helped me out of the boat and held out his arms in triumph. "So, uh… welcome home?"

I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth in awe. There stood a house, small but sturdy, with a fenced off area to the side that held two Brahmin. I slowly walked towards the house, taking in the craftsmanship and care that had gone into building it. Sure, it wasn't perfect, but it was taking my breath away. I stepped inside and was greeted by homely living space, already kitted out with an old couch and a rug. There was a gap in the floor boards in the middle of the room, with a hole dug into the dirt. MacCready pointed towards a pile of bricks off to the side.

"I'm still building a fire pit there, where we can cook food." He was sheepish. I punched him playfully on the arm and laughed, overwhelmed by the whole thing. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"MacCready…" I whispered. "This is perfect."

"There's two bedrooms, that way," He began to rush about the space, gesturing to doors and objects. "I've just done the plumbing in there so we can use that as the bathroom once I've got all the parts I need. I found this old cabinet, I thought you could use that maybe?"

"You're… ripped." I laughed.

"Yeah, lifting heavy wood will do that," He shrugged. "And don't get me started on the struggle of getting Brahmin on a boat."

No longer able to resist, I threw myself at him and planted a kiss on his lips, soft at first, but then demanding. We pressed into each other, hungry for more, tongues dancing together, hands exploring. We sank onto the couch, tangled in a passionate embrace. Lost in each other, we made love in our new home. In that moment, I felt safe. I felt happy. I felt hope.

* * *

 **Hi guys, just a quick message to say that this isn't the final chapter – there will be an epilogue to show you where the characters are and how things have ended for them. Thanks for sticking around for this long, I hope you enjoyed it!**


	24. Happy Times

_So, wish on the moon  
And someday, it may be tomorrow  
You will suddenly hear chimes  
And you'll have your happy, happy time_

 **MACCREADY**

I wiped the sweat from my forehead with one quick motion before looking up at the sky in disdain. The sun had been beating down on us all day, and my skin was burning beneath its relentless rays. Needing to take a rest, I got up off my knees and began to survey the land around me, a feeling of pride resonating throughout my body. I had just harvested the last of our Tato plants, the Mutfruit bushes next on my list. Our Brahmin had already been milked and Shaun was in the middle of collecting water from the purifier. He was helpful enough, always doing his part on the farm. These last few months had been pretty tough for the little guy, but he was managing to pull through. You see, it hadn't taken too long for him to figure out what he truly was.

Veronica had wanted to tell him eventually, but with everything that had happened, she didn't know how to say it without upsetting him. It was bad enough that we had to explain to him that Father – the real Shaun – wasn't around anymore, we didn't want to lump another life-changing bombshell on him. However, everyone was talking about synths, even more so than before. The Commonwealth was now trying to figure out if they wanted to welcome them or shun them, starting a whole new divide for the public to fight over. Then, Shaun had asked to go to Nat's birthday. We had been wary at first, but didn't want to shelter him from a normal childhood. He'd had a great time, ate sweet rolls and played with the other kids.

On the way back to our island, he'd asked when his birthday was. Veronica had told him without thinking, no hesitation. Shaun had frowned, confused as to why his birthday was the same as Father's. And then he asked what happened on his last birthday? Why could he not remember his last birthday? Why did he not know when his birthday was? Why couldn't he remember anything from before?

A few days later, I'd caught him on the beach, staring at his hand. He'd fallen and gashed it on a rock, exposing the wiring underneath. He'd looked at me, no emotion in his eyes, and asked me that dreaded question.

"I'm a synth, aren't I?"

Still, after figuring it out, he had taken everything in his stride, showing off such maturity for a ten-year-old. Veronica explained to me that his systems would always advance, even if his body didn't, so he would become incredibly intelligent as time wore on. It was pretty normal that he would learn to accept his situation. If anything, he was simply grateful that we had adopted him. I cared for him like he was my own son, and I told him every day how much I loved him.

I glanced back at the make-shift house, which had become a little bigger than when I had first built it, to where the love of my life was stood in the doorway. Her auburn hair stuck to her forehead from the heat. She was wearing a flannel shirt and a pair of biker pants that she'd cut into shorts, her once pale skin now darkened from spending so much time in the sun. Veronica had been troubled all morning, and no wonder; it had been a year to the day since the Institute was destroyed. I waved at her and lifted the bucket of Tato's beside me, making my way over to where she stood. I could hear our song drifting from inside as I got closer, so I started to hum.

#####

 **VERONICA**

I couldn't believe it had been a whole year since I had blown up the Institute. A whole year since I had spoken to the real Shaun. Over a year since I had awoken in the future. The Commonwealth was a scary place, but I now knew it as my home. The island that MacCready had secured for us was perfect, protecting my new son from synth-haters and other dangers. We'd made a deal with Preston wherein the Minuteman gave us caps for food that we grew on our farm. Every month, we would set sail to the Castle to do trading and go hunting for meat. It was good, honest work and it made me feel content to know that we would always have them on side.

The Minutemen were a force to be reckoned with these days. Strongholds were scattered across the whole of Boston, so now Preston could live his dream of protecting the public at a minute's notice. I was so happy for him. Piper had caught up with the young soldier she'd bumped into during our infiltration. Her name was Ivy and she was the perfect match for my reporter friend. It wasn't long before she had moved into Piper's home in Diamond City and they visited us often so that I would always have the latest copy of Publik Occurrences. I loved them both dearly and was overjoyed that Piper had found someone to spend her life with.

Nick was still taking cases at his detective agency, with his trusted secretary, Ellie, always at his side. Last I heard, they were investigating a missing persons case that had filtered down from up north, a young girl gone missing from her parents. Sometimes I took a trip to the Great Green Jewel of the Commonwealth so that I could be kept up to speed on their adventures.

I had finally caught up with the Railroad again, who weren't overly pleased to see me. Desdemona was annoyed that I hadn't included them in my plans, but happy that I'd saved as many synths as possible. If anything, it gave them more work to do, now that there were so many synths out there that needed homes and new lives. Deacon was angry that I'd let them believe I was dead, but also happy that I wasn't. The whole reunion had been uncomfortable and I couldn't wait to put that part of my life behind me, though I was thankful for their input – I couldn't forget how integral they had been in me finding Shaun, Tinker Tom especially.

During my visit I had remembered my promise to Virgil, which meant venturing to the Glowing Sea again. This time, MacCready came with me, as we had the foresight to buy radiation suits from a travelling caravan on our way over. Virgil was so happy that we'd brought him the serum and injected it straight away. Unfortunately, he'd asked if I'd managed to get into the Institute, so I'd had to tell him that it no longer existed. Even after what they had done to him, he was furious with my actions and kicked me out of the cave. He didn't want to see me ever again, which was totally understandable. That place had been his whole life, and now he didn't have anywhere to go. At least he would get to be human again.

The Brotherhood of Steel weren't moving on as much as we would've liked them to. Apparently, they were not happy about so many synths evading the blast and were trying to hunt them all down to exterminate, which meant they often fought with the Railroad. They were also not too thrilled that the Minutemen had been the ones to take the Institute down – it was embarrassing and unprofessional. Luckily, they didn't want to make an enemy of another faction, and so had made a deal with Preston that if neither group got in each other's way, they wouldn't have a problem. It seemed to be working so far. During their strained visit to the Castle, I had asked the Paladin in charge of that group if they'd had any word from Danse. The news I was given was not what I had expected.

It seemed that the Brotherhood had uncovered damning evidence that Danse himself was a synth. I couldn't image how badly he would have taken that. He'd gone on the run and was still out there somewhere, but Elder Maxson had sent out troops to locate him. They were going to kill him. I wanted to find him myself and set everything straight, but I didn't want to start anything with such a large force. So, I silently prayed every night that Danse would find safety and be able to come to terms with his new life. God only knew how much this news will have shaken him.

Things were… different now. Between the public fighting over whether synths deserved to integrate with humanity and the Brotherhood clashing with the Railroad, things were still pretty heated in the Commonwealth. The world was far from saved, but at least there was one less thing to worry about. Our island was our fortress and no one was coming in. We were going to survive this hell after all.

I leaned in the doorway of my new home, watching the boys as they worked the fields. I would usually be out there with them, or out hunting on the mainland, but recently I had not been in the right state to do any of that. MacCready turned to look at me and gave a wave, so I waved back as he walked towards me and receded into the living area. The fire was lit, sending a warmth throughout the space. I had the radio on; it was playing our song. I twirled the metal band on my finger, fondly remembering the day that we had decided to become husband and wife. And this song had been playing, and we had danced. Happy, happy times…

"Well, hello beautiful." MacCready hugged me from behind now, humming that tune softly in my ear. He reached down to my stomach and began rubbing it in circles. I glanced down at the small bump that was growing there, unable to control the smile that crept on my face. Our little family was growing. I guided him towards our room so that I could gaze upon the crib that was proudly standing by the bed. This had been Shaun's crib – MacCready had scavenged it from the wreck that had once been my pre-war house and brought it back for me. Now it could be put to use again, no longer a painful reminder of my tragic past, but a hopeful representation of the wonderful life that was to come.

Things were peaceful for the first time since I had thawed. I began to sway to the song with my lover, letting myself fall into the moment, no longer afraid of what my future might be.

This was my future.

* * *

 **THE END**


End file.
